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Juda Lupo

Someone I want to commit to has herpes

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Juda Lupo

Hello, everyone. This being my first post, I'd like some help with a few questions I'm having trouble finding a firm answer to. 

A month ago I began talking to a woman I've been attracted to for quite a bit. Before that time, we would speak occasionally, but now the more I spend time with her, the more I see how much chemistry and how much in common we have, and of course now I find myself really wanting a little more than just a fling. A few days ago, she disclosed that she had contracted herpes from her ex-boyfriend six years ago and wanted to tell me before we got any further. While it threw me back a bit, it didn't change how I felt about her. In fact, I felt more closer to her because of her honesty and how much courage it took for her to tell me. When I told her that I would like to continue developing a potential relationship, she was happy to agree.

I told her we can abstain from sex for the moment so we can get as much information since I don't have herpes, and that when she's comfortable enough to have sex, then we will on her time.

I did a lot of reading online since, and I got some information that helped put some light on things I didn't even know about. What I'd like to know is the result of, say, accidental exposure.

  • What I mean is, say we do have sex (and we plan on practicing safe sex), but what if the condom breaks?
  • What if I don't see this until after the act of sex?
  • What if we drink too much one night and unintentionally find ourselves having unprotected sex?
  • What if (and I'm only asking this because I don't want to rule anything out) later in the future we want to have a child together?

I personally don't find myself paranoid in this situation. However, she does. She pointed out multiple times that she would feel guilty if I contracted herpes from her, which is why I suggested to her we wait until we have more information that she'd feel comfortable with.

I don't want intimacy completely out of the picture with her. I connect with her more than I thought possible, and I don't want her thinking anymore that she and I can't have a healthy relationship because she feels she's "damaged goods", which isn't true at all. Any help would greatly appreciated in this. 

 

 

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Sanguine108

Yeah, I think it's noble of her that she wants to protect you.

It's hard to tell, man.  Everyone's karma is different.   I know couple where 1 has hsv and doesn't/hasn't given it to their partner.   They have kids, it's all good.   I have a friend, 21, hsv2, 2-3 years after contracting hsv2, she gets w this guy and she's pregnant again with her 2nd child.

Obviously not wearing protection.   Don't remember if she took meds all the time.  either way, there's plenty of ppl out there that make it work and the world keeps on turning.

 

The biggest thing to understand is the risk.   There is a risk, so if she's worth it, the honeymoon phase has died down and y'all still strong then why not.   But it's up to you if you want to wager that risk.       Everyone's karma is different and we oughta lift each other up more than drag down.

I'm celibate.  I've encountered multiple women that I've disclosed to and they're all trying to figure out how we can make it work.   My roommate now, or domestic partner, she's great.  We have a really tight relationship, she respects my boundaries and we're growing all the time together.  I'm grateful.   ...And she has talked about sexual stuff and the possibility of making things work.... and I've pondered it for a moment and feel like I care about her too much for a little physical thing.

Anyhow, you could always try a celibate relationship if you never have before. ;) 

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WilsoInAus

Hang on @Sanguine108 let’s be honest here. You are a known troll in this forum who by your own admission tests negative for HSV-1. You deleted all those posts and conjured up a positive HSV-1 test.

However if you do have herpes, then it’s oral HSV-1. Most women already have HSV-1 so to be celibate on account of herpes is your choice. It has nothing to do with herpes statuses. There is nothing there women have to figure out. 

Lets keep it real! It’s 2019!

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dont quit!17

"Clinically symptomatic HSV-2 infection developed in 4 of 743 susceptible partners who were given valacyclovir, as compared with 16 of 741 who were given placebo (hazard ratio, 0.25; 95 percent confidence interval, 0.08 to 0.75; P=0.008). Overall, acquisition of HSV-2 was observed in 14 of the susceptible partners who received valacyclovir (1.9 percent), as compared with 27 (3.6 percent) who received placebo (hazard ratio, 0.52; 95 percent confidence interval, 0.27 to 0.99; P=0.04). HSV DNA was detected in samples of genital secretions on 2.9 percent of the days among the HSV-2–infected (source) partners who received valacyclovir, as compared with 10.8 percent of the days among those who received placebo (P<0.001). The mean rates of recurrence were 0.11 per month and 0.40 per month, respectively (P<0.001).

