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Newone2

If there is no cure in 10 years I’m killing myself

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Newone2

Fuck this life and fuuuuck herpes. I won’t accept this disease. Ten years is all this shit gets in my body one way or another. It seem all life has given me is a big fuck you everytime I turn around so I’m giving it a big fuck you right back. I’ll suffer through ten years and hope all the new research pans out. If it doesn’t I’m checking the fuck out and not thinking twice about it. I’ll be 41 by then and pretty sure I will have had enough of the planet earth and all it’s remarkably astounding abilities to ruin a good person in ever possible way. If there is a god I’m sure I’m going straight to Hell once I get infront of him because I plan on asking the almighty creator why he is such an asshole straight to his holly face. Having a bit of a rough night....

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Hopefloats30

God gives us choices in life... We chose our paths, not god. Sex is between a husband and wife and we chose to have sex outside of marriage... This is our price for our actions and is in no way God's fault. Do not take your own life... Millions of people live with so many things in life, this is not a life threatening illness and it is fully manageable and you can be happy again and meet someone and have a happy life. 

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Miss Horne
On 1/11/2019 at 10:49 PM, Newone2 said:

Fuck this life and fuuuuck herpes. I won’t accept this disease. Ten years is all this shit gets in my body one way or another. It seem all life has given me is a big fuck you everytime I turn around so I’m giving it a big fuck you right back. I’ll suffer through ten years and hope all the new research pans out. If it doesn’t I’m checking the fuck out and not thinking twice about it. I’ll be 41 by then and pretty sure I will have had enough of the planet earth and all it’s remarkably astounding abilities to ruin a good person in ever possible way. If there is a god I’m sure I’m going straight to Hell once I get infront of him because I plan on asking the almighty creator why he is such an asshole straight to his holly face. Having a bit of a rough night....

I’ll be there with you man, exept I’ll be 51 :rolleyes:.

Ive had enough of this crap too and as R Kelly once said, I wish I could turn back the hands of time :giggle:

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Newone2
25 minutes ago, Miss Horne said:

I’ll be there with you man, exept I’ll be 51 :rolleyes:.

Ive had enough of this crap too and as R Kelly once said, I wish I could turn back the hands of time :giggle:

You aren't kidding. I would punch a baby in the face for the chance to go back in time and never meet the girl that did this to me or just flat out tell her to kick rocks when I found out she had cold sores instead of allowing myself to be deceived by everyone around me about the realities of herpes. I can't stand that everyone made me feel like I was the biggest bag of shit for not wanting to expose myself to herpes of any kind. They all said I was being ridiculous. That I wouldn't get it. It's just a cold sore. That's no reason to not be with someone. Yet here I sit with fucking herpes on my dick from her NO BIG DEAL of a cold sore. I wonder if I had given her something on her vagina and then acted like it was no big deal how she would feel. Because I tell you. I feel like I have been inprisoned for the rest of my life sexually. 

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Miss Horne
3 minutes ago, Newone2 said:

You aren't kidding. I would punch a baby in the face for the chance to go back in time and never meet the girl that did this to me or just flat out tell her to kick rocks when I found out she had cold sores instead of allowing myself to be deceived by everyone around me about the realities of herpes. I can't stand that everyone made me feel like I was the biggest bag of shit for not wanting to expose myself to herpes of any kind. They all said I was being ridiculous. That I wouldn't get it. It's just a cold sore. That's no reason to not be with someone. Yet here I sit with fucking herpes on my dick from her NO BIG DEAL of a cold sore. I wonder if I had given her something on her vagina and then acted like it was no big deal how she would feel. Because I tell you. I feel like I have been inprisoned for the rest of my life sexually. 

I understand but I don’t think I’d punch a baby up in the face though :giggle: But I get the frustration and anger, I really do. 

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Newone2
6 minutes ago, Miss Horne said:

I understand but I don’t think I’d punch a baby up in the face though :giggle: But I get the frustration and anger, I really do. 

