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If its not herpes, than what is it?!

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Hi everyone,

So last February I was affected with what I thought was genital herpes. I was a virgin at the time, but had come in pretty intentse part to part contact with my boyfriend at the time. The next morning I woke up to find sores down there. I freaked out, and called my boyfriend asking him what was wrong! I explained what was going on and he replied, "I gave you herpes!" I was lost and confused. I had never done anything physical with a guy before, and loved the thought of my "purity". I felt completely betrayed by the first guy I had fallen madly in love with, as he never told me that he had herpes.

I went to the doctor, without the financial help of my parents because I was ashamed to tell them. I just went to an Urgent Care doctor, and I went in and told her my boyfriend had given me herpes. She examined me and said thats what it looked like, than put me on a ten day prescription. She asked me if I would like to get tested, and since the test was 200 dollars more, I knew I could not afford it, so since I was pretty sure what it was, I just thought it would be dumb to have an actual test.

Well, I sunk into a silent depression. I had always been that upbeat, cheerful girl who seemed to have the world in her hands. Once I found out I had herpes I just started slipping away...

And than he and I broke up. It was so hard because I felt like no guy would ever want me again. The guy was not good to me, but I felt like I had to marry him because I felt "dirty" or "unwanted".

Than...I met a new guy. A wonderful guy. My dream guy. And two weeks ago, I told him I had herpes. It was a rough adjustment, and lots of ups and downs after I told him. He was scared and unsure, and I was frightened to lose him. His aunt is a well respected doctor, and during my struggle two weeks ago I talked to her. She asked about my case and everything, and she stopped me in my tracks when I told her I had not had an outbreak since. My first outbreak was also very short...and the sores just disappeared. No scabbing or anything like that. She thought it was strange that I hadn't had an outbreak, especially since I had been so extremely stressed because of certain situations going on in my life and also due to the fact that I stopped eating for a month when I was depressed over my previous relationship. She said stress and poor diet especially set off an outbreak. She was not convinced I had herpes, especially when I told her I had not been officially tested, but instead just examined. Plus my boyfriend - who told me he gave it to me - had told me he had never had an outbreak really and that his herpes didn't bother him at all. He had never been tested either. I was always confused at how he knew, but he definitely was not having a breakout when I came into contact with him.

So my now-boyfriend's aunt suggested I get tested. I was sad and depressed still, knowing in my mind what the results would be. And...surprisingly enough...my results came back negative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2! I was so happy but so confused as well. Many think that he lied to me about even having herpes. My ex-boyfriend was very manipulative and mentally abusive and told me after we broke up that the only reason he ever stayed with me is because he had given me herpes. However, several times I had tried to break up with him only to have him freak out and beg for me not to. Either way...my results are negative, and I don't have herpes...but if I don't have herpes, than what was it? Some say maybe it was an allergic reaction to a new soap or shaving cream or was from shaving my genital area.

Does anyone know what it could have been if it was not herpes?! I am extremely relieved that it is not, but now I am confused on what it could have been.

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Its could have been a thousand things, important thing is it wasn't herpes......

I would suggest a full STD blood panel though to make sure you still don't have anything else. There are other STDs though that cause sores though, most of which are curable, so your pretty much in the clear.

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You didn't really describe your "sores." It's highly possible you got really irritated after the friction of being that close. It's possible the rough hair on his legs/whatever rubbed the hair on your legs/thighs/whatever and caused extremely sensitive skin.

It's awful you went through all that depression for what amounts to nothing, but now you know all about HSV and can hopefully avoid getting it! AND you've got the extra knowledge that your current boyfriend would support you through it. Now if only you could get back the time you spent depressed....

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Hi runnergirl.

I'm so sorry you went through all that depression also, but I am THRILLED to hear that you finally got tested and found out you were negative for both!

I have yet to get a definitive diagnosis as both my culture and first blood test came back negative but I have been extremely depressed for the past 2 1/2 months now. It's astounding to me how just the thought of having H can do this to your mind and body. In the meantime, I'm still trying to get an answer.

Sounds like you met the right guy with the right connections. I'm glad he is being so supportive.You're a very lucky girl!

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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  • Posts

    • Quest
      When I broke out/ shed it usually was on my backside left side, my  upper crack or back right below the belt! Doggy style is my absolute favorite position which makes him very vulnerable! I think there definitely is an advantage to wearing some sexy clothes or latex! Or even the liquid gloves. I think the biggest problem is that people shave now and they nick and cut themselves! That leads them open for infection on any part of the boxer area!  
    • WilsoInAus
      I’d build on this to say that the volume of virus is critical. It has been observed that shedding instances where there are 10^7 virions are required for a pragmatic chance to actually get through the skin and it’s natural defences. Most shedding instances are well below this threshold. I’d also suggest that for many asymptomatic transmissions, most of the virus comes to the surface during the sexual act itself. So little point testing beforehand.
    • floydmonk
      Thank you for sharing that. Very resourceful.
    • Cas9
      I wasn't following the conversation closely, but yes, all that matters in terms of being contagious is if the virus makes it to the skin.
    • yadayadayadayada
      @Cas9 isn't that a "technicality"? From the sound of it this means that on a cellular level there is a daily battle but at the end of the day the virus can't transmit until it is present on the skin... right? I mean the question will still be: how many days is the virus present and transmittable. The mechanism (the technicality) is important but also not important... but I could be wrong, just trying to interpret. 

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