CONCLUSIONS
Once-daily suppressive therapy with valacyclovir significantly reduces the risk of transmission of genital herpes among heterosexual, HSV-2–discordant couples."

https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa035144

If she gets on Valtrex and you wear condoms and abstain from sex during outbreaks then there is a very low risk. Also, if you happen to contract herpes, then you would have very minimal seeding of your neurons due to her taking valtrex medications. I believe on average, people shed about 16% of the time. 

Also, you would actually have a bigger chance of catching an STD from a fling who doesn't know of their status. So at the very minimum, she respects you enough to tell you, because many people don't. Take your time and think about it. Furthermore, there is a specific drug named Pritelivir that is on the horizon that works twice as well as Valtrex

Good luck, I usually don't answer these type of questions, but above responses were not very informative. 

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blurneworder
13 hours ago, dont quit!17 said:

"Clinically symptomatic HSV-2 infection developed in 4 of 743 susceptible partners who were given valacyclovir, as compared with 16 of 741 who were given placebo (hazard ratio, 0.25; 95 percent confidence interval, 0.08 to 0.75; P=0.008). Overall, acquisition of HSV-2 was observed in 14 of the susceptible partners who received valacyclovir (1.9 percent), as compared with 27 (3.6 percent) who received placebo (hazard ratio, 0.52; 95 percent confidence interval, 0.27 to 0.99; P=0.04). HSV DNA was detected in samples of genital secretions on 2.9 percent of the days among the HSV-2–infected (source) partners who received valacyclovir, as compared with 10.8 percent of the days among those who received placebo (P<0.001). The mean rates of recurrence were 0.11 per month and 0.40 per month, respectively (P<0.001).

CONCLUSIONS
Once-daily suppressive therapy with valacyclovir significantly reduces the risk of transmission of genital herpes among heterosexual, HSV-2–discordant couples."

https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa035144

If she gets on Valtrex and you wear condoms and abstain from sex during outbreaks then there is a very low risk. Also, if you happen to contract herpes, then you would have very minimal seeding of your neurons due to her taking valtrex medications. I believe on average, people shed about 16% of the time. 

Also, you would actually have a bigger chance of catching an STD from a fling who doesn't know of their status. So at the very minimum, she respects you enough to tell you, because many people don't. Take your time and think about it. Furthermore, there is a specific drug named Pritelivir that is on the horizon that works twice as well as Valtrex

Good luck, I usually don't answer these type of questions, but above responses were not very informative. 

Thank you for being helpful and not an idiot like Wilson.

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WilsoInAus
25 minutes ago, blurneworder said:

Thank you for being helpful and not an idiot like Wilson.

He was referring to the hijacking by @Sanguine108 you got the wrong idiot :)

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morty1234

How long a couple can practice safe sex?

Imagine you catch it and then she loose interest for you or you loose interest for her, do you think women will be interested by you with herpes? Most guys here will tell you that except single mum, fat belly and 40+ are ok which means only low quality girls for a young man.

Chemistry? You think she is the one, but maybe her herpes push her to be sweet with you. So in fact you dont really know her.  Maybe she is desesperate ?

Did you read that some people suffering from chronic nerves pain and dont find any relief like me?

Good luck

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Newone2
On 5/19/2019 at 4:33 AM, Juda Lupo said:

Hello, everyone. This being my first post, I'd like some help with a few questions I'm having trouble finding a firm answer to. 

A month ago I began talking to a woman I've been attracted to for quite a bit. Before that time, we would speak occasionally, but now the more I spend time with her, the more I see how much chemistry and how much in common we have, and of course now I find myself really wanting a little more than just a fling. A few days ago, she disclosed that she had contracted herpes from her ex-boyfriend six years ago and wanted to tell me before we got any further. While it threw me back a bit, it didn't change how I felt about her. In fact, I felt more closer to her because of her honesty and how much courage it took for her to tell me. When I told her that I would like to continue developing a potential relationship, she was happy to agree.

I told her we can abstain from sex for the moment so we can get as much information since I don't have herpes, and that when she's comfortable enough to have sex, then we will on her time.

I did a lot of reading online since, and I got some information that helped put some light on things I didn't even know about. What I'd like to know is the result of, say, accidental exposure.

  • What I mean is, say we do have sex (and we plan on practicing safe sex), but what if the condom breaks?
  • What if I don't see this until after the act of sex?
  • What if we drink too much one night and unintentionally find ourselves having unprotected sex?
  • What if (and I'm only asking this because I don't want to rule anything out) later in the future we want to have a child together?

