Please please help very concerned

[Guest Anonymous]

At the end of November, I made a HUGE mistake and had unprotected sex with a man other than my fiance. I did not see any sort of bumps on this guy. I did not have sex again until right before christmas and that time it WAS with him, my fiance, and unprotected. A couple days later I started itching so I of course started scratching, and a day later found two blister like bumps. Just red and burned very little to the touch, no puss or anything coming out of them. They did not scab over or anything like that. Within two days they were gone and have not come back. Right after that I felt like i was getting a fever blister on my lip but it never developed. I did not have any other symptoms at all. I am still worried however. At first I immediately thought herpes just being paranoid. Then I thought maybe it was just irritation from scratching or because i had not had sex for a while in between. My fiance is away overseas (he had come home on leave) and has not mentioned any symptoms of his own. If I have it and gave it to him, how long before symptoms should appear on him? I am so confused with all this information and pictures. Even if the blisters are gone, can I still get a blood test just to find out? Should I wait and see if they come back and then seen a doc? I am about to go crazy worrying. If I got it, I have a lot to lose. Can anyone please tell me what they think?

[Harley]

I am in the same situation. I went outside my marriage and had unprotected sex with a girl I trusted. A few days later I had a red pimple on the base of my shaft and a couple days after that I had 3 or 4 very small white dots show up. They never hurt. I never had any pain but just not knowing what they were drove me crazy. I never had any classic symptoms of Herpes such as fluid filled blisters, usually in clusters or any real flu like symptoms. I have gone to 6 docs and they have all told me that I have nothing to worry about but it is still in my head because I have been having muscle pains in my groin area, lower butt and upper rear leg, right arm and thigh area. I know these things could be cause by many different things but it just seems too coincidental to just have these things after sex with this girl. Worst part is I have had unprotected sex with my wife since then. She hasn't complained of anything strange and I have also performed oral sex on her not seeing anything unusual. IF I have given her anything, I could never forgive myself. Its one thing to damage myself, its another to damage someone else. I can't tell you the guilt I have felt over this.

It has been almost 3 months and I am going to schedule a blood test soon. They say 12 weeks after the encounter to let the antibodies build up to the point where they can be detected by the tests. If you look through this forum a little you can find some pretty good links for the different kinds of tests and what they can tell you.

If you don't have, see or feel anything else, I would say your probably alright and don't have Herpes but I would still suggest you get to a clinic, planned parenthood or your gyn ASAP to get it checked out. Peace of mind if nothing else and remember too that if there is enough love in your relationship, Herpes can't kill that and it won't kill you.

Hope this helped ease your mind a little.

[Faith]

Veryworriedsick,

Just like Harley said, if all your symptom is gone now, you're gonna have to wait 12 weeks to get the blood test for herpes. Some people never get visible or perceptible symptom, even if they were exposed to the virus. In that case, only blood test can tell if you have the virus or not. Even if you don't have any symptom, the virus can be still shed and go into someone else's body, by skin to skin contact.

At this point..... there is nothing you can do for knowing the truth ( if you got infected or not, if your fiance got infected or not).

But... for yourself, for your guilt feeling,... there probably is something you can do about.

If I were you, I would tell the truth to fiance, and wouldn't have sex until everything becomes clear. Otherwise... you put him under the risk... without him knowing it....

Please hang in.... And you, too, Harley!!

You can't go back to change what happened already, but there are things you can do now...

How you are now, and how you do things now, can change your future into positive direction, and as a result, you can change the meaning of things in the past.

Please take care....

Faith

[Guest Anonymous]

thank you guys

Thank yall so much for your response. It did ease my mind a little. It hasn't been 12 weeks yet, but I am going to go then or as soon as I get any symptoms (which hopefully I wont). If I stop thinking about it , which is hard to do, then I feel alright. Well, I will let yall know the results. Thanks again!