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Told him and ob free months later he says he's got something on his lip

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So I told my boyfriend months ago that I have HSV2 and he was fine with

it and since I never have OB's we never use condoms. He's fully aware of the consequences but we NEVER have talking about H since I told him. It's been a non touch subject. I thought everything was great, no OB's, him neither and the sex is great. We just recently started oral sex, which he only went down on me 2-3 times. I have not had an OB since the stress of haveing to tell him. But now he calls me tonight and tells me he has something on his lip, and of course I say, oh it's because of the cold, or chapped lips, and he's like, "no, i think it's something else" I freaked out inside! He couldn't really tell, but as soon as I got off the phone I balled my eyes out. I'm really upset and I have plans with him tomorrow and I don't even want to see him. I rather die than confront this subject again. I can't handle it. We are always talking about marriage and we love eachother soooo much, but as soon as he said that I wanted to hang up and never talk to him again(which wouldn't of lasted more than an hour) I love him but I can't face this. I don't understand, I don't have ob's :( Now I want to make an excuse not to see him tomorrow. how will our sex life ever be the same? OMG please help me I am freaking out :( :(:(

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You say you love this guy that much that you have talked about marrige, yet you can't talk with each other about a cold sore? Sounds like there are bigger issues than him having chapped lips, you need to work on his acceptance if it turns out he hasnt got it.

And if he has got it? Then what? You were both aware of the consequences.

You say you havn't had an ob for months. He could have caught it through asyptomatic shedding (if you wasn't aware of that already then look it up!).

Also, I might be wrong here, but on another support site it is going around that you cannot catch hsv 2 orally? Which, if it is the case, means that he did not catch hsv off you (unless you have hsv-1 genitally?)

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I have to agree CALM DOWN. I was a little freaked when I thought my bf might of gotten it down there. But it wasn't the case. But it comes down to the you were both aware of everything. So if he does OH WELL. Life will go on. If you love and care for each other enough to talk about marriage then this should be nothing.

Let him know you are sorry if he does but just don't kiss him till it goes away.

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I think your sex life may now be better

You two have already reached a great understanding of each other. Having HSV2 isnt an easy thing physically nor emotionally. He knew what he was risking, and oral puts you in a higher risk- you have a high chance with just normal sex, and then adding oral just increases your already high chance. He will need you to be there for him, like you needed whoever you told at the begining. If anything, this may put you on a higher level of connectedness (i know its not a word). Somethings happen for a reason, even tho they seem bad at the time. Me for instance, had I not got HSV I would still be sleeping around with whoever amounted up in bed, waking up drunk at random apartments.

So just remember, you've already overcome the obstical, he knew what he was risking, and now he'll need your support. If you intended on marriage, it would most likely have happened at some point.

Good luck!

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Quest
      When I broke out/ shed it usually was on my backside left side, my  upper crack or back right below the belt! Doggy style is my absolute favorite position which makes him very vulnerable! I think there definitely is an advantage to wearing some sexy clothes or latex! Or even the liquid gloves. I think the biggest problem is that people shave now and they nick and cut themselves! That leads them open for infection on any part of the boxer area!  
    • WilsoInAus
      I’d build on this to say that the volume of virus is critical. It has been observed that shedding instances where there are 10^7 virions are required for a pragmatic chance to actually get through the skin and it’s natural defences. Most shedding instances are well below this threshold. I’d also suggest that for many asymptomatic transmissions, most of the virus comes to the surface during the sexual act itself. So little point testing beforehand.
    • floydmonk
      Thank you for sharing that. Very resourceful.
    • Cas9
      I wasn't following the conversation closely, but yes, all that matters in terms of being contagious is if the virus makes it to the skin.
    • yadayadayadayada
      @Cas9 isn't that a "technicality"? From the sound of it this means that on a cellular level there is a daily battle but at the end of the day the virus can't transmit until it is present on the skin... right? I mean the question will still be: how many days is the virus present and transmittable. The mechanism (the technicality) is important but also not important... but I could be wrong, just trying to interpret. 

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