Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
KG303

Were you in love with your “giver?”

Recommended Posts

KG303

I was. We were best friends and kinda just started having sex. I got serious feelings and I never ended things in hope that we’d end up together, thinking that it just wasn’t our time. And then he ended up giving this to me. He doesn’t think he did or maybe he does because I haven’t talked to him in months. But I’d only been with 2 people besides him and they were clean. I really miss him and he’s a sweet guy, College just changed him and also some of the friends he met along the way. That may seem crazy and I should be more mad, but the way I see it is it happened and I can’t change it so it’s whatever. He never knew I had feelings I don’t think and I don’t plan on letting him know. I tried to hook up with him again since we both have it now and I’ve decided that I’d rather date someone who does have the virus too but still no reply. He hasn’t even read it but I’m too scared to check. But that will probably never happen. Even after all this, I still think he’s a good person but he’s just wild since he was so sheltered when he was younger. I think everyone makes mistakes. I may be making excuses but I do still have feelings and I hope one day I’ll be able to set them aside. 

What was everyone else’s feelings towards their giver or their suspected giver? Did you love them or were they just random? Sometimes it makes me feel better hearing others stories. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dancingmoontj

How old are you @KG303 and how old is he ?

I´m sorry you are in this situation , feelings and a person who does not seem to act mature enough. Really hope you find someone who worth it and value you too. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
cowpoke02

more a screw up and influenced deal . person came back wouldn't give up . supported by fake friend.  evil lady . i knew better .. she must new and sucked me in any way . curse of being nice good looks .  no means yes to every one they don't give up . i got anti christed . haha.  devil person ..  i failed my gut and knowledge . my morals .  live in limited choices not much to pick from ya get dumb .  then go out out other places countries and boom gold mine ..  how life  goes ..  oh well .   i ran int o serial dating she devil . glad i didn't die  .  probably out giving it to the masses still .  one those people should go to prison . haha. 

Edited by cowpoke02

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KG303
11 minutes ago, dancingmoontj said:

How old are you @KG303 and how old is he ?

I´m sorry you are in this situation , feelings and a person who does not seem to act mature enough. Really hope you find someone who worth it and value you too. 

Hey. I’m gonna be 21 January 1st and he’ll be 21 January 7th. Thanks for that, I appreciate it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KG303
12 minutes ago, cowpoke02 said:

more a screw up and influenced deal . person came back wouldn't give up . supported by fake friend.  evil lady . i knew better .. she must new and sucked me in any way . curse of being nice good looks .  no means yes to every one they don't give up . i got anti christed . haha.  devil person ..  i failed my gut and knowledge . my morals .  live in limited choices not much to pick from ya get dumb .  then go out out other places countries and boom gold mine ..  how life  goes ..  oh well .   i ran int o serial dating she devil . glad i didn't die  .  probably out giving it to the masses still .  one those people should go to prison . haha. 

So sorry to hear about your experience. I relate to you. It will get better and hopefully one day you’ll find someone who won’t lie to you. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sheenas

Im one of them girls that was head over boots for a guy that whored around. I didnt know he was like that at all until i heard about him on the streets. He had a different girl everyday i guess. I didnt know at all. I even asked him if he was clean he said yea. I hate him for lying to me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Divon

It´s a bit sad but girls do have a tendency to all fall for the same very small proportion of the population which is true for many relatives of humans aswell where the alpha male sleeps with all of the women.

Any guy who has traveled around the world and went to places where they are considered more exotic or more special know this to be very true. Due to the way of how mens biology with the sperm spreading works compared to how womens biology with pregnancy period works men are more likely to be tempted to having several sexual partners.

It is said that statistically women are more unfaithful than men, however this statistic look the way it does because women are basically constantly being offered sex while this is only true for a very small proportion of the top dogs among men.

It is much more common for a man to have had sex with a 3 digit number of women than it is for a woman to have had sex with a 3 digit of men. In order for this to be true it also very much so that women are more equal to eachother in how many sex partners they have while men are extremly polarized where one man might have had 50-100 times as many partners as another.