Thank you. I guess it is what it is now. Stuck like this for another 10 years minimum.

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Miss Horne
Just now, Newone2 said:

Thank you. I guess it is what it is now. Stuck like this for another 10 years minimum.

Aye, it’s a f’cker to say the least! 

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Newone2
45 minutes ago, Miss Horne said:

Aye, it’s a f’cker to say the least! 

Did you ever stop wanting to murder the person that gave this to you. I'm not having the easiest time getting over these feelings.

 

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Miss Horne
6 minutes ago, Newone2 said:

Did you ever stop wanting to murder the person that gave this to you. I'm not having the easiest time getting over these feelings.

 

Yes I loved him but it’s not something I really like to talk about, hope you understand. 

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Newone2
15 minutes ago, Miss Horne said:

Yes I loved him but it’s not something I really like to talk about, hope you understand. 

I completely understand. I'm not sure I love the girl that did this to me. I thought I did at one point but any feelings of love I had have been replaced with anger and resentment. If 65% of the USA has hsv1 then why oh why didn't she just find someone with it instead of guilting and manipulating a knowingly  uninfected person into catching hsv. That's a really shitty thing to do in my opinion. Now that I have this I'll never be with an uninfected person ever again. 

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hellohello111
1 hour ago, Newone2 said:

I completely understand. I'm not sure I love the girl that did this to me. I thought I did at one point but any feelings of love I had have been replaced with anger and resentment. If 65% of the USA has hsv1 then why oh why didn't she just find someone with it instead of guilting and manipulating a knowingly  uninfected person into catching hsv. That's a really shitty thing to do in my opinion. Now that I have this I'll never be with an uninfected person ever again. 

Not to minimize how you feel, but did she trick you into having sex? Did you know she had cold sores and still hooked up? Were you unaware that STDs are transferred when having sex? Maybe go easy on this person since you chose to have sex with her. You’re angry and I get it, but you made this choice. This is where it is now. You’ll never stop being angry when you hold onto this. It sucks man. I know. Hang tough and you’ll see how God will pull you through this. He loves you and wants the best for you. Praying for you man. 

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T9000
4 hours ago, Newone2 said:

Did you ever stop wanting to murder the person that gave this to you. I'm not having the easiest time getting over these feelings.

 

Yes I'm honestly pretty indifferent to him now, but there's also a chance that mine didn't know, or didn't know that it was sexually transmittable if he had it orally. I would definitely suggest you try and find a good therapist.

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Newone2
50 minutes ago, T9000 said:

Yes I'm honestly pretty indifferent to him now, but there's also a chance that mine didn't know, or didn't know that it was sexually transmittable if he had it orally. I would definitely suggest you try and find a good therapist.

Maybe that wouldn't hurt. It's not going to cure this though so IDK. Thanks for the advice though. 

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Newone2
3 hours ago, hellohello111 said:

Not to minimize how you feel, but did she trick you into having sex? Did you know she had cold sores and still hooked up? Were you unaware that STDs are transferred when having sex? Maybe go easy on this person since you chose to have sex with her. You’re angry and I get it, but you made this choice. This is where it is now. You’ll never stop being angry when you hold onto this. It sucks man. I know. Hang tough and you’ll see how God will pull you through this. He loves you and wants the best for you. Praying for you man. 

Yes she did as far as I'm concerned. I asked two weeks into the relationship if she had been tested. She said she had and everything came back negative. She knew at the time that she had oral hsv1 and didn't feel it counted. I found out three months later when cold sores got brought up in conversation. I was upset about it. She got upset with me for getting upset. Asked a few people for advice. Everyone said I was over reacting. I then believed I was over reacting. Even the doctor told me oral was save so long as no outbreaks were present. A week later got hsv1 genitaly from oral. My facts were right, everyone else including the doctor was wrong. She was wrong. I was right to be upset as I never wanted herpes. She guilted me into it because I wanted to leave. She's a piece of shit.

