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KeepingItTogether

I was diagnosed Friday with herpes by my gyn.  Still awaiting  test results. I am a 50something year old woman who has been with my husband for 30 years.  He has had oral herpes since I've known him.  In 30 years no issues. Now all of a sudden after oral sex I have genital herpes.  I have never been so miserable, depressed etc. He feels bad but I am devastated and not sure what this means for the rest of our lives.  As empty nesters we should be having the time of our lives and now I feel like our sex life is over. I have so many questions.  Are we supposed to use condoms now?  Depression is so bad and it's Christmas.  I am barely keeping it together 

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Trace67
41 minutes ago, KeepingItTogether said:

I was diagnosed Friday with herpes by my gyn.  Still awaiting  test results. I am a 50something year old woman who has been with my husband for 30 years.  He has had oral herpes since I've known him.  In 30 years no issues. Now all of a sudden after oral sex I have genital herpes.  I have never been so miserable, depressed etc. He feels bad but I am devastated and not sure what this means for the rest of our lives.  As empty nesters we should be having the time of our lives and now I feel like our sex life is over. I have so many questions.  Are we supposed to use condoms now?  Depression is so bad and it's Christmas.  I am barely keeping it together 

Not much to worry about. You're married and both of you have it so continue as normal and forget the condoms. Things will get better. Dont get trapped in places like this or you will become miserable for sure.

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hellohello111
13 hours ago, KeepingItTogether said:

I was diagnosed Friday with herpes by my gyn.  Still awaiting  test results. I am a 50something year old woman who has been with my husband for 30 years.  He has had oral herpes since I've known him.  In 30 years no issues. Now all of a sudden after oral sex I have genital herpes.  I have never been so miserable, depressed etc. He feels bad but I am devastated and not sure what this means for the rest of our lives.  As empty nesters we should be having the time of our lives and now I feel like our sex life is over. I have so many questions.  Are we supposed to use condoms now?  Depression is so bad and it's Christmas.  I am barely keeping it together 

Sorry to hear this. Where did the diagnosis come from? A swab? You mentioned after oral so was this recent and you had an outbreak as a result? I ask because it can lie dormant for years. Did they identify which type?

Anyone on here who says life is over is a clown. You’re totally fine. First, being married with a shared illness has a plus because neither of you can get it twice. Second, this is very treatable through antivirals and soon a medication called Pritlelivir. 

Dont get wrapped around your head on this. Meds work great, just live your life and when an actual cure comes out in the next decade or less, you’ll be fine. 

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cowpoke02

having herpeis you should of been smart enough to stay away from mouth to infection contact .  it is sneaky virus .  can start out nothing and friction melt away skin and juices flowing ...  weird virus man.  get it under control .  inly have sex when feel healthy ..  when feel clean then your usually good.  feel any symptoms no way .. haha.  you had a good run . . you just eat better and some tricks you should be okay ..  time usually it gets better ..  remember like a flu  you almost die before it gets better . shit can crawl all over in the skin and be a night mare with out out breaks .  in the end it clear up for while .  be positive .. tough out the hard times is all.  get topical on outer problem spots ..  keep head up .  it cane damaging . i was going through rough patch and changed eating and new treatment plan .  no out break but damages ya and feel horrible .. comes alive and attacks .  evil thing for sure ,.. might damage vessels and shit with out out break .  i had on start in new spot it drilled in and did damage . depressing . now i am kicking shit to of the virus .. seems to be dying off or supressed .   my virus turned nasty and mutated , mother fucker man.  now i kicking its ass . even eating trigger foods .  

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cowpoke02
5 hours ago, Sheena C said:

Your life is pretty much done. Im 20 and i dont think ill ever have a husband like you do. You have a few more years living with this disease, i have plenty.. Youll be okay

haha true .. you be okay as well . guys are dirty .  just get fired or fire them get another one ..   20 your prime meat . you be okay .  stay healthy ..  it is a bitch . i got smart then faltered .  took out my best years and goals ... lucky to still look young ... time to screw with the world and have fun ..  remember i halted feel good feel lucky .  all that matters .. get problems at a young age then you believe doctors papers and  negative shit . it effects you for years . lower standards get into worse spots . then realise you actually over came the p[roblem and could of lived .  docs make you think dirty for ever .  free the mind and be healthy .  dirty world any way ..   it can always get worse . haha .. wish i could be 20 again ..  