I personally don't find myself paranoid in this situation. However, she does. She pointed out multiple times that she would feel guilty if I contracted herpes from her, which is why I suggested to her we wait until we have more information that she'd feel comfortable with.

I don't want intimacy completely out of the picture with her. I connect with her more than I thought possible, and I don't want her thinking anymore that she and I can't have a healthy relationship because she feels she's "damaged goods", which isn't true at all. Any help would greatly appreciated in this. 

 

 

If you enter into a physical relationship with this woman you will more likely then not eventually catch herpes. I won’t sugarcoat shit like a lot of other people and even doctors will. Sugarcoating herpes and saying bullshit like “it’s so low risk to be with someone that has hsv” or “everyone has it, no big deal” or “don’t worry about it” is the exact kind of advice that contributed to myself catching herpes form a woman with hsv1. You want some solid advice? Don’t do it. People may think I’m an asshole but if I can save one person from a life of hell then it’s worth it to me. Herpes sucks and being stuck with it for life because you put someone’s feelings over your own health is worse. Look out for yourself and think about where you will be if things don’t work out. Do you really want to have to explain to all future partners that your dick is infected for life with a contagious incurable disease? Trust me man it’s not something I would wish on anyone. Don’t fuck your life up. 

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blurneworder
49 minutes ago, Newone2 said:

If you enter into a physical relationship with this woman you will more likely then not eventually catch herpes. I won’t sugarcoat shit like a lot of other people and even doctors will. Sugarcoating herpes and saying bullshit like “it’s so low risk to be with someone that has hsv” or “everyone has it, no big deal” or “don’t worry about it” is the exact kind of advice that contributed to myself catching herpes form a woman with hsv1. You want some solid advice? Don’t do it. People may think I’m an asshole but if I can save one person from a life of hell then it’s worth it to me. Herpes sucks and being stuck with it for life because you put someone’s feelings over your own health is worse. Look out for yourself and think about where you will be if things don’t work out. Do you really want to have to explain to all future partners that your dick is infected for life with a contagious incurable disease? Trust me man it’s not something I would wish on anyone. Don’t fuck your life up. 

100% agree with this. Don't be with someone who has HSV. The virus has caused me daily irritation and problems with my brain function. 

I was disturbed by the amount of doctors who told me that HSV is not a big deal. Nobody in their right mind would choose to accept getting a lifelong virus.

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Juda Lupo
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Newone2 said:

If you enter into a physical relationship with this woman you will more likely then not eventually catch herpes. I won’t sugarcoat shit like a lot of other people and even doctors will. Sugarcoating herpes and saying bullshit like “it’s so low risk to be with someone that has hsv” or “everyone has it, no big deal” or “don’t worry about it” is the exact kind of advice that contributed to myself catching herpes form a woman with hsv1. You want some solid advice? Don’t do it. People may think I’m an asshole but if I can save one person from a life of hell then it’s worth it to me. Herpes sucks and being stuck with it for life because you put someone’s feelings over your own health is worse. Look out for yourself and think about where you will be if things don’t work out. Do you really want to have to explain to all future partners that your dick is infected for life with a contagious incurable disease? Trust me man it’s not something I would wish on anyone. Don’t fuck your life up. 

I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. While I've not made any decisions on this, please respect that my life choices are my own.

I've been a smoker for over 15 years. I'm aware of the risks involved, the terrible cancers I might and likely will gain at some point, but I still smoke. I enjoy it, and I choose to continue doing it.

If I have to take a risk to potentially enjoy a long life with someone that may be right for me, then I'm going to take that chance. I only get one life, and I'd rather not go through it asking myself "what if".

Again, thanks for the advice.

Edited by Juda Lupo
Spelling error

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morty1234

You can already download Positiv single

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Newone2
54 minutes ago, Juda Lupo said:

I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. While I've not made any decisions on this, please respect that my life choices are my own.

I've been a smoker for over 15 years. I'm aware of the risks involved, the terrible cancers I might and likely will gain at some point, but I still smoke. I enjoy it, and I choose to continue doing it.

If I have to take a risk to potentially enjoy a long life with someone that may be right for me, then I'm going to take that chance. I only get one life, and I'd rather not go through it asking myself "what if".

