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Successful Dating With HSV-2

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here-to-help

My heart goes out to everyone who has the HSV 2 in their system. I've written two posts on here, and on each, I start out saying that I've had HSV-2 in my system for  40 yrs. I just want to encourage everyone about dating with this virus. I may seem old to you, but I'm not that old, and I was only 20 when I contacted this virus, so I have something to say. HSV 2 doesn't define who you are; you define who you are. When I met my husband, who had the virus in his system, I was attracted to the hard-working, clean-cut, handsome fellow who wanted to share his life with me. He had a lot to offer me, and I didn't care about the virus. I contacted it shortly after we were married, and wasn't upset with him; it just happened. The virus didn't define who he was to me; he defined who he was. There was one trait that he had, though, and it was due to the frustrations of being raised by the type of dad he had. He had a quick, hot, temper, which I thought our almighty God would rid him of, for he has always been hungry for God. Well, circumstances were such that the temper, after 22 yrs, was still raging, and he wasn't one to go for counseling, so I separated from him. He gave me an ultimatum to get back together, or get a divorce, and it tore my heart out , but I got a divorce.  I had wanted to see my 50th wedding anniversary someday, and I really loved him. He has exceptional qualities that make me dearly love him, but we divorced, and here I was, single with the HSV 2 in my system. I was in my early 40's, so was a bit older than many of you are, but I think I can share some insight with you. I wanted to find a mild-tempered man to share the rest of my life with, but with this virus, I felt like a piece of scum, and who would want me? Back then, I called a herpes hot-line to talk to someone about it. They encouraged me that the virus doesn't define me, and to open up with a person once I see there may be some connection between us. Let them get to know me, and by that time, they may not even care about the virus. Well, I did that, and all went well. First of all, I am a clean-cut, responsible, nice person. That is what defines me. I like to stay in physical shape, so I got out, and got active, which helped a lot. I had a good attitude, and was pleasant to be around. Those traits attracted a lot of men. I had many dates, and with the men that wanted a relationship, I opened up about the virus. I think that in 20 men, only 2 told me in a very kind way that they weren't comfortable with it. The other men were okay. None of them had the virus. In the span of 14 years, I could have been married 6 times over to good men who didn't care about the virus, and didn't have it in their systems. It really doesn't define who you are, you define who you are, and the virus is just an unfortunate thing you have to carry.  With all of those men, I was the one who couldn't go through with marriage, and we all parted on good terms. The reason I couldn't, was because with each fellow I still couldn't heal from my broken heart, and deep in my heart, I wanted to someday have my marriage back, for I loved him. We had kids and grand kids by this time, and I wanted my family together. So, I resigned to stay single for the rest of my life, for I just couldn't move on. Well, it was all God's plan, for one day, one of my sons told me that their dad had seriously mellowed. (My husband had remained single after our divorce, and had tried to get me back over the years, but his temper was still there.) I'm happy to say that we are re-married to this day, his temper is gone, and I'm a happy camper! Still won't see my 50th wedding anniversary, unfortunately! I encourage all of you out there, be a good person, be kind and friendly, go about your life with faith in yourself, focus on the things you like to do, and get out there and do them, for this is what will define you. After you spend some time with a person, and you've hit if off with them, you'll be surprised at how receptive and appreciative they are when you tell them about the virus. With me, everyone showed compassion; no one thought I was a piece of scum. I am NOT a piece of scum, and that virus doesn't make me one. Neither was my husband a piece of scum, even with that temper! This is NOT the end of your life; you can have a rich, fulfilled life in spite of this unfortunate mishap that happened to you. I hope you read what I wrote called,  "How to Kill and Outbreak", and try the garlic for kicking out the outbreak at the onslaught. Don't need to drink it with only water, but whichever beverage you choose.  I corrected this on "How to Kill an Outbreak Continued". No need to read that one, for it was just giving a correction about the water, and the instruction on two large cloves of garlic.  Cloves can get LARGE, so basically, you need enough to fill 3 or 4 capsules; that was it.  Thank you for listening; I hope this has helped.  God bless you all!!

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RNY18

Thanks for your encouragement !

I appreciate your candor  , am feeling quite lost and hopeless ,at the moment.

I have seen many posts from women, not a lot from men on this topic. Your situation seems unique as you had been married, then re-married your ex.