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MikeHerp
19 hours ago, KeepingItTogether said:

I was diagnosed Friday with herpes by my gyn.  Still awaiting  test results. I am a 50something year old woman who has been with my husband for 30 years.  He has had oral herpes since I've known him.  In 30 years no issues. Now all of a sudden after oral sex I have genital herpes.  I have never been so miserable, depressed etc. He feels bad but I am devastated and not sure what this means for the rest of our lives.  As empty nesters we should be having the time of our lives and now I feel like our sex life is over. I have so many questions.  Are we supposed to use condoms now?  Depression is so bad and it's Christmas.  I am barely keeping it together 

It's not the end.  And if it's HSV1, it will probably be milder than HSV2.  Have you had any symptoms?  

You can still have fun.

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KG303
12 hours ago, Sheena C said:

Your life is pretty much done. Im 20 and i dont think ill ever have a husband like you do. You have a few more years living with this disease, i have plenty.. Youll be okay

This is completely untrue. Her life is far from done. This is what makes the stigma of herpes worse because if we can’t learn to be accepting of it then how can we expect to stop the stigma? Nobody’s life is over because of herpes. Diabetes is more harmless than herpes. Cancer is. There is literally so many ugly diseases out there and herpes is mostly harmless unless a newborn catches it. Plus, HSV1 is less aggressive than HSV2 from what I heard. Yes outbreaks suck but that’s why we all have to find something that works for us. Herpes sucks but we should stop giving it so much power over us. She has a husband that loves her and probably didn’t know he contracted it in the first place and herpes is manageable for most people and if it’s not then people should try to do everything they can to get their immune system strong. There is so much research being done and new medicine coming out that is extremely effective. @KeepingItTogether You will be fine honey. Wishing you and your husband well and a long happy life. It is hard to deal with the emotions at first but I promise it’s not a huge deal. Do not give this skin condition any power. You have a husband that does love you and half of us make it through this life without some form of herpes. It’s just like cold sores (which is most likely how your husband transmitted it to you.) chicken pox, shingles, cold sores, genital herpes...it’s all herpes no matter how you look at it. You’re not alone in this. You will be fine! 

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KG303
7 hours ago, cowpoke02 said:

haha true .. you be okay as well . guys are dirty .  just get fired or fire them get another one ..   20 your prime meat . you be okay .  stay healthy ..  it is a bitch . i got smart then faltered .  took out my best years and goals ... lucky to still look young ... time to screw with the world and have fun ..  remember i halted feel good feel lucky .  all that matters .. get problems at a young age then you believe doctors papers and  negative shit . it effects you for years . lower standards get into worse spots . then realise you actually over came the p[roblem and could of lived .  docs make you think dirty for ever .  free the mind and be healthy .  dirty world any way ..   it can always get worse . haha .. wish i could be 20 again ..  

It’s not even about dirty. Herpes is easy as hell to catch and most people have no clue that they have it because they’re asymptomatic. We give this shit too much power over us dude. But great advice, staying healthy and building your immune system is definitely the way to go. And there’s always medication you can take and amenalief is new and works from what I’ve heard. I wish we would just realize that having herpes doesn’t define us and doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. 

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KG303
11 hours ago, dont quit!17 said:

Her life isn't done but I understand where you are coming from, lol 

The only good thing about having HSV so young is that they should be able to cure this with CRISPR by the time you are 40. 

Maybe sooner than that. We never know what the future holds and crispr is holding out so far. And even if it’s not a sterilizing cure, it wouldn’t even matter since one of the biggest aspects of HSV is having to disclose to partners and fear of being rejected. I get it, but it’s so sad to see so many people giving up on living their life to the fullest potential all because of HSV. But who knows, I’m sure for some people that it’s more than an annoying skin condition. I just try to not let it bother me. 

