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RebeccaJ

Positive singles

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RebeccaJ

Has anyone has any good experiences from positive singles? I'm scared to go on there  because I don't want my full name and picture on there (ashamed) but I really can't see myself dating anyone who doesn't have HSV and having to disclose. The disclosing chat scares the shit out of me. Can anyone help? Is everyone on positive singles OLD? I'm 19 :sob::cry:

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Lost-hope

Positive singles is hit or miss depending on where you live.. the bigger the city the more chances you will have. Not many options other wise.

and you don’t have to share your name or put a pic up either but then you are narrowing down your options of getting a message unless you have a great  description of urself and a interesting profile. 

Mans the real big negative is you have to pay 30$ a month in order to send messages unless someone messages you first 

but if you willing to put in the effort it’s possible to meet someone off there 

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Tired of waiting

I checked it out and stopped when it was required of me to provide a photo of myself holding a sign that said Positive(for HSV).  Talk about a scarlet  letter! 

I kind of understand the need to verify that their  people are real, but just as I do not trust facebook to keep my information confidential, I certainly do not trust a dating site like this to likewise keep my information private, much less sell it to other sites that do personal background checks, that my impact my future employment or worse. 

To your other question, I would guess from your perspective most of the applicants will be much older than you, sorry about that!

Edited by Tired of waiting

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RebeccaJ

A picture of yourself holding a sign? Nooooooooo! No way will I be going on there lol! Fuck sake, i feel like im running out of options in hopes of finding love!

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Tired of waiting

Not to dismiss your valid concerns, you are still young enough to be benefitting from a cure trough gene editing or a Vaccine for you and future partners. Something on the order os 10-12 years is most likely time frame. I know it seems like an eternity for you at this point, but it will go by faster than you think! in the mean time focus on your self (Health, education, carreer ) , don't reject relationships but be prepared for some bitter setbacks on the way, just like other non HSV folks have with their lives.  

Good luck, best to you!

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RebeccaJ
17 minutes ago, Tired of waiting said:

Not to dismiss your valid concerns, you are still young enough to be benefitting from a cure trough gene editing or a Vaccine for you and future partners. Something on the order os 10-12 years is most likely time frame. I know it seems like an eternity for you at this point, but it will go by faster than you think! in the mean time focus on your self (Health, education, carreer ) , don't reject relationships but be prepared for some bitter setbacks on the way, just like other non HSV folks have with their lives.  

Good luck, best to you!

Do you really think there will be a vaccine though? I mean, they've been trying to cure this virus for soooo long. It seems like it would take at least 20 years for a cure if not there may never be a cure. Do you have hsv? If yes, how long for and how do you go about disclosing? 

I love music so I keep telling myself I'm just going to write songs about how sad I feel haha but I can't do that forever! 

Thankyou so much for your reply!

 

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RebeccaJ
4 hours ago, Lost-hope said:

Positive singles is hit or miss depending on where you live.. the bigger the city the more chances you will have. Not many options other wise.

and you don’t have to share your name or put a pic up either but then you are narrowing down your options of getting a message unless you have a great  description of urself and a interesting profile. 

Mans the real big negative is you have to pay 30$ a month in order to send messages unless someone messages you first 

but if you willing to put in the effort it’s possible to meet someone off there 

I keep going back and forth about going on there. £30 a month? Well that's just shit isn't it😂 

Are you on positive singles? I just dunmo if it's a good idea. I've also thought about joining a Facebook support group but they're all private so I would have to request to join ...

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Tired of waiting

 

Yes, I do believe there will be a cure developed either Vaccine and or Gene editing. Yes there has been a lot of setbacks and some dithering (IMO) on efforts and ideas to develop a vaccine. But in the last 3-4 years there has been a significant  developments and positive results on both fronts. please check out the threads under the vaccine and cure section specifically look at the results of  the Fred Hutch cancer research center, more specifically Keith Jerome's amazing results of editing out HSV from Mice nerve ganglions.

 

and to Besty Herold of the Eisnstein College and the resulting company https://x-vax.com/ that has Human trials roadmapped for 2021.