Again, thanks for the advice.

I absolutely respect your decisions as an adult. I just can’t stand when people try and downplay hsv. I want to make sure you have a honest piece of information to base your decision off. Its not a small chance that you will catch it. If it was a small chance none of us would be here. If you love the girl and are sure you are cool with catching herpes then go for it.

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Newone2
1 hour ago, blurneworder said:

100% agree with this. Don't be with someone who has HSV. The virus has caused me daily irritation and problems with my brain function. 

I was disturbed by the amount of doctors who told me that HSV is not a big deal. Nobody in their right mind would choose to accept getting a lifelong virus.

Yeah I find it pretty funny that so called medical professionals practically encourage people to catch hsv. Why don’t they just tell people it’s ok to stick a fork in a electrical socket? I mean it might not be on at the moment you jam the fork in there so that means it basically can’t electrocute you. 

My doctor should have his license pulled for being  unprofessional and contributing to the spread of a disease.

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blurneworder
38 minutes ago, Newone2 said:

Yeah I find it pretty funny that so called medical professionals practically encourage people to catch hsv. Why don’t they just tell people it’s ok to stick a fork in a electrical socket? I mean it might not be on at the moment you jam the fork in there so that means it basically can’t electrocute you. 

My doctor should have his license pulled for being  unprofessional and contributing to the spread of a disease.

My doctor didn't think I needed antivirals for when I start dating again. He said I'm not showing any obvious symptoms, so I didn't need anything beyond condoms. WRONG.

 

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Juda Lupo

@Newone2 @blurneworder

I'm sorry for what you both have to go through. I can't begin to imagine how difficult it is to live with something you didn't ask for. 

I can honestly say I'm glad I'll be going in this actually knowing about it if I choose to continue. Before her, I kept a very casual sex life. While I'm a firm believer of safe sex, I have found myself some nights where I just drank too much and questioned if I used protection. Most of those times, I didn't. It's the guilt that gets me the most for being so reckless and stupid. With that alone, I might as well throw myself off a cliff if I'm willing to act carelessly. So far, I see it as pure luck that I'm still in one piece.

Now I find myself actually having a choice of going into this or not. And if I do, and I get infected, I will have no room to complain or be angry. I cannot justify my actions. I will have to take it knowing full well that I made that decision to do it.

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Newone2
5 minutes ago, blurneworder said:

My doctor didn't think I needed antivirals for when I start dating again. He said I'm not showing any obvious symptoms, so I didn't need anything beyond condoms. WRONG.

 

I try really hard not to jump on the  conspiracy bandwagon but you have to admit it. Between the cdc recommending  no one be tested in the absence of symptoms and the downright misinformation that doctors spew to the public. It’s almost like they want people to catch hsv

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blurneworder

I don't see a conspiracy; more so a lack of understanding. Based on what I've seen by reading personal experiences of people with herpes, there is just not enough research done into the virus.

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WilsoInAus

@Juda Lupo I am so sorry for the posts you have received. 

For context, none of @Sanguine108, @blurneworder, @Newone2 or @morty1234 have HSV-2 and three do not have a confirmed instance of genital herpes. 

There are two base human emotions, fear and love. All the above come from a place of fear which is also critical context.

I encourage you to approach life in general from a place of love. 

A true relationship operates in a different plane to the physical world. There are no aspects of the physical world that play a role in determining whether this is the relationship for you. A person's body is just 1% of who they are. Herpes a mere fraction of that.

The most important thing is to establish whether this person is the right person for the relationship you a willing to participate in. That can take some time, it can involve sex.

In the end, there is transmission risk, it won't go away as such. About half couples where one has HSV-2 will transmit to the other in their lifetime together and this means half will not. Antivirals and condoms reduce the risk and they are worth considering for the duration of working out whether you wish to be together.

I think it might also be helpful to place yourself in her shoes for a moment. Imagine you had HSV-2, which of course is no one's fault. How would you hope a woman might treat you?

 

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Juda Lupo
Posted (edited)
45 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

@Juda Lupo I am so sorry for the posts you have received. 

For context, none of @Sanguine108, @blurneworder, @Newone2 or @morty1234 have HSV-2 and none have a confirmed instance of genital herpes. 

There are two base human emotions, fear and love. All the above come from a place of fear which is also critical context.

I encourage you to approach life in general from a place of love. 

