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How would you Advise your Herpes-free Friend to act to not get Herpes?

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Rockster

 

How would you Advise your Herpes-free Friend to act to not get Herpes?

Edited by Rockster

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Roja

"stay at home forever and never have contact with other people again" ;-)
Nah, honestly I think it is not about telling them how to not get it, but to tell them that it is something very, very common. I've just read an article about a research today and it said something like herpes is everywhere and you hardly can't avoid catching it. Even though they were not specifically talking about genital herpes of course. 

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blurneworder

I would tell them to cut out one-night stands and random hookups.

Tell them that if someone really wants to sleep with them, they will get tested first to prove that it's safe to have sex. Once it's safe, get wild!

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clarke53

hi i am a male ive had hsv oral 2 i know this place thinks its unlikely to have hsv2 oral but i got it the first time i did what i did i don't have hsv1 so heres a great way to give oral sex to a female and all my partners love it is use a good size peice of plastic wrap ive never passed it to any of my partners ive been doing it for 12 years so it does work because theres no skin to skin contact!!

 

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annoyinglyafflicted

How does your friend know he or she doesn’t have HSV 1 or 2?  I didn’t know I had the virus until I got my first outbreak 4 yrs ago.  Yup, I got a cold sore on my lip and asked my Dr what she thought it was, she said it was herpes.  Me being in disbelief at her response I asked for a blood test, it came back POSITIVE for both types!  I was DEVASTATED for 3 days!  I have never ever EVER had any type of sore nothing on my face or in my nether regions! EVER!  I have since gotten frequent outbreaks on my face from that day forward, luckily never had an outbreak in my nether regions.  Come to find out, HSV is not part of your routine STD testing!  Yup!  You can be cleared of all STDs and STILL have HSV and not have any outward symptoms.  The medical professionals say they removed HSV screening because it’s Sooooo common that the diagnosis is more severe on your mental health than the disease itself.  You have to “request” an IGG blood test that looks for hsv antibodies.  This is how I learned that I have both types at the age of 36.  So, to be sure, if your friend has ever had more than one partner, he or she could still have hsv.  Tell them to ask for the IGG test to be sure, but at any rate, I definitely would cut out the random hook ups and always use a condom like another poster said.  

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Roja
7 hours ago, blurneworder said:

I would tell them to cut out one-night stands and random hookups.

Tell them that if someone really wants to sleep with them, they will get tested first to prove that it's safe to have sex. Once it's safe, get wild!

Yes, I know chances to catch any STD are higher if you are having regular one night stands. But isn't this advice reproducing stigma too? "Only people who have lots of ONS are getting herpes." The typical prejudice I had to fight when I got herpes. One of those things that made me feel bad and disgusting, even if there was no reason for. 

There are so many people in this forum who caught HSV in a (even long-term) relationship. Let's face it: Herpes is EVERYWHERE. As you said: Without testing, no one is safe from not getting it. 

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blurneworder
1 hour ago, Roja said:

Yes, I know chances to catch any STD are higher if you are having regular one night stands. But isn't this advice reproducing stigma too? "Only people who have lots of ONS are getting herpes." The typical prejudice I had to fight when I got herpes. One of those things that made me feel bad and disgusting, even if there was no reason for. 

There are so many people in this forum who caught HSV in a (even long-term) relationship. Let's face it: Herpes is EVERYWHERE. As you said: Without testing, no one is safe from not getting it. 

That is not the way I meant it. 

I know you can get herpes if in a relationship, but I think if more people demanded proof that someone is clean, most of us wouldn’t be in this mess. 

I relied on someone’s word, and they were lying to me. I should have asked they show me documentation.

The only snag is that a lot of people don’t know they aren’t being tested for herpes when they get screened. I sure as heck didn’t know this until coming to this forum.

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Rockster
15 hours ago, clarke53 said:

hi i am a male ive had hsv oral 2 i know this place thinks its unlikely to have hsv2 oral but i got it the first time i did what i did i don't have hsv1 so heres a great way to give oral sex to a female and all my partners love it is use a good size peice of plastic wrap ive never passed it to any of my partners ive been doing it for 12 years so it does work because theres no skin to skin contact!!

 

Cool.

What kind of plastic wrap do you use - a random plastic bag?

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tayelle
On 2/11/2019 at 3:34 AM, blurneworder said:

That is not the way I meant it. 

I know you can get herpes if in a relationship, but I think if more people demanded proof that someone is clean, most of us wouldn’t be in this mess. 

I relied on someone’s word, and they were lying to me. I should have asked they show me documentation.

The only snag is that a lot of people don’t know they aren’t being tested for herpes when they get screened. I sure as heck didn’t know this until coming to this forum.

I was in a relationship and he cheated on me after I got his results. So nothing is foolproof. I'd say don't have sex

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blurneworder
9 hours ago, tayelle said:

I was in a relationship and he cheated on me after I got his results. So nothing is foolproof. I'd say don't have sex

You are correct, nothing is foolproof. 

I’m thinking of situations in which you have control over what is happening.

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  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      @clarke53 without a swab that’s a hugely risky call!
    • clarke53
      ok so you must know 13 years ago i did something ill regret the rest of my like before that night ive never had any kinda sore on my lips and ive never had anything on my genitals ive had tons of blow jobs from women and never gave them anything because i don't have genital herpes so one night i seen a shemale and gave oral 2 days later i had burning on inside of lip and a ulcer there and i don't go a week or so without a outbreak so about a month or so later i was tested for herpes and came back nigitive for hsv 1 and positive for hsv2  to this day ive had blow jobs no condom and ive never gave any girl anything so i know i don't have genital herpes!!  
    • blurneworder
      How long has this happened to you? What was swabbed? Results yet?
    • hobson
      Hi all  i have been to a doctor on 4 seperate occasions since I had unprotected sex with a woman who I later found out has herpes . They have said “it doesn’t look” like herpes . My penis always is red , inflamed anabolic has little red pimples on it.  I am constant uncomfort and pain in my gential areas, tingling , fatigue . None of the drs have done a blood test. I have researched DNA testing as they appear more accurate. I saw a dr this week and he took a swab. It’s always on my mind now because I have just started a relationship and don’t know if I should tell her. I’m scared she will run a mile . I haven’t told her because the dr said I was fine . I don’t know what do to do .  Any advice would be appreciated . I have a history with depression and this is adding to it 
    • WilsoInAus
      @clarke53 why do you think you do not have an asymptomatic genital infection. The mouth sores don’t seem to be herpetic.  What protection do you use genitally?
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