 To your other question yes Im HSV positive, and how do I handle disclosure ..... I don't.  What I mean by that is, I have chosen to be celibate.  Not that I have not wanted to have a relationship and to disclose. I just found it impossible to find a person that did not have more baggage from their life (non HSV ) than I was willing to put up with, I could not imagine that adding a disclosure on top of that would have help'd me much. So, I focused on work, school and other things, maybe it was cowardice on my part for not trying more.

something I'm trying to address now as I have taken a sabbatical from working for six month. so maybe you could give me some advice when you get to that point.

Edited by Tired of waiting

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Lost-hope
19 minutes ago, RebeccaJ said:

I keep going back and forth about going on there. £30 a month? Well that's just shit isn't it😂 

Are you on positive singles? I just dunmo if it's a good idea. I've also thought about joining a Facebook support group but they're all private so I would have to request to join ...

I made a profile just to take a look and see what the site was about and how the dating pool looked in my city.. It didn’t ask me for a picture as I left it blank . 

But as the other poster stated I don’t feel comfortable putting my CC information on there to pay as I seen they have been known to share ur information.

but I read on other post after the first month it’s not worth it because the options are limited once you search ur location unless you look far and wide

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RebeccaJ
3 minutes ago, Lost-hope said:

I made a profile just to take a look and see what the site was about and how the dating pool looked in my city.. It didn’t ask me for a picture as I left it blank . 

But as the other poster stated I don’t feel comfortable putting my CC information on there to pay as I seen they have been known to share ur information.

but I read on other post after the first month it’s not worth it because the options are limited once you search ur location unless you look far and wide

Oh I'm not even going to bother with it then! Have you dated anyone since being diagnosed? 

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RebeccaJ
21 minutes ago, Tired of waiting said:

 

Yes, I do believe there will be a cure developed either Vaccine and or Gene editing. Yes there has been a lot of setbacks and some dithering (IMO) on efforts and ideas to develop a vaccine. But in the last 3-4 years there has been a significant  developments and positive results on both fronts. please check out the threads under the vaccine and cure section specifically look at the results of  the Fred Hutch cancer research center, more specifically Keith Jerome's amazing results of editing out HSV from Mice nerve ganglions.

 

and to Besty Herold of the Eisnstein College and the resulting company https://x-vax.com/ that has Human trials roadmapped for 2021.

 To your other question yes Im HSV positive, and how do I handle disclosure ..... I don't.  What I mean by that is, I have chosen to be celibate.  Not that I have not wanted to have a relationship and to disclose. I just found it impossible to find a person that did not have more baggage from their life (non HSV ) than I was willing to put up with, I could not imagine that adding a disclosure on top of that would have help'd me much. So, I focused on work, school and other things, maybe it was cowardice on my part for not trying more.

something I'm trying to address now as I have taken a sabbatical from working for six month. so maybe you could give me some advice when you get to that point.

Oh yeah I have actually watched both of those videos. Although I don't really understand what they're talking about in half of them😂 It shows a little bit of promise though I suppose. 

I keep thinking a barrier gel or cream which prevents spread of skin to skin stds would be a better investment for the time being before a cure is found! I don't know why one hasn't already been invented!

im sorry to hear that youre celibate, unless that makes you happy? I think naturally we all long for love and sex and so this virus makes us go against all our natural instincts which is crazy. I will keep you posted about disclosures and dating life but after being diagnosed only 3 months ago I reckon I'll be waiting at least a year to have sex (that's when the most shedding happens I've read).

how long have you had the virus? 

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Tired of waiting
4 minutes ago, RebeccaJ said:

I keep thinking a barrier gel or cream which prevents spread of skin to skin stds would be a better investment for the time being before a cure is found! I don't know why one hasn't already been invented!

im sorry to hear that youre celibate, unless that makes you happy? I think naturally we all long for love and sex and so this virus makes us go against all our natural instincts which is crazy. I will keep you posted about disclosures and dating life but after being diagnosed only 3 months ago I reckon I'll be waiting at least a year to have sex (that's when the most shedding happens I've read).

how long have you had the virus? 

There is a cream that has been developed, I think there is thread on this site for it, I believe amazon may sell it, I think they ran in to a problem with testing so they are not able to actually state is  a protective barrier, but seems to have of the necessary components to provide protection. 

No, I'm not happy being Celibate, pretty pissed about it most of the time when not busy with work or other activities.  Running and gym workout  also help to burn some the anger out.  

your outbreaks will diminish over time as your immune system learns to battle it. I have not had an outbreak in over 10 years, but I still get the prodrome tingles ever few months.