It is also very much the case that as soon as a man starts being honest about something like a life long incurable std he will drop down from his high horse and become a regular man AKA no longer belong to the group of men that doesn´t have to worry about finding attractive sexual partners. For a man to have this happening to them can in many times be considered worse than a deadly non contagious diseas.  Having many options and never having to look desperate does not only help a man who wants to live a non monogamous lifestyle, it is also considered to be highly important for any man who is looking for a nice and attractive long term partner.

HSV will of course make it a lot harder for a woman to date aswell but obtaining sex as a woman is relatively easy in the first place to make up for that. Managing to marry one of these guys from the minority of super popular men can of course be highly difficult as a woman with HSV. Luckily the vast majority of men will try to seize the opportunity of a getting a nice girlfriend as soon as they see it in fear of missing out. While herpes still can make them hesitate even if they dont have a ton of options like the top dogs might have, they usually tend to bypass it.

A lot of people will deny that the dating world works this way but it sadly does. Just look at any internet dating application such as tinder where less than the most popular ~5% of the guys in an area gets almost all the dates while pretty much any girl that isn´t obese will have tons of matches and messages constantly.

Edited by Divon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Celinaxox

I felt no love nor attraction really to the person who gave it to me. it was a stupid one night stand that I wanted to "try out" and the person failed to mention they get coldsores and gave me oral. I feel pretty stupid that I essentially have part of a stranger lingering in my nerve cells for the rest of my life causing me physical & emotional pain I dont even know their last name. I feel like if someone I loved gave this to me and they did so on complete accident would maybe feel more forgiving.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cas9
3 hours ago, Celinaxox said:

I felt no love nor attraction really to the person who gave it to me. it was a stupid one night stand that I wanted to "try out" and the person failed to mention they get coldsores and gave me oral. I feel pretty stupid that I essentially have part of a stranger lingering in my nerve cells for the rest of my life causing me physical & emotional pain I dont even know their last name. I feel like if someone I loved gave this to me and they did so on complete accident would maybe feel more forgiving.

If all you have is hsv1 oral you should not be bothered at all. Even my parents had it. At least 70% of Americans have it. No one is embarrassed or cares about cold sores on their lips.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Anon222

I honestly don’t know who gave it to me. I’ll be honest I was sleeping around a lot before I got it. The last few girls I slept with before getting this I wore a condom with so I’m not sure. I considered at first texting them and asking if they had it but I just felt like it wouldn’t be productive. It wasn’t going to take herpes away from me.  I’ve thought about this a little bit, whether it would have been better to get this from someone I cared about vs not even knowing who gave it to me. I’m honestly not sure which is better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KG303
6 hours ago, Sheena C said:

Im one of them girls that was head over boots for a guy that whored around. I didnt know he was like that at all until i heard about him on the streets. He had a different girl everyday i guess. I didnt know at all. I even asked him if he was clean he said yea. I hate him for lying to me

My story is kinda similar. I just thought he was having sex with me and the occasional one night stand and he said he always used protection so I got lied to also. I was kind of an idiot though, but you never expect to end up with herpes from things like this so yeah. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KG303
44 minutes ago, Anon222 said:

I honestly don’t know who gave it to me. I’ll be honest I was sleeping around a lot before I got it. The last few girls I slept with before getting this I wore a condom with so I’m not sure. I considered at first texting them and asking if they had it but I just felt like it wouldn’t be productive. It wasn’t going to take herpes away from me.  I’ve thought about this a little bit, whether it would have been better to get this from someone I cared about vs not even knowing who gave it to me. I’m honestly not sure which is better.