It is hard to imagine that a woman would accept that she could be infected from me,even in the best of odds , upon disclosure.

I am close to your age and the thought of remaining alone for the rest of my life has me terrified......

Edited by RNY18

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here-to-help
6 hours ago, RNY18 said:

Thanks for your encouragement !

I appreciate your candor  , am feeling quite lost and hopeless ,at the moment.

I have seen many posts from women, not a lot from men on this topic. Your situation seems unique as you had been married, then re-married your ex.

It is hard to imagine that a woman would accept that she could be infected from me,even in the best of odds , upon disclosure.

I am close to your age and the thought of remaining alone for the rest of my life has me terrified......

The thought of being single had me terrified as well. So many of us feel that way and I wish we didn't. I have a brother who has never been married. He says he would have like to been married over the years, but it just didn't happen. Now he is very content with his single status. He can go where he wants when he wants, leave his dirty socks on the floor, clean the house at 2 am,  eat what he wants when he wants, and he's content.  After being single for 14 years, I grew to feel the same. I enjoyed my own company.  As for my marrying a man who had the virus, I hope you will glean from that. There will be a woman who will love you for what you are, and she is the one. Even if you didn't have the virus, there is still only that one out there who has your ring on her finger. If you didn't have the virus, you still may have dated and dated, before you met that one who is to wear your ring, so perhaps you could keep that in the forefront of your mind, and don't let that virus cripple your courage:)

Edited by here-to-help

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here-to-help
29 minutes ago, here-to-help said:

Oops!  Was trying to edit the above post, and finally figured it out! Can't get rid of this here post.

 

Edited by here-to-help

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here-to-help
Just now, here-to-help said:

 

 

6 hours ago, dont quit!17 said:

Loved your post!

Thank you!

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Hopefloats30

Love this thank you. I truly hope I will not be alone in this life. 

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Scaredbutterfly
On 1/11/2019 at 8:15 PM, here-to-help said:

My heart goes out to everyone who has the HSV 2 in their system. I've written two posts on here, and on each, I start out saying that I've had HSV-2 in my system for  40 yrs. I just want to encourage everyone about dating with this virus. I may seem old to you, but I'm not that old, and I was only 20 when I contacted this virus, so I have something to say. HSV 2 doesn't define who you are; you define who you are. When I met my husband, who had the virus in his system, I was attracted to the hard-working, clean-cut, handsome fellow who wanted to share his life with me. He had a lot to offer me, and I didn't care about the virus. I contacted it shortly after we were married, and wasn't upset with him; it just happened. The virus didn't define who he was to me; he defined who he was. There was one trait that he had, though, and it was due to the frustrations of being raised by the type of dad he had. He had a quick, hot, temper, which I thought our almighty God would rid him of, for he has always been hungry for God. Well, circumstances were such that the temper, after 22 yrs, was still raging, and he wasn't one to go for counseling, so I separated from him. He gave me an ultimatum to get back together, or get a divorce, and it tore my heart out , but I got a divorce.  I had wanted to see my 50th wedding anniversary someday, and I really loved him. He has exceptional qualities that make me dearly love him, but we divorced, and here I was, single with the HSV 2 in my system. I was in my early 40's, so was a bit older than many of you are, but I think I can share some insight with you. I wanted to find a mild-tempered man to share the rest of my life with, but with this virus, I felt like a piece of scum, and who would want me? Back then, I called a herpes hot-line to talk to someone about it. They encouraged me that the virus doesn't define me, and to open up with a person once I see there may be some connection between us. Let them get to know me, and by that time, they may not even care about the virus. Well, I did that, and all went well. First of all, I am a clean-cut, responsible, nice person. That is what defines me. I like to stay in physical shape, so I got out, and got active, which helped a lot. I had a good attitude, and was pleasant to be around. Those traits attracted a lot of men. I had many dates, and with the men that wanted a relationship, I opened up about the virus. I think that in 20 men, only 2 told me in a very kind way that they weren't comfortable with it. The other men were okay. None of them had the virus. In the span of 14 years, I could have been married 6 times over to good men who didn't care about the virus, and didn't have it in their systems. It really doesn't define who you are, you define who you are, and the virus is just an unfortunate thing you have to carry.  With all of those men, I was the one who couldn't go through with marriage, and we all parted on good terms. The reason I couldn't, was because with each fellow I still couldn't heal from my broken heart, and deep in my heart, I wanted to someday have my marriage back, for I loved him. We had kids and grand kids by this time, and I wanted my family together. So, I resigned to stay single for the rest of my life, for I just couldn't move on. Well, it was all God's plan, for one day, one of my sons told me that their dad had seriously mellowed. (My husband had remained single after our divorce, and had tried to get me back over the years, but his temper was still there.) I'm happy to say that we are re-married to this day, his temper is gone, and I'm a happy camper! Still won't see my 50th wedding anniversary, unfortunately! I encourage all of you out there, be a good person, be kind and friendly, go about your life with faith in yourself, focus on the things you like to do, and get out there and do them, for this is what will define you. After you spend some time with a person, and you've hit if off with them, you'll be surprised at how receptive and appreciative they are when you tell them about the virus. With me, everyone showed compassion; no one thought I was a piece of scum. I am NOT a piece of scum, and that virus doesn't make me one. Neither was my husband a piece of scum, even with that temper! This is NOT the end of your life; you can have a rich, fulfilled life in spite of this unfortunate mishap that happened to you. I hope you read what I wrote called,  "How to Kill and Outbreak", and try the garlic for kicking out the outbreak at the onslaught. Don't need to drink it with only water, but whichever beverage you choose.  I corrected this on "How to Kill an Outbreak Continued". No need to read that one, for it was just giving a correction about the water, and the instruction on two large cloves of garlic.  Cloves can get LARGE, so basically, you need enough to fill 3 or 4 capsules; that was it.  Thank you for listening; I hope this has helped.  God bless you all!!