How long have I had it? ...I'm embarrassed to say longer than you have been around. I think am coming up on my 27th anniversary... which reminds me I'm out of Jameson!

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Lost-hope
1 hour ago, RebeccaJ said:

Oh I'm not even going to bother with it then! Have you dated anyone since being diagnosed? 

I’ve disclosed successfully twice 

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Freedom_Realized
On 5/13/2019 at 1:52 PM, RebeccaJ said:

A picture of yourself holding a sign? Nooooooooo! No way will I be going on there lol! Fuck sake, i feel like im running out of options in hopes of finding love!

That's not true.

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Freedom_Realized

I would try it.  I am on it and am having some meaningful conversations.  I would even consider meeting some of them in person.

I don't even have a photo of myself.  It's all about what and how you write.  Just like any other dating website.  And, to all the men who have been messaging me without my photo?  Now, that's substance.  I'm older so I am talking to men who may be more mature than a 19 yo boy. 

I even reached out to a female on there, because I really liked what she wrote on her profile.  Just have fun with it.  But, don't expect it to "save" you.  You still have to put in the work elsewhere to get through this and thrive with it.  Good luck!

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RNY18

I am eventually going to try Positive Singles, despite some of the bad press I read about it.  I haven’t dated or pursued a relationship since being diagnosed and it’s getting more and more depressing.

I think , somehow, that it is easier for  HSV + women to find partners than it is for positive men.

Given the circumstances, I also have trepidation about having a sexual relationship with a woman who is positive for fear of acquiring an additional infection .

Opinions ?

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alextheman

Well this does give you more time to pursue other things in life.When you take sex out,you get a whole bunch of time back.

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Freedom_Realized
On 8/10/2019 at 3:44 PM, RNY18 said:

I am eventually going to try Positive Singles, despite some of the bad press I read about it.  I haven’t dated or pursued a relationship since being diagnosed and it’s getting more and more depressing.

I think , somehow, that it is easier for  HSV + women to find partners than it is for positive men.

Given the circumstances, I also have trepidation about having a sexual relationship with a woman who is positive for fear of acquiring an additional infection .

Opinions ?

Well, the whole point of all this is to learn from your mistakes.  If you didn't ask your giver to get tested (because you assumed they actually cared about their sexual health and tested enough times esp. if they were having casual sex), don't you think you should be asking any potential partners to get tested again before you have sex with them?  It's not just about the other person getting tested.  It's about you getting tested too so you can build a trusting sexual relationship.  Geezus.

I joined again recently and got this random message from someone who wasn't even interested in starting anything but was warning me of PS members lying abut their status.  He was warning me about people saying they "only" had H when they might even have Hep C, HIV, Syphillis, etc.

So, if you want to expect different results by doing the same thing, go ahead.  Einstein called that insanity.

I am actually very grateful for the quality men I'm meeting on there.  I don't even have to put a photo of myself for my public album.  When I get to know them and get a good vibe, I share my private album.  The ones who need to see a photo of me first aren't what I'm looking for, anyways.

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Freedom_Realized
On 8/18/2019 at 8:32 PM, RNY18 said:

That's even more depressing....

 

 

 

How is that depressing?  Are you like a superfit genius already?  How about you work on your personality, hobbies, interests, education, knowledge, giving back to your community, volunteering, etc.?  

Aren't you worth more than what you think your dick/sexuality is to women?

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iFdUp
On 8/21/2019 at 1:33 AM, Freedom_Realized said:

How is that depressing?  Are you like a superfit genius already?  How about you work on your personality, hobbies, interests, education, knowledge, giving back to your community, volunteering, etc.?  

Aren't you worth more than what you think your dick/sexuality is to women?

You need to take a step back and understand that from about the age of 14-40 the average man literally can't not think about sex a handful of times a day. It is biologically part of the role of testosterone. 

I am real sick of men getting told off for being men. Our self worth is in fact based in large part on "dick/sexuality is to women", assuming that means our sex appeal to whom we desire. 

It's fucking awful. 

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Freedom_Realized

I see your point, but it just seems like one shouldn't hold so much "value" in what they can offer only sexually.  I've met enough men with big penises who lacked character/personality/intelligence.  Mimbos.  Like, that's all they thought they needed to get through their dating life.  How basic.

And, maybe that's when one can consider honing in on their skills in other areas of foreplay. 

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