A true relationship operates in a different plane to the physical world. There are no aspects of the physical world that play a role in determining whether this is the relationship for you. A person's body is just 1% of who they are. Herpes a mere fraction of that.

The most important thing is to establish whether this person is the right person for the relationship you a willing to participate in. That can take some time, it can involve sex.

In the end, there is transmission risk, it won't go away as such. About half couples where one has HSV-2 will transmit to the other in their lifetime together and this means half will not. Antivirals and condoms reduce the risk and they are worth considering for the duration of working out whether you wish to be together.

I think it might also be helpful to place yourself in her shoes for a moment. Imagine you had HSV-2, which of course is no one's fault. How would you hope a woman might treat you?

 

The same way I feel I'm treating her now, I would hope; it's not her fault, she didn't ask for it.

She's not monster, she's a human being with feelings and desires for love and affection. I know this because while we have not been intimate at all, she's so happy spending time with me because I've accepted her and what she's dealing with. 

She makes me feel good about myself, and I can tell she's loving every moment of our time together.

Six years of not being with a single person, alone, because of something she didn't ask for is just painful to think about.

Edited by Juda Lupo

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Newone2
52 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

@Juda Lupo I am so sorry for the posts you have received. 

For context, none of @Sanguine108, @blurneworder, @Newone2 or @morty1234 have HSV-2 and none have a confirmed instance of genital herpes. 

There are two base human emotions, fear and love. All the above come from a place of fear which is also critical context.

I encourage you to approach life in general from a place of love. 

A true relationship operates in a different plane to the physical world. There are no aspects of the physical world that play a role in determining whether this is the relationship for you. A person's body is just 1% of who they are. Herpes a mere fraction of that.

The most important thing is to establish whether this person is the right person for the relationship you a willing to participate in. That can take some time, it can involve sex.

In the end, there is transmission risk, it won't go away as such. About half couples where one has HSV-2 will transmit to the other in their lifetime together and this means half will not. Antivirals and condoms reduce the risk and they are worth considering for the duration of working out whether you wish to be together.

I think it might also be helpful to place yourself in her shoes for a moment. Imagine you had HSV-2, which of course is no one's fault. How would you hope a woman might treat you?

 

I do have ghsv1 confirmed by swab test. It may not be hsv2 but it’s the same difference. As I said before I’m just trying to give this man a honest leg to stand on when making his decision. Also as you @wilsolnaus have said about 50% of couples transmit to an uninfected partner over the course of the relationship and that is probably the most honest statistic I’ve ever seen someone post. Thank you. Odds are he will contract herpes from her if he chooses to enter into a physical relationship with her. It’s not fair and it’s very unfortunate but it’s the truth. No one wants hsv and having hsv doesn’t make you a terrible person that isn’t deserving of love and a lasting relationship but that comes at a cost and this man deserves to know that. 

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WilsoInAus
6 minutes ago, Newone2 said:

I do have ghsv1 confirmed by swab test. It may not be hsv2 but it’s the same difference. As I said before I’m just trying to give this man a honest leg to stand on when making his decision. Also as you @wilsolnaus have said about 50% of couples transmit to an uninfected partner over the course of the relationship and that is probably the most honest statistic I’ve ever seen someone post. Thank you. Odds are he will contract herpes from her if he chooses to enter into a physical relationship with her. It’s not fair and it’s very unfortunate but it’s the truth. No one wants hsv and having hsv doesn’t make you a terrible person that isn’t deserving of love and a lasting relationship but that comes at a cost and this man deserves to know that. 

That is also very honest of you. I feel some of your posts a while back were more on the "half glass empty" side of the spectrum. Rate of growth is the most important thing and I applaud you on that progress. I apologise if I missed the fact you've mentioned a positive genital swab in your posts previously and thank you for the maturity you showed in calmly pointing that out.

Note that the 50% is over a lifetime not relationship, anything less than a lifetime means that the odds are below 50% and significantly below. The single most powerful 'force' of reducing transmission probabilities is knowing that you have it and have sex at responsible times. Adding condoms and antivirals takes it to a new level.

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dont quit!17

I can't believe I'm reading so much BS being spewed here. I already posted a link dude. Listen to facts and real clinical trials involving thousands of people, or listen to this guys up here. 