Me either. I got it from someone I truly cared about and in my experience it’s been hell because I was so hurt over the fact that he put my health at risk without even caring of the consequences because I was so good to him. He was in college starving so I would offer to buy him groceries, I would always be there when he was having a tough time and give him encouragement, and in the end he ignores me but still can go out and party. So maybe I was better off catching it from someone I didn’t care about. Maybe then i wouldn’t be as emotional over it. I feel like if I would’ve just got it from a one night stand I could be like oh yeah well shit happens, but getting it from someone I would’ve done anything for just ain’t fair because I was good to him and I know some people may not know they have it but he was sleeping with multiple women but acting like he wasn’t. If we’re having sex you should care about me enough to let me know what’s going on so I won’t sleep with you anymore if you’re wilding out that crazy but whatever. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Roja
8 hours ago, Celinaxox said:

I felt no love nor attraction really to the person who gave it to me. it was a stupid one night stand that I wanted to "try out" and the person failed to mention they get coldsores and gave me oral. I feel pretty stupid that I essentially have part of a stranger lingering in my nerve cells for the rest of my life causing me physical & emotional pain I dont even know their last name. I feel like if someone I loved gave this to me and they did so on complete accident would maybe feel more forgiving.

You wanted sex, you wanted joy and passion and that's it! There is no need to feel stupid for that! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
bluebell87

i got hsv2 from a guy in work who i really really liked, he led me on for 2 months, saying how much he liked me but it turns out he just wasn’t a very nice person .. he ended up quitting after 3 months... when i told him he had no sympathy, nothing intact he said he has never been sick and only got a cold sore on his ear once LOL ok hun :ok_hand: idiot ...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sheenas

I wish hsv2 never existed . i think it was made by the government to make sure the world doesnt overpopulate and to make our live shitty cause thats what the devil would want. Also to make money for the pharma 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Roja

I got it from a guy I had a sexual relationship with. I was quite young, 19 y/o and I wanted to explore my sexuality. This guy was so interesting and I was very attracted to him. And it actually was very nice until I found out he had a girlfriend during the whole time :S

We never had sex without protection, but our genitals touched. 

It took me years to understand that I don't have to feel shame for that. I think especially as a woman society tells us that you're a sl*t or a wh*re if you are having sex with someone you are not interested in having a serious relationship with.

I usually don't tell people how I caught it - not, because I feel shame, but because I think that people tend to think "ah, so if I do not behave that way I will never get herpes" which is wrong and just supporting the stigma. If someone tells me how I got it, I usually answer: "Well, I had sex." :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
tayelle

I was in a long term relationship, got tested regularly. He got tested (possibly not for H).. we mostly wore condoms.. even after negative tests.  However,  it still happened. This doesn't discriminate.  My dr. agreed that it wasn't fair and that sometimes life is like spinning a wheel. I can't say if a one night stand is worse. Most of us got blindsided with our diagnosis

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Miss Annie

I’m afraid to give it to someone even if we wear condoms. A boyfriend of mine gave it to me... never told me he had it. Relationship only lasted a few months after that. It’s been almost 3 years now. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RNY18

Yes.

I believe, though can never be 100% sure,I got HSV-2 from a woman I was monogamous with for 19 months.

I believed I would have married her, but she did not share my feelings, in the end.

About a month or more after our last contact, I had symptoms that were “atypical”. Never registered that it could be HSV.They cleared up.

Same symptoms about a year later, got tested. Positive result for 1 & 2.

I had tested negative 4 years before and had been with 2 women before my last relationship. One of those was kissing only, the other one was a one time sexual encounter.

We have not been in touch for 15 months, debating if I should tell her.She essentially “ghosted” me after we last saw each other.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
scorpiongirl

I was in a long-term relationship. I would have married him in a heartbeat if he'd asked me.  But he cheated and lied to me and we didn't use condoms.  After almost 3 years and getting tested multiple times during that time and coming back negative,  I trusted him.  Huge mistake.  It only takes one time and one horrible person cause he knew he'd caught it from the other woman when he gave it to me.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KG303
On 12/15/2018 at 6:54 AM, Miss Annie said:

I’m afraid to give it to someone even if we wear condoms. A boyfriend of mine gave it to me... never told me he had it. Relationship only lasted a few months after that. It’s been almost 3 years now. 

