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Juda Lupo

Someone I want to commