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Loveyour5elf

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Loveyour5elf

I recently ended a 7yr relationship with the man who gave me HSV1, oral and genital areas. I only had my original outbreak but no symptoms since. It was fine when we were together, no issues. However, I want to get out in the dating pool again and I want to know what the protocol is for discussing my status. Obviously, before sex. But what about kissing... when there aren’t any outbreaks?  Can I not have random makeout sessions anymore? Or even a first kiss on a date? What do you suggest?

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WilsoInAus

What testing did you have to confirm HSV-1, have you tested to be able to conclude you do not have HSV-2?

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Loveyour5elf
20 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

What testing did you have to confirm HSV-1, have you tested to be able to conclude you do not have HSV-2?

Confirmed hsv-1. Does that influence the answer for kissing?

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WilsoInAus

I don’t know, how do you know which locations the virus is?

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daisylover223

I am in the same boat as you, I recently got out of a 6 year relationship where my partner gave me the virus. I have had a few dates but I wasn't sure if and when I should discuss my virus with them. 

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Loveyour5elf

Hopefully someone can provide some suggestions!

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WilsoInAus

The first thing to note is that people generally do not disclose HSV-1. Most are comfortable that this is an assumed risk in life and has no role to play in forming a relationship. This is mainly because people have had their oral HSV-1 since childhood and it has generally receded well in their minds and they have observed its commonality in society.

Some people are more informed about transmission possibilities and disclose they have HSV-1. This is either upfront or before genital sex. Many do not disclose HSV-1 before kissing. 

Indeed many people do not disclose any form of herpes until the relationship is more established.

Hence there is no societal standard only your ethical and moral standards you wish to allow for. These allow for all of the following options:

1. Before any physical contact.

2. Before sexual activity involving genitals and the infection region.

3. When the relationship is established, say several months.

4. Never.

There are pros and cons of all of these options, but only 1 will align to your particular circumstances, including the community you live in and your ethical and moral standards.

When I was going, I never disclosed my HSV-1 Infection, furthest from the mind of a teenage boy. My first wife knew early on as I had an outbreak before first kiss even. She was unfazed. During single days for casual partners I would always tell if asked, but didn’t offer typically. For more serious dates it was probably 50/50 as to before kissing but always before oral sex. 

I have never requested disclosure of herpes, sometimes STD panel results though.

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Atrapasueños

Estoy en la misma situación con las diferencia de que tengo muchos síntomas 

_______________________

I am in the same situation with the difference that I have many symptoms

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WilsoInAus
2 hours ago, Atrapasueños said:

Estoy en la misma situación con las diferencia de que tengo muchos síntomas 

_______________________

I am in the same situation with the difference that I have many symptoms

No you are not the same, your symptoms are not related to herpes.

You can do it man, make 2019 the year you get your life back get over that woman and find a new love - we  are all behind you. 

Be the MAN you are destined to be!

Edited by WilsoInAus

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RNY18

Co confused & sad,

Tested positive for 1 & 2 in Nov. 2018, never had an oral OB, that I know of.

I have had genital symptoms twice in 2 years.

Have not been with anyone in 16 months since last relationship.

Dreading "disclosing" to any potential partner. Cant imagine any negative woman willing to take the risk.

Any advice appreciated.

Thanks

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LoganPaten
On 1/23/2019 at 3:12 AM, Loveyour5elf said:

HSV1

It's horrifying 

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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  • Posts

    • IloveCoco
      Omg you crack me up. Being reckless is sleeping with a condom and not having any other sexy foreplay before just in case? This was not a random dude I just met at the bar that night, he had been talking to me for 3 months before.  The lawyer was reckless for not disclosing or taking antivirals or whatever. I trusted him for being so nice to me. 
    • IloveCoco
      How could I have gotten hsv1 on my genitals as a child??? I’ve never had a coldsore either in my life. My body changed after I had sex with that idiot, which sucked  and it’s not pointless to know who did this to you when in some states it’s considered a crime to transmit an std to another person. 
    • sincere40
      Thank.you @Distraught1
    • Morpheo
      its very very very hard to know who gave it to you..my drs told me is pointless. and to come back positive for hsv1 on blood test, its alsaw kind of dumb because most people get it as children, and they dont have any outbreak..so could be the lawyer..or not...
    • blurneworder
      I am in a similar situation. I experience the dizziness every day. I feel fatigued most of my day. I get tiny cuts in the genital area and lips. I get burning/tiny red dots in the genital area. I get tingling sensations in different areas. Valocyclavir did not work for me. I have a tiny, white bump on my lip that crusted over. All tests (no Western Blot) have been negative. Blood work is negative. This all started after I had unprotected sex.   What are your oral outbreaks like?
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