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Juda Lupo
37 minutes ago, dont quit!17 said:

I can't believe I'm reading so much BS being spewed here. I already posted a link dude. Listen to facts and real clinical trials involving thousands of people, or listen to this guys up here. 

I read it, trust me. So did she. We're not going in blind. She's going to see her doctor for a solution best for her without putting me at huge risk.

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Quest

For what it is worth. I almost have 8 yrs with the same sex partner. He has HSV-1 and I have HSV 2

Both still clean for a reason. We don't delude self. We know we have it and know how to lower the risk!

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blurneworder
16 minutes ago, Quest said:

For what it is worth. I almost have 8 yrs with the same sex partner. He has HSV-1 and I have HSV 2

Both still clean for a reason. We don't delude self. We know we have it and know how to lower the risk!

For the benefit of the poster, can you share what you do to avoid transmission?

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    • WilsoInAus
      @LoneWolf let's assume for a moment that you have HSV-2. This would then mean that he is at risk genitally of being infected with HSV-2. His oral HSV-1 cannot be assumed to provide any protection. 'Suppressive' use of antivirals and condoms are what reduces risk to him. You actually have greater protection from HSV-1, HSV-2 just works that way with good cross reaction against HSV-1. In terms of your swab, ask if it was PCR or culture. If PCR then it was typed so ask them which type was detected. If culture ask if an immunofluoresence test was applied to the positive culture. If it wasn't then there was no typing. Of course make sure the swab was indeed positive for HSV in the first place. If type isn't clear from the swab, then request a blood test for IgG antibodies type specific for HSV-1 and HSV-2.
    • LoneWolf
      @WilsoInAus that’s what I thought also, like wow how rude BUT he did tell me he'd understand if I didn’t want to kiss him anymore. He said he felt bad because I kissed him and over the weekend he looked into it further and came  to this conclusion.  So if him and I have different types then what’s the possible outcome, we both infect each other with the strain we don’t have yet? Also, if I call my doctor to try to get specifics on the test results(which I hope they still have), is there anything in particular I need to ask for?    I’ve moved states since my initial outbreak. Moving forward and getting tested again, what do I and  he need to ask for specifically to make sure we get specific results? Also, about how much do these tests run for? I’m assuming insurance doesn’t cover any of it. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @LoneWolf this makes it imperative for you to understand type through a blood test. It sounds like your swab was not typed (or maybe the doc could check the detail). It is funny that it is OK for him to expose you to HSV-1 after disclosure but not for him to accept risk the other way! What you say is true segregated for type. This means it is actually advantageous if you both have the same HSV type, that is, HSV-1 in this instance. This is because your immune system prevents further infection, being so termed 'concordant' is the best position to be in. Note that this does not work if one partner has HSV-2 and the other HSV-1. Thus you need to find out your type for the best outcome here. It would be a shame for this breakup to happen if you are actually concordant. 
    • LoneWolf
      Hello all, I’m hoping for some clarification, hope, and even some “scientific” proof of some sort. It’s been about two years or so since I had my initial outbreak on my vulva. Yes I went to my doctor, yes I got swabbed but no, I never got specific answers on my diagnosis. All I was told was that I had herpes. Well obviously dating has been a little rough but I thought there was hope. So I’ve gone on a couple of dates with an amazing guy, we have a great time together. On our second date, he discloses to me that he has had cold sores on his lips since he was a kid and that he wanted to let me know before we ever got to kissing. I told him I could relate and explained my story to him. He was open and accepting, we agreed on using condoms whenever we get to that point UNTIL today that the topic was brought up again. Today he told me he did a little more research after I encouraged him to do so, then told me that he read he could get herpes on his penis from me and so now we could date but without sex.    Well, sex is a big thing for me because it creates a different sort of bond, it’s a very connecting moment and he knows my opinion on sex. He’s told me he understands if I don’t want to continue anything with him because of my views on sex. I am seriously hurting pretty badly after the conversation and I don’t know how to respond.  I could have sworn that that sort of transmission wasn’t a thing. Also, I thought once you have herpes, you can’t get a second initial outbreak on another location. Please correct me if I’m wrong and please give me some sort of link or something that gives me more information on transmission. I know it may be difficult to help me since neither of us know what exact strain we have. But I’m hoping maybe for some clarification, maybe some information that can possibly make him feel comfortable with protected sex.    This is devastating, please help 
    • dont quit!17
      this med and valtrex can be close to a functional cure
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