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inner sunlight

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Newone2
On 4/28/2019 at 8:17 PM, Aubrey06 said:

Actually, if you have HSV1 there is research that finds that you may have immunity to HSV2

That is 100% not true. I promise you can still get hsv2 after having a established hsv1 infection.

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blurneworder
10 hours ago, Newone2 said:

That is 100% not true. I promise you can still get hsv2 after having a established hsv1 infection.

Second this.

There are personal stories of this happening to members of this board and others.

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WilsoInAus
10 hours ago, Newone2 said:

That is 100% not true. I promise you can still get hsv2 after having a established hsv1 infection.

It wasn't really inferred that way. Yes you can obtain HSV-2 after having an established HSV-1 infection, I am not sure anyone has suggested otherwise.

The true issue at the heart of @Aubrey06 comment was whether having an established immune response to one type affords protection against the other type.

The evidence is patchy. Most studies show no reduction in the transmission rate, A handful do show a reduction although it is difficult to discern whether it is part of a multiplier effect (for example it may be that circumcised men with HSV-1 have a reduced probability of being infected genitally with HSV-2).

Population statistics show no effect. What I mean by this is:
- Populations with high HSV-1 incidence do not have lower HSV-2 incidence; and
- The proportion of people with HSV-1 who acquire HSV-2 is not different to the proportion of people without HSV-1 that acquire HSV-2.

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inner sunlight
On 4/22/2019 at 7:50 AM, jmherped said:

Look buddy, you could end up in hell, sick as hell.  Its not worth it.  Send your lassie’s details to me, she sounds perfect....

I have HSV1 already...

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inner sunlight
On 4/22/2019 at 7:50 AM, jmherped said:

Look buddy, you could end up in hell, sick as hell.  Its not worth it.  Send your lassie’s details to me, she sounds perfect....

Is genital herpes decidedly more aggressive than oral herpes in its overall impact on the body?

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WilsoInAus
13 minutes ago, inner sunlight said:

Is genital herpes decidedly more aggressive than oral herpes in its overall impact on the body?

I don't think there is much of a comparison to be had. For most people, neither has much impact on the body at all apart from an outbreak of a small lesion every now and again. The rare but more serious manifestations of herpes appear to be caused moreso by HSV-1, perhaps sue to its proximity to the brain.

HSV-1 replicates better better in the trigeminal nerve ganglion, although seems to travel better to other nerves than HSV-2. HSV-2 is better tuned in terms of replication in the sacral nerves.

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Slkxx

With herpes the word is worse than the reality. The stigma around having it is way worse than actually having the virus (for most people), you can see how much stigma there is in pretty much every response to your post. Using anti-virals and condoms rescues risk of transmission to about 1%, so whilst there is a small chance you’ll get the virus it’s quite unlikely. The fact that you’re debating how the likeliness will go up the longer you’re with her shows you believe this could be something long term. If you really believe this then a small chance of you getting the virus shouldn’t stop you. If it’s not something you can get over then be honest and leave her be so she can find somebody that will appreciate her despite contracting a flaw that she didn’t ask for. It’s okay to not want to be with somebody because they have herpes, but please don’t go and tell her that. Having the virus is shit, having to have that conversation with people is shit, but I imagine being rejected because of the virus is devastating. 

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MikeHerp
On 4/20/2019 at 11:55 PM, viralfrog said:

The problem with HSV-2 and Herpes in general is that the symptoms are so indivual-specific.

That's the thing. 

Herpes causes a wide range of symptoms and illnesses.  It can be no symptoms (though, studies have shown that so called "asymptomatic" people still notice some symptoms once they know what to look for), it can be mild symptoms, it can be pretty unpleasant and persistent symptoms (painful, oozing sores, that can make it even hard to walk or painful to urinate).

The place of infection also varies from person to person.  If you're infected in genitals, you will have a different experience than if you have cold sores.  If you have genital herpes and you are aware of it, this will likely affect your sex life (it doesn't have to negate it, but it will affect it). It can also be in other places, like herpes gladiatorum, herpetic whitlow etc. 

Then there are various related illnesses, some of which can be serious, like keratisis (ocular herpes), encephalitis, neonatal herpes, and the substantially increased risk of HIV acquisition.  Encephalitis is super rare.  But not negligible number of people are affected by keratitis, and there are literally tons of HIV cases probably caused by HSV2, particularly in the developing world.

For many people, it's no problem. But for some people, like people with keratisis, or who have been affected by neonatal herpes (about 14,000 babies per year estimated), the effects can be serous or devastating. Herpes can potentially kill a human, even if that is relatively rare. If you google many major diseases and add "herpes", you will find instances where HSV can be a complication of that disease.  Minor but more frequent complications, include stuff like added risk of UTIs.

Anyone who says it doesn't affect them at all, is probably either disingenuous or ignorant.  It does affect you, even if you can't see it.  It's an additional burden on your immune system, and it will strike if you get immune suppression (if you get cancer or diabetes, it can be an unpleasant complication--by the way, many people end up with cancer or diabetes eventually), and even if you have a very mild case, you can still infect others, and they can end up with a more serious version. 