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WilsoInAus

This is pretty unacceptable @Newone2, no one is a piece of shit for having or transmitting herpes.

You most probably did give her something. This could be HHV 1.2.3.4.5.6a, 6b or 7. You may even have given her bad strains of HPV.

Have you checked how she is about this?

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Miss Horne
59 minutes ago, Newone2 said:

Maybe that wouldn't hurt. It's not going to cure this though so IDK. Thanks for the advice though. 

Therapy did nothing to help me personally but everyone is different.

I was spending £50 (about 60 dollars) each session just to talk about how crap I felt. In the end I decided I’d rather spend the money on shoes.

My life is shit now no matter how many times I talked it over with the damn therapist but hey it could do wonders for you!

Edited by Miss Horne

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Miss Horne
6 minutes ago, Happybee said:

I felt like this about the person giving me herpes*

It’s just a real shitty thing to have happen to you isn’t it.

I did everything right and still ended up with this virus whilst other people I know slept around (nothing wrong with that) and got away with bacterial infections which are easily treatable.

I just sometimes feel like life gave me the ultimate fuck you. 

Edited by Miss Horne

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Newone2
19 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

This is pretty unacceptable @Newone2, no one is a piece of shit for having or transmitting herpes.

You most probably did give her something. This could be HHV 1.2.3.4.5.6a, 6b or 7. You may even have given her bad strains of HPV.

Have you checked how she is about this?

I get what you are saying @WilsoInAus really I do. I'm not saying anyone is bad or a piece of shit for having herpes. Some people have it from when they are children. However if you are a carrier of either hsv1 or 2 you should inform your partner up front. It's your responsibility to do so. Especially when asked outright. I'm very health conscientious before being in a new relationship. I knew exactly what I was or wasn't bringing to the table because I would never give anyone anything. She obviously didn't feel the same about anyone else's well being so yes in my eyes that makes her a piece of shit. Knowingly risking someones health because you are horny isn't a good excuse in my book.

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Newone2
3 minutes ago, Miss Horne said:

It’s just a real shitty thing to have happen to you isn’t it.

I did everything right and still ended up with this virus whilst other people I know slept around (nothing wrong with that) and got away with bacterial infections which are easily treatable.

I just sometimes feel like life gave me the ultimate fuck you. 

I did everything right and still got screwed too. She was the fith person I had ever been with. If I had known this was my fate I would have been more of a man whore lol. Just smashing everything that moved lol. Fucking life man... It's a trip

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Happybee
3 minutes ago, Miss Horne said:

It’s just a real shitty thing to have happen to you isn’t it.

I did everything right and still ended up with this virus whilst other people I know slept around (nothing wrong with that) and got away with bacterial infections which are easily treatable.

I just sometimes feel like life gave me the ultimate fuck you. 

I constantly think about it, to make it worse the person was suppose to be my friend. It really bothers me and Im embarrassed by the diease and living with it, is a big pain in butt..

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Miss Horne
3 minutes ago, Newone2 said:

I did everything right and still got screwed too. She was the fith person I had ever been with. If I had known this was my fate I would have been more of a man whore lol. Just smashing everything that moved lol. Fucking life man... It's a trip

Me too, I would have either stayed a virgin because the sex wasn’t worth it or been a total whore and shagged everything that came my way :giggle:

Edited by Miss Horne

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Happybee

I really hope they find a cure so I can have my life back

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WilsoInAus

No @Newone2 if this all mattered that much to you then you would have requested test results before proceeding.

HSV-1 is an assumed risk in life, one you’ve taken all your life.

And that’s nonsense that you know what uou have, there are no tests for HPV in males and which of HHV 1,2,3,4,5,6a,6b,7 do you have?

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Miss Horne
1 minute ago, Happybee said:

I really hope they find a cure so I can have my life back

Me too, we are running a donations page on the cure thread if you’d like to contribute towards that, no pressure though. 

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