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KG303

Also @KeepingItTogether It really seems like it’s HSV1. HSV1 is usually attracted to the mouth area, but during oral sex if someone has a cold sore or is shedding it can be transmitted to the genital area. This is probably your case. Your husband may have had cold sores since he was a young child. With herpes, it usually takes the body 6 months to a year to get adjusted to it. When it does, it’ll be able to build “antibodies” and our immune system will become better at suppressing it. Many people with HSV1 have less outbreaks and less severe outbreaks. More and more cases of genital herpes are GHSV1 now. It all depends on what your results say. You’re lucky you made it to 50 without contracting it before that. It’s very common. Over 3 million cases each year. You can take medication if you want, that is your decision but HSV1 is rarely (and by rarely I mean I’ve never heard of any recorded cases) passed from genital to genital sex. You don’t even need to use condoms. You and your husband will be fine and I do hope you can find it in your heart to forgive and understand that he may have never even knew that it can be spread this way. People rarely ever do. But regardless, everything is fine. Also, I would kill to have GHSV1 over GHSV2. That’s a different type of monster on its own. Not really, but I find a way to manage. 

But read into it and you will see herpes is not a big deal. You have someone that loves you and that is very hard for us young ones to find since people are so misinformed and sexual education is shit and makes herpes seem like it’s a deathly disease. It’s not and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Take care of yourself and make sure you get enough sleep and eat healthy and like I said, you can choose to take medication if you want to but I don’t think it’s necessary unless you have horrible and constant symptoms, which is rare with HSV1. I just want you to be informed and not feel disgusted about him and yourself. It is so very common and so harmless and we give it so much more power than it deserves. Everything will be okay. 

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cowpoke02
4 hours ago, KG303 said:

It’s not even about dirty. Herpes is easy as hell to catch and most people have no clue that they have it because they’re asymptomatic. We give this shit too much power over us dude. But great advice, staying healthy and building your immune system is definitely the way to go. And there’s always medication you can take and amenalief is new and works from what I’ve heard. I wish we would just realize that having herpes doesn’t define us and doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. 

i dirty world .  babies put everything in their mouths ..  most people have touch in the system ..  many things ..  immune system ..   i have bigger worries in my life .  gotta get on  worse problems , rare other issues and doctors turned blind eye .  i could lose face to save life . might have rare white skin cancer .  hoping for damage .  so long as you semi healthy in peace from torture your good .  t's dirty world even if you think your cleaner still gets you .  accidents shit happens .. i agree .   

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KeepingItTogether

Thank you all.  Just got confirmation that it is HSV 1.  I don't blame my husband, I just.wish it hadn't happened.  Now working.on coping with it.

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cowpoke02

don;t mind me .  i out box concepts . hah . . good to here ya doing better ..  when conceived dirty sperm goes through daddy into mommy swims through all that doesn't even wipe his feet or take shower dives into a egg . haha. live in a body attached to blood stream what ever they have. haha.  cheers . i  feel better rte now to whiskey coffee .  hugs  ..  happy to feel pretty healthy last few days .  it gets bad for day or three . depression days and symptoms ..  botching worse when they go one or don't go away ...  if you got topical problem area's  get dynamiclear can do wonders eat out the symptoms . rate at wall mart  and other places ..   cheapest easy strongest attacks on it  . get it in a hurry ..  

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cowpoke02
On 12/27/2018 at 9:08 AM, KeepingItTogether said:

Thank you all.  Just got confirmation that it is HSV 1.  I don't blame my husband, I just.wish it hadn't happened.  Now working.on coping with it.

try apricot seeds .  arpricot power .com  . i probe seemed it wrong ... fixed me up ..  bitter rich in b17 and other enzymes nutrients ...   working for me ...  take few seeds hour  every so often.  just don't take 60 at once or small take less . i take around 30 a day or 20 ..  one time i did 15 three times a day ... fixed allmy symptoms ..  must work like lysine but better .   i eat dried apricots with em most time. take some seeds with food ..   i see other people tried it years ago on here and they vanished and didn't come back to answer questions ...  i buy apocts and dried fruit for snacks locally ... working super great so far .    you be okay . few good treatments to getter back . plus you have each other .. more inconvenience once while .  take care .. seeds do work . maybe the cyniode helps as well. haha.  we usually lacking nutrients and enzymes in todays world .   bitter but not to bad .. worth it even if they doubles crippled the price .     

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