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Is uncertainty the worst thing?

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Herpes has been ruining my life for five years, and I'm not even 100% sure that I have it yet! I had my first symptoms after oral sex with a guy who had a coldsore - we were both 16 year old virgins and had no idea herpes could be transmitted this way. So: a large lump, burning, itching, leg pain: apparently a clear-cut case. Except that the lump went down after 2 weeks but the pain stayed, and hasn't gone away since, although I have had no further OBs. I was told by the first doctor I saw that herpes can't be transmitted when there are no open sores, so I went on having unprotected sex with my BF. He then came out with these weird symptoms that were more like yeast than herpes: a rash, peeling and no pain. He refused to see a doctor for TWO YEARS, by which time there were no more visible symptoms and he was told it was most likely yeast. Meanwhile, i saw about ten different doctors who all had different opinions: this has to be herpes, this can't be herpes; and who told me a load of BS: for example that you can't catch GH from coldsores. I was prescribed a load of useless and expensive medecine (Zelitrex, zovirax, yeast treatments, herbal treatments... you name it).

It was three years before a slightly more enlightened doctor told me that a blood test existed - about time! It came back negative and I was so relieved, I felt like I was being given a second chance.

I met a new guy and was careful at first only to practise safe sex, as I knew I definately had something (and no, I didn't tell him about it. I know, I know). Except one evening we were really drunk and left off the condoms... and lo and behold, two weeks later he comes out with the same symptoms as my ex. I confessed all (it was the least I could do) and encouraged him to see a doctor. He refused, claiming the whole thing was "in my head" (!) and that the rash was just an ordinary irritation. Talk about denial!

I went to have a second HSV test. This one also came back negative, but the lab tech told me the test was useless as herpes sometimes doesn't produce antibodies (it was a type-specific IGg test).

So basically, I have been suffering from constant pain for five years now, and no-one is capable of telling me what I have.

The thing is, I'm not sure I even want to know. Sure, the pain and not knowing where it's coming from is driving me crazy. But I don't know if I could take knowing the truth, at least this way I still have a little hope. Deep down, I feel that it's herpes though.

I go crazy when I see articles about celebrities like Paris Hilton and Jessica Alba who are rumored to have herpes and comments like "Oh, she's ruined/sullied now, shame 'cos she's hot". This kind of insensitive talk makes me really mad, but at the same time it's the way I feel about myself. I'm nice-looking and I get quite a lot of male attention, but everytime a guy hits on me I think "Hell, if only he knew!".

I was really pleased to find this forum and talk to people who are going through the same thing. Good luck to all of you.

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If the second time you got tested was 2 years after your initial symptoms, i'd say that's a pretty sure negative. And i believe the IgG test is reliable, so if that's what you had both times, you might want to consider looking for other answers. Doctors can be TOTAL morons, but eventually maybe you'll come across one who can help you out. Honestly, to me, it doesn't sound like HSV if both of your exes were getting the same symptoms and you've got constant pain.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Quest
      When I broke out/ shed it usually was on my backside left side, my  upper crack or back right below the belt! Doggy style is my absolute favorite position which makes him very vulnerable! I think there definitely is an advantage to wearing some sexy clothes or latex! Or even the liquid gloves. I think the biggest problem is that people shave now and they nick and cut themselves! That leads them open for infection on any part of the boxer area!  
    • WilsoInAus
      I’d build on this to say that the volume of virus is critical. It has been observed that shedding instances where there are 10^7 virions are required for a pragmatic chance to actually get through the skin and it’s natural defences. Most shedding instances are well below this threshold. I’d also suggest that for many asymptomatic transmissions, most of the virus comes to the surface during the sexual act itself. So little point testing beforehand.
    • floydmonk
      Thank you for sharing that. Very resourceful.
    • Cas9
      I wasn't following the conversation closely, but yes, all that matters in terms of being contagious is if the virus makes it to the skin.
    • yadayadayadayada
      @Cas9 isn't that a "technicality"? From the sound of it this means that on a cellular level there is a daily battle but at the end of the day the virus can't transmit until it is present on the skin... right? I mean the question will still be: how many days is the virus present and transmittable. The mechanism (the technicality) is important but also not important... but I could be wrong, just trying to interpret. 

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