Appreciate your post. I'm currently undergoing my first outbreak although I haven't undergone any confirmatory test as of yet. Not sure if I got it from my boyfriend or if I'm the carrier. I'm still finding the best way to start the conversation with him. Anyway, I would like to know more about your article on controlling an outbreak through water and garlic. 

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here-to-help

I hope you haven't read this yet, for I posted this late last night, and forgot to say I'm sorry you're experiencing an outbreak! I hope your test comes out negative for the virus. If it shows positive, please keep your chin up, for it isn't the end of the world for you, truly. Many of us are experiencing fulfilling lives in spite of this unfortunate mishap. The topic "How to Kill an Outbreak" tells about stopping a vicious outbreak within 3 or 4 days, rather than suffer with a painfully raging 10 or-more-day outbreak.  If I could update that post, I would say that the garlic doesn't need to be pressed through a press and stuffed into a capsule, but can be plainly eaten whatever way. It would be 4 or 5 small cloves, or 2 large cloves. My husband would chop it and scramble it with his eggs, or chop it up and put it on a sandwich, but he reeked so badly that he was hard to be around. I decided on stuffing capsules so that it can get into the system without touching the mouth or throat. One won't reek of garlic that way.

I just stopped a would-be outbreak during these last 3 days by taking the garlic. Huge blisters were forming on day 1, pain was trying to shoot down my leg and in the buttocks area, so I hit the garlic that evening. Took 4 or 5 capsules. Kept it up both morning and evening. The pain never amounted to more than a slight ache, the blisters never fully developed or burst, but just dissipated, and shrank. By the end of day 3 now, they are pretty much gone. I recommend topical canker ointment like Canker-X, or any non-mentholatum canker-sore gel, to apply to the sores. It will help to relieve any pain, will keep a protective crust over them and will help in the process. This is the dynamic duo! There should be very little discomfort for you during those 3 days, and by day 4, all should be pretty much gone. If it is still lingering, it won't linger for long. It's also important to keep your immune system built-up with good vitamins and a healthy diet and lifestyle. This has always worked for my husband and I, and I don't see why it wouldn't work for others. I was eager to get on here to share this in hopes others will find the same relief that we have. Garlic supplements at a health food store, I don't believe are potent enough. I tried one brand from a health food store, and it didn't do a thing. I feel like it is processed, sitting on the shelf, losing potency.  I believe fresh garlic is the potency needed to stop those potent outbreaks, and taking it both morning and evening is what I've done. One could try it once a day, but I sure know it works by taking it twice a day. But all in all, I pray your test comes out negative for the virus! :)

Edited by here-to-help

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