Hey @Miss Annie have you tried looking into dating sites or meeting someone else with HSV? That way there’ll be no worries about spreading it, well, cause they already have it :) stop living in fear. I’m late but it’s not a life threatening virus and as long as you are careful and on meds the risk should be pretty low. Don’t think no one will accept you, plenty of guys don’t give a shit. Get out there and live your life. Don’t let this virus take everything from you. And if you’re not comfortable, plenty of people are in the same situation we are and I’m sure you could find someone. Best of luck to you. Sorry about the shitty boyfriend. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KG303
On 1/2/2019 at 8:33 PM, scorpiongirl said:

I was in a long-term relationship. I would have married him in a heartbeat if he'd asked me.  But he cheated and lied to me and we didn't use condoms.  After almost 3 years and getting tested multiple times during that time and coming back negative,  I trusted him.  Huge mistake.  It only takes one time and one horrible person cause he knew he'd caught it from the other woman when he gave it to me.  

I’m so sorry. I just don’t understand how some men think that’s okay when it’s not and never will be. You’re right, just one time is all it takes. I was seeing this guy for almost 3 years. Told me he used condoms with everyone and I thought there were only a few girls. I was still learning about my sexuality and I had feelings for him but I knew we were young and I thought he’d settle down after he had his freedom. The first time he gave me chlamydia and trichomoniasis, I was done. No one had ever given me an STD because they were so careless. I always expected us to be honest with each other when we were doing such a grown up thing like “sex.” I left. Three months later when I think that’s the worst of it, I find out I have HSV2. Crazy to even think I still miss him sometimes. I really did love him but I realize more and more everyday that if he gave a shit about me he would check up and see how I’m handling the diagnosis and he wouldn’t have piled all this shit on me to begin with. And I really though chlamydia meant the end of the world lol. But you live and you learn and I’m doing better everyday. I hope you’ll be able to do the same. I’m so sorry. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
M23
On 12/11/2018 at 6:20 AM, KG303 said:

Hey. I’m gonna be 21 January 1st and he’ll be 21 January 7th. Thanks for that, I appreciate it!

Minus the the whole him passing H to you this felt so familiar, the whole situationship with your best friend felt like what I had with an ex of mine. I thought I was reading something she wrote about me and the birth date freaked me out even more because my birth day is January 7th as well

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      70,284
    • Total Posts
      475,222
  • 0_unsure-if-it-is-herpes.png

    Unsure if you have an STD?
    Get started with testing options here

  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      @clarke53 without a swab that’s a hugely risky call!
    • clarke53
      ok so you must know 13 years ago i did something ill regret the rest of my like before that night ive never had any kinda sore on my lips and ive never had anything on my genitals ive had tons of blow jobs from women and never gave them anything because i don't have genital herpes so one night i seen a shemale and gave oral 2 days later i had burning on inside of lip and a ulcer there and i don't go a week or so without a outbreak so about a month or so later i was tested for herpes and came back nigitive for hsv 1 and positive for hsv2  to this day ive had blow jobs no condom and ive never gave any girl anything so i know i don't have genital herpes!!  
    • blurneworder
      How long has this happened to you? What was swabbed? Results yet?
    • hobson
      Hi all  i have been to a doctor on 4 seperate occasions since I had unprotected sex with a woman who I later found out has herpes . They have said “it doesn’t look” like herpes . My penis always is red , inflamed anabolic has little red pimples on it.  I am constant uncomfort and pain in my gential areas, tingling , fatigue . None of the drs have done a blood test. I have researched DNA testing as they appear more accurate. I saw a dr this week and he took a swab. It’s always on my mind now because I have just started a relationship and don’t know if I should tell her. I’m scared she will run a mile . I haven’t told her because the dr said I was fine . I don’t know what do to do .  Any advice would be appreciated . I have a history with depression and this is adding to it 
    • WilsoInAus
      @clarke53 why do you think you do not have an asymptomatic genital infection. The mouth sores don’t seem to be herpetic.  What protection do you use genitally?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.