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ILoveCoffee

How long did it take for your first outbreak?

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ILoveCoffee

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months. We live together now. Things didn’t seem right so I went in to get tested for STDs. I was diagnosed with PID. Went back in a few days later, and had the doctor check out a sore that had just came in a day prior. Lots of itching and burning. I was told that is from yeast because of the antibiotics. But the sore... she swabbed it. And was really hinting towards Herpes. 

I haven’t noticed any sores on my boyfriend I ANY part of his body. I have never had sores down there, not even a cold sore. However, remembering something odd about a month prior, the inside of my vagina itched. Like, a deep itch. Next if felt like there was a small sore up in there or a small scratch but nothing too crazy. Tried to look with a mirror but couldn’t see anything. Thought maybe it was a scratch that maybe he caused haha.... So I dismissed it and it went away a couple days later. But I’m thinking that it was an outbreak now.

After the the doctor visit, I went home and did some investigating. If it is herpes, where did I get this from? If from my boyfriend, where did he get it from? The last girl he was with, I found of FB (a fling). I looked at her pictures and throughout different times she’s had cold sores. Even one of her friends had them. Is it possible to get genital herpes from a cold sore?

But if not from my boyfriend then who? Where???? I have not been with a lot of people, I can name 2 in the past 2 years. I’ve reached out to my last ex and he is fine. His girlfriend is fine. No Herpes. Only reason I ask about how long it took for your first outbreak is because I did some reading and apparently it can take years! But I just don’t know who else I could have gotten this from. All signs point to my current boyfriend, which I did in fact get Chlamydia from. Just found out yesterday that the test came back positive. I was tested back in September for Chlamydia and a couple other Stds and those were negative. 

I really don’t know what to do. I have one single sore that isn’t healing. It burns if I get pee on it. It’s uncomfortable to sit. Even to walk. I’ve looked at pictures of herpes and this is DEFINITELY what it is. No doubt in my mind. What I don’t understand is why am I not having a full blown episode? I just don’t get it. 2 sores in the last two months. 

Really need some advice here. I feel lost. And I don’t know where my relationship is going to go. I’m hurt. I don’t know if I can stay or if I need to go :(

I’ll be getting my results in a couple of days. I actually don’t even need a test to tell me I have it but... 

Edited by ILoveCoffee

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WilsoInAus

The first thing is to stop overthinking and running your mind down pathways that simply aren’t real.

Of primary importance is what is happening to you. You have had a swab and this will help you. Herpes outbreaks occur within days of infection, it isn’t all that feasible to go months or more.

No sex until your result is back. Then it may be worthwhile considering mutual testing including HSV such that all cards are on the table you appreciate what is and isn’t a risk.

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    • WilsoInAus
      That's exactly right, you can return to your life and get the blood test as a sleep easy in 12 weeks time (from the last episode).
    • Laurenhelena
      Him and his ex have regular breakouts with all the traditional symptoms and I believe he was swabbed.  So I can return to life as it was before all of this drama ? I may still look into a blood test is I am confident it is accurate 
    • WilsoInAus
      @Laurenhelena how is this guy sure he has herpes? All sounding a bit odd to me. Yes it is very unlikely you will develop lesions now. Rubbing skin to skin is required for any feasible transmission chance. The odds of transmission with unprotected vaginal sex are of the order of 0.08% per epsiode. Halve this if a condom is worn. Compare that to chamydia that has about a 33% chance of transmission with unprotected sex; now that's contagious!
    • Laurenhelena
      I just feel that it’s known as such a contagious STD - I’ve been lying to my family cause when I tried to talk about it they became very anxious and begged me to tell them I hadn’t slept with him when I had - If someone told me that they slept with someone with genital herpes my mind would instantly think they had it.  So it’s unlikely then that I’m going to get symptoms now? I’m not going anything further with that guy but we have cuddled and kissed in bed with underwear on, is that ok?  Im quite sure he has hsv2 given that his ex gave it to him through a threesome  I’ve never had a cold sore   
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Laurenhelena i think by your own admission you are letting fear get the better of you. Any flu symptoms (immune toxic shock) happen after the lesions, not before. Remember that most instances of sexual activity do not result in transmission of herpes. In the end it takes one exposure... but how many times has the person received oral sex from someone with HSV-1? or had sex with someone with HSV-2 even if they didn't know it was present? The UK has amongst the lowest incidence of genital HSV-2 in the world! There's a very good chance he has HSV-1. This means much lower transmission chances than you might think and even a chance it is near zero if you have an oral HSV-1 infection yourself!
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