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daisylover223

Starting to Date Again

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daisylover223

Hi everybody, this is my first time ever posting on a forum. I was diagnosed with HSV1 and HSV2 7 years ago. I was a high school senior and my boyfriend at the time gave it to me. I had gotten really sick when I was first diagnosed: fever, swollen glands, chills, etc. My boyfriend had no idea that he had the virus, we continued to date for 6 more years and we recently broke up. At the time I never had to worry about HSV because I was with someone who had the virus but now that we are broken up it is something I worry about all of the time. I had recently started seeing someone about a month ago, and he has no idea that I have herpes. We have had sex 2 times, and I just couldn't tell him about my herpes, the fear of rejection was too high. I ended the relationship because I could not be open and honest with him to tell him about it. I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself and I am constantly worrying I gave it to him. If I could turn back time I would have told him at the very beginning. I feel like the worst human being,

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    • WilsoInAus
      That's exactly right, you can return to your life and get the blood test as a sleep easy in 12 weeks time (from the last episode).
    • Laurenhelena
      Him and his ex have regular breakouts with all the traditional symptoms and I believe he was swabbed.  So I can return to life as it was before all of this drama ? I may still look into a blood test is I am confident it is accurate 
    • WilsoInAus
      @Laurenhelena how is this guy sure he has herpes? All sounding a bit odd to me. Yes it is very unlikely you will develop lesions now. Rubbing skin to skin is required for any feasible transmission chance. The odds of transmission with unprotected vaginal sex are of the order of 0.08% per epsiode. Halve this if a condom is worn. Compare that to chamydia that has about a 33% chance of transmission with unprotected sex; now that's contagious!
    • Laurenhelena
      I just feel that it’s known as such a contagious STD - I’ve been lying to my family cause when I tried to talk about it they became very anxious and begged me to tell them I hadn’t slept with him when I had - If someone told me that they slept with someone with genital herpes my mind would instantly think they had it.  So it’s unlikely then that I’m going to get symptoms now? I’m not going anything further with that guy but we have cuddled and kissed in bed with underwear on, is that ok?  Im quite sure he has hsv2 given that his ex gave it to him through a threesome  I’ve never had a cold sore   
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Laurenhelena i think by your own admission you are letting fear get the better of you. Any flu symptoms (immune toxic shock) happen after the lesions, not before. Remember that most instances of sexual activity do not result in transmission of herpes. In the end it takes one exposure... but how many times has the person received oral sex from someone with HSV-1? or had sex with someone with HSV-2 even if they didn't know it was present? The UK has amongst the lowest incidence of genital HSV-2 in the world! There's a very good chance he has HSV-1. This means much lower transmission chances than you might think and even a chance it is near zero if you have an oral HSV-1 infection yourself!
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