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Nicki0605

The Herpederps suck! Amiright?!

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Nicki0605

Hey, new here. 26 living in NYC 

found out I have type HSV2 about 4 months ago and I’ve tried moving on with my life as normal. I’ve tried to not date but I get approached by men often. The fascination and interest is at an all time high until I’m like, “haha.. but wait there’s more” 👉🏾😎👉🏾 And then they’re like, “bye bish” and im like. Ight damn. 

But in all seriousness I am naturally an emotional person so I’m constantly back and forth on wanting to just end it all. I’m sure some of you can relate, I know I’m not special. It just sucks. I hope I can find some support on here maybe? With people that are going through what I’m going through. 

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WilsoInAus

Hey @Nicki0605 and welcome to the website. It sure can be tough, but plenty of light at the end of the tunnel.

How did you find out you had HSV-2? Does that make sense to you?

Would you consider dating a guy with HSV-2?

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Nicki0605

I had an outbreak and the day after I went to the clinic. I was dating this guy I trusted. I think he knew he had it but didn’t want to come to terms with it. I’m not mad at him though, I can’t control that part you know?

And it makes sense, my OBs are so subtle so it’s hard to know when I actually have one. 

And yeah, I guess. Why not lol I mean I have it too.

Why not hot potato the herpederps lol jkjk. 

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ayekayelle

Hey girl! I just tested positive too...kinda sucks. I'm married, but before finding out about this I was considering divorce. Now that I have this, I think "shit, am I stuck with him?" and I think how could I ever date somebody again? How do you bring it up to somebody that you have herpes? I don't know...I understand where you're coming from with all this, it sucks! The more I read about how common/normal it is, the better I feel about it, but obviously people that don't have herpes think it's gross I'm sure.

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Nicki0605

Ikr! I’ll have guys be like “oh yeah you’re right, you’re not gross or less valuable but it is a deal breaker” I don’t really blame them (because I am still coming to terms with it being “not a big deal”) 

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Nicki0605

And btw  @ayekayelle I’m sorry you’re considering divorce. I hope you are able to work it out with him. But if you’re not happy I think it’s worth taking the risk of leaving! You deserve to be happy!

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Blackout123

I hate that other people feel like this but at the same time reading what you all said makes me feel less alone. Thank you for that. I go back and forth with how I feel but right now I’m stuck in a place where I feel gross and think no one other than my current partner could ever want me, which is sad and scary. 

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Nicki0605
20 minutes ago, Blackout123 said:

I hate that other people feel like this but at the same time reading what you all said makes me feel less alone. Thank you for that. I go back and forth with how I feel but right now I’m stuck in a place where I feel gross and think no one other than my current partner could ever want me, which is sad and scary. 

Trust me hun I feel the same way. I’m at the end of someone not being honest enough to say they’re not comfortable with continuing to purse me. Some people are rude, thoughtless, and inconsiderate. But you gotta have hope that there are people out there that don’t get all bent outta shape about a skin condition. 

And the fact that you’ve met someone like that shows that you can in the future! It may just take time.  

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Blackout123
6 minutes ago, Nicki0605 said:

Trust me hun I feel the same way. I’m at the end of someone not being honest enough to say they’re not comfortable with continuing to purse me. Some people are rude, thoughtless, and inconsiderate. But you gotta have hope that there are people out there that don’t get all bent outta shape about a skin condition. 

And the fact that you’ve met someone like that shows that you can in the future! It may just take time.  

I’m sorry you had to go through that. My current partner passed the virus to me so my biggest fear is having to disclose to someone else if this doesn’t work out. I just wish there was less of a social stigma around this so people would be kinder about it because like you said it’s just a skin condition at the end of the day. 

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Nicki0605

@Blackout123 oh right yeah. I’m sorry. And yes I feel your pain. 😔 

some days will be harder than others is what I’m noticing. We just gotta keep pushing through and hang on the the moments that brings us joy and fulfillment. 

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endthestigma

It is really tough.. I am too constantly going back and forth on feeling disgusting, and feeling like my intimate life is over compared to before where I felt I could be free.

I got back with my boyfriend before I knew I was diagnosed with it, and I told him he took it surprisingly well and said that he wants all of me no matter what but he doesn't seem to take it very seriously- because he tries to do oral on me but I haven't allowed him because I would hate myself if he got oral herpres from me. When I told him he acted like it's unlikely that I have it even though I have told him that I do; I worry he will end up leaving me because of it.

I tried to explain to him that herpes can remain dormant for a long time, before a person knows they have it. IT ALL JUST SUCKS. I often think of just ending it all as well. If it wasn't for my bestfriend I don't know how I would have gotten through my initial diagnosis.

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Nicki0605

@endthestigma

man. That’s rough. I know I’ve felt the same feelings. Well I’m here for anyone that needs a lending ear! ❤️❤️❤️

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endthestigma

You're so sweet. I honestly have felt like a huge outsider. I find myself thinking about it every day, and some days are definitely easier than others. 

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Nicki0605

@endthestigma honestly I’ve never felt so alone. Wishing how to handle all of this. But you know what, we are here for each other. And I believe thats the best sense of consistency since my life took a tumble from this condition 🤣

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