In short, while I commend people who try not to let it affect them, in an ideal world, this is not something that you want to get if you have any choice in it.  

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blurneworder
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, MikeHerp said:

That's the thing. 

Herpes causes a wide range of symptoms and illnesses.  It can be no symptoms (though, studies have shown that so called "asymptomatic" people still notice some symptoms once they know what to look for), it can be mild symptoms, it can be pretty unpleasant and persistent symptoms (painful, oozing sores, that can make it even hard to walk or painful to urinate).

The place of infection also varies from person to person.  If you're infected in genitals, you will have a different experience than if you have cold sores.  If you have genital herpes and you are aware of it, this will likely affect your sex life (it doesn't have to negate it, but it will affect it). It can also be in other places, like herpes gladiatorum, herpetic whitlow etc. 

Then there are various related illnesses, some of which can be serious, like keratisis (ocular herpes), encephalitis, neonatal herpes, and the substantially increased risk of HIV acquisition.  Encephalitis is super rare.  But not negligible number of people are affected by keratitis, and there are literally tons of HIV cases probably caused by HSV2, particularly in the developing world.

For many people, it's no problem. But for some people, like people with keratisis, or who have been affected by neonatal herpes (about 14,000 babies per year estimated), the effects can be serous or devastating. Herpes can potentially kill a human, even if that is relatively rare. If you google many major diseases and add "herpes", you will find instances where HSV can be a complication of that disease.  Minor but more frequent complications, include stuff like added risk of UTIs.

Anyone who says it doesn't affect them at all, is probably either disingenuous or ignorant.  It does affect you, even if you can't see it.  It's an additional burden on your immune system, and it will strike if you get immune suppression (if you get cancer or diabetes, it can be an unpleasant complication--by the way, many people end up with cancer or diabetes eventually), and even if you have a very mild case, you can still infect others, and they can end up with a more serious version. 

In short, while I commend people who try not to let it affect them, in an ideal world, this is not something that you want to get if you have any choice in it.  

I agree 1000% with this.

When I told my ex that I tested positive, she responded with "there is no cure and 2 out of 3 people have it, so why should I worry?"

Edited by blurneworder

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inner sunlight
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Slkxx said:

With herpes the word is worse than the reality. The stigma around having it is way worse than actually having the virus (for most people), you can see how much stigma there is in pretty much every response to your post. Using anti-virals and condoms rescues risk of transmission to about 1%, so whilst there is a small chance you’ll get the virus it’s quite unlikely. The fact that you’re debating how the likeliness will go up the longer you’re with her shows you believe this could be something long term. If you really believe this then a small chance of you getting the virus shouldn’t stop you. If it’s not something you can get over then be honest and leave her be so she can find somebody that will appreciate her despite contracting a flaw that she didn’t ask for. It’s okay to not want to be with somebody because they have herpes, but please don’t go and tell her that. Having the virus is shit, having to have that conversation with people is shit, but I imagine being rejected because of the virus is devastating. 

Thanks for your feedback and thank you to everyone who wrote me back with sincere advice. Just as my partner did not ask for this virus, I did not ask to be put in the position to make such a difficult decision regarding our relationship. In many ways, life is complicated and hard and most people are just trying to do the best we can to take care of ourselves while also treating those around us with love, generosity and understanding.

I already have herpes (hsv1 oral) so I cannot avoid the myriad possible complications of herpes simply by avoiding sex w/ my partner. My questions about the differences between oral and genital herpes were aimed at figuring out what new problems I might be signing up for if I indeed contract hsv2. It's not unreasonable to search out this info.

Anyway, she and I talked at length the other day. I told her how I honestly feel: That I have strong feelings for her. That I want to explore the relationship further. But that due to the risk, I don't want vaginal intercourse until we are in a long term, committed relationship. That that will only come w/ time, etc. She agreed that that was best and told me that that was how she felt as well, that I was basically mirroring her thoughts and feelings. (Granted, people often say things like this that they don't actually feel to maintain a relationship that they fear losing).  I told her about some of my past decisions in relationships and that I wish I had prioritized sex somewhat less than I had. I told her that I want a life partner, a loving and responsible woman w/ whom I can build a life over the long term. I've had plenty of sex in my life. I want sex, but I want more than a sexual relationship. 

We talked about her hsv2: She got really sick when she first contracted it (from her cheating ex). Her symptoms are now very mild. She does not like taking meds, but does so when necessary. If we decide to have regular sex, her taking the meds daily will be a non-negotiable for me.

I don't want genital herpes. I do want the kind of relationship that I hope she can provide. Could I find such a relationship w/ another uninfected woman? Yes, most likely, even though for our, um, demographic online dating and such is significantly more difficult than it is for the general pop.-- but that's a discussion for a different forum. But the fact in front of me is that this woman has genital herpes. It's not realistic to set her up in opposition to a hypothetical perfect woman who doesn't exist. The next woman will have some different kind of baggage (financial irresponsibility and other problems that people bring to relationships are also highly communicable). I want to play this relationship out further, albeit w/out sex for now, and see if she is someone whom I want to commit to and if she wants to commit to me in the ways that matter most.

