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vanillamist

newly diagnosed.. how to handle

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vanillamist

hi there. i was recently diagnosed that i have a genital herpes.

i am really worried i dunno what to do..

could i only get this through sexual contact? since i only have one sexual partner for 3 years. why do i only get this so late?

i am really worried becuase my gyne said that i could get this from my bf, i ask my bf and he said that he doesn't have any sexual partner other than me. he is my first bf and i am his first gf. we dont have any contact outside our relationship?

how could we posibly get this?

my question is, who could be the first to be infected? did i transfer it to him or i got this from him? but how? since we dont have contact with others. i am pretty worried that he is now thinking that i got this from other, but swear i don't do that with other.

it was really a sad thing to know,since ive been loyal and faithful, and he also. i am afraid that this might affect our curent relationship.

before i was diagnosed, we're thinking of getting married, but now, im afraid that everything will change.

i feel really hopeless.

please comment or advice me. thanks..

:-(

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catiesmom

I replied in another thread too, but your doctor is wrong about sexual contact, in a way. It is possible one of you contracted HSV from an innocent kiss from a family member as a baby and either don't remember getting your primary outbreak that young, or never got one and have been a carrier ever since (i'm going to assume this is the most likely scenario for you). HSV can be transmitted oral to genital, genital to oral, oral to oral, or genital to genital. If you have genital herpes and your boyfriend had oral herpes since childhood, the most likely scenario is that he gave you oral sex and transferred it that way (that's how i got it!).

Please don't jump the unfaithful gun just yet. You should insist he get tested. If you both come up positive, i would suggest assuming this scenario and moving on with your lives together. If one of you is negative, i'm not sure what to tell you, but i'm betting that's not the case.

Please let us know?

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vanillamist

yes, i will tell you all guys. im worried now that since my bf is quite sure that he hasnt have any sexual contact with others, he is now thinking that i did it with other guy.but i assure u all that this is not the case.

medication is quite expensive though,i will visit my gyne for a popsmear by sat,to see if there is also infections inside.have no idea what is she going to do. i have ask my bf he should also be tested, but maybe after my condition got better. since we cannot afford the medication.

ive been taking aciclovir and multivatamins now.hope i will get better, since i;ve been in great pain for weeks now.

im really thankful i found this site where i cud share my feelings.

for now, i am really upset and in great pain. being with u guys somehoe help me recover.

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Caliope

I am attaching some links to some information you can share with your boyfriend and hopefully it will help.

I agree with catiesmom that if you have herpes it more than likely started with someone having a coldsore or a fever blister and either not remembering they had one or never having an outbreak from it. Oral sex is often how coldsores are transmitted to the genitals.

Otherwise I cannot imagine how you would have genital symptoms.

The first link will tell you about coldsores.

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/cold_sores.htm

The second link tells about the two types of herpes viruses and how they are transmitted.

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/herpes_simplex_1_and_2.htm

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vanillamist

thanks a lot. can herpes lead to some cancer? i will have pap smear on saturday and i have no idea regarding that.

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Sweety042

Are you saying I have to worry about transmitting Genital Herpes by kissing now? Or just cold sores. My mom had cold sores, but I never have. I never did like oral sex on myself anyway, so that's no big deal. But if I can't even kiss without worry, my life is over.

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catiesmom

Sweety, you can't pass genital herpes by kissing. But you can pass oral herpes to the genital area by oral sex. We're assuming that's how Vanillamist got it - her boyfriend probably had oral herpes as a child and passed it to her genitals via oral sex. It's not uncommon.

If you have oral herpes, however, you DO have to worry about transmission by kissing. In addition, if you have genital herpes it's still possible to for you to contract oral herpes (usually the type opposite of what you already have) via kissing. Not to mention the thousands of cold and flu germs that can be passed by kissing. Kissing is not as innocent as you might think!!!!

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