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hi202020

Newly Diagnosed: Online Dating Questions

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hi202020

Hey guys,
 

I was recently diagnosed with gHSV1. At some point when I re-enter the dating world I will probably explore the HSV positive dating sites like Positive Singles or MpWH. However I do have some concerns:

  1. Because the pool of people on these sites are dating other people with STDs, I am thinking I will need to have every partner take an STD test, including an HSV blood test before I agree to kiss or have sex with them. I am committed to avoiding contracting any additional infections such as oral HSV1 or 2, or any other STD for that matter. What are your guys thoughts and protocol on this?
  2. What are the best online dating sites that you guys would recommend?

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WilsoInAus

The reality is that the absolute vast majority of people with HSV-1 are not on positive singles. The same proportion with be found on other dating sites. Or even at your local club.

It is simply enough to disclose you have HSV-1 and you are either accepted or not. Mutual testing is a good idea, but the reality is that this is often not done until a regilAr checkup comes around or when you move to exclusivity and unprotected sex.

How do you know your HSV-1 is genital?

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hi202020

Hey Wilsoln,

I know because there was a swab that tested positive. 

What makes you say the the vast majority of people with HSV-1 are not on positive singles? This may be true for oral HSV-1, but I'm speaking specifically about gHSV-1. I would assume that a lot of people with gHSV-1 would be interested in finding people in the same situation to avoid disclosing, especially shortly after a diagnosis just like I am. 

I agree with you about what the reality is in terms of people not getting tested before sex, but I am not going to follow the majority as that is exactly what got me gHSV-1. A simple blood test before sex would have most likely alerted me to the HSV1+ transmitter and I would have objected to the sex, and I wouldn't be here. Moving forward in my life I may never kiss another person until seeing a blood test for HSV, along with the other STDs to ensure I'm not piling on more misery for myself. It seems extreme but it's not when you consider what you lose from taking on these life changing STIs. 

 

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WilsoInAus

In a healthy sexual relationship it matters not where HSV-1 is located.

The important issue is that you now have an immune response that prevents further locations being infected. Same for any partner with HSV-1.

 

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hi202020
12 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

In a healthy sexual relationship it matters not where HSV-1 is located.

The important issue is that you now have an immune response that prevents further locations being infected. Same for any partner with HSV-1.

 

Hey Wilsoln, 

I appreciate your input, but I'm not sure I'm following you. Are you just saying that if two people have HSV1 then they will likely not re-infect each other in different places due to the immune response? What about different strains of HSV1? I've heard of other people on this forum talk about getting infected in new places with a slightly different strain HSV1. I'm not sure how accurate that is but it does make sense that there would be more than just 2 strains, and that you could get re-infected. 

Also, any comments on the online dating part of this? Do you have personal experience on Positive Singles or any other online dating site?

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WilsoInAus

Correct, the chances of infecting a new location are negligible when both partners carry the same virus. 

The immune system is equally effective across strains. There is no documented case of a reinfection. It is such a rare event.

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hi202020
20 hours ago, WilsoInAus said:

Correct, the chances of infecting a new location are negligible when both partners carry the same virus. 

The immune system is equally effective across strains. There is no documented case of a reinfection. It is such a rare event.

I see, thanks for the input. 

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