Edited by inner sunlight

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blurneworder
2 hours ago, inner sunlight said:

Thanks for your feedback and thank you to everyone who wrote me back with sincere advice. Just as my partner did not ask for this virus, I did not ask to be put in the position to make such a difficult decision regarding our relationship. In many ways, life is complicated and hard and most people are just trying to do the best we can to take care of ourselves while also treating those around us with love, generosity and understanding.

I already have herpes (hsv1 oral) so I cannot avoid the myriad possible complications of herpes simply by avoiding sex w/ my partner. My questions about the differences between oral and genital herpes were aimed at figuring out what new problems I might be signing up for if I indeed contract hsv2. It's not unreasonable to search out this info.

Anyway, she and I talked at length the other day. I told her how I honestly feel: That I have strong feelings for her. That I want to explore the relationship further. But that due to the risk, I don't want vaginal intercourse until we are in a long term, committed relationship. That that will only come w/ time, etc. She agreed that that was best and told me that that was how she felt as well, that I was basically mirroring her thoughts and feelings. (Granted, people often say things like this that they don't actually feel to maintain a relationship that they fear losing).  I told her about some of my past decisions in relationships and that I wish I had prioritized sex somewhat less than I had. I told her that I want a life partner, a loving and responsible woman w/ whom I can build a life over the long term. I've had plenty of sex in my life. I want sex, but I want more than a sexual relationship. 

We talked about her hsv2: She got really sick when she first contracted it (from her cheating ex). Her symptoms are now very mild. She does not like taking meds, but does so when necessary. If we decide to have regular sex, her taking the meds daily will be a non-negotiable for me.

I don't want genital herpes. I do want the kind of relationship that I hope she can provide. Could I find such a relationship w/ another uninfected woman? Yes, most likely, even though for our, um, demographic online dating and such is significantly more difficult than it is for the general pop.-- but that's a discussion for a different forum. But the fact in front of me is that this woman has genital herpes. It's not realistic to set her up in opposition to a hypothetical perfect woman who doesn't exist. The next woman will have some different kind of baggage (financial irresponsibility and other problems that people bring to relationships are also highly communicable). I want to play this relationship out further, albeit w/out sex for now, and see if she is someone whom I want to commit to and if she wants to commit to me in the ways that matter most.

What's more important to you in the short time that you have on Earth – finding true love with this specific person who has herpes or finding someone else without the virus that you may love equally or more? 

This decision is tough because there is always that rush of excitment when it comes to potential partners, but is that worth having sores/itching/pain on you genitals/anus?

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Slkxx
5 hours ago, inner sunlight said:

Thanks for your feedback and thank you to everyone who wrote me back with sincere advice. Just as my partner did not ask for this virus, I did not ask to be put in the position to make such a difficult decision regarding our relationship. In many ways, life is complicated and hard and most people are just trying to do the best we can to take care of ourselves while also treating those around us with love, generosity and understanding.

I already have herpes (hsv1 oral) so I cannot avoid the myriad possible complications of herpes simply by avoiding sex w/ my partner. My questions about the differences between oral and genital herpes were aimed at figuring out what new problems I might be signing up for if I indeed contract hsv2. It's not unreasonable to search out this info.

Anyway, she and I talked at length the other day. I told her how I honestly feel: That I have strong feelings for her. That I want to explore the relationship further. But that due to the risk, I don't want vaginal intercourse until we are in a long term, committed relationship. That that will only come w/ time, etc. She agreed that that was best and told me that that was how she felt as well, that I was basically mirroring her thoughts and feelings. (Granted, people often say things like this that they don't actually feel to maintain a relationship that they fear losing).  I told her about some of my past decisions in relationships and that I wish I had prioritized sex somewhat less than I had. I told her that I want a life partner, a loving and responsible woman w/ whom I can build a life over the long term. I've had plenty of sex in my life. I want sex, but I want more than a sexual relationship. 

We talked about her hsv2: She got really sick when she first contracted it (from her cheating ex). Her symptoms are now very mild. She does not like taking meds, but does so when necessary. If we decide to have regular sex, her taking the meds daily will be a non-negotiable for me.

I don't want genital herpes. I do want the kind of relationship that I hope she can provide. Could I find such a relationship w/ another uninfected woman? Yes, most likely, even though for our, um, demographic online dating and such is significantly more difficult than it is for the general pop.-- but that's a discussion for a different forum. But the fact in front of me is that this woman has genital herpes. It's not realistic to set her up in opposition to a hypothetical perfect woman who doesn't exist. The next woman will have some different kind of baggage (financial irresponsibility and other problems that people bring to relationships are also highly communicable). I want to play this relationship out further, albeit w/out sex for now, and see if she is someone whom I want to commit to and if she wants to commit to me in the ways that matter most.

Hope it works out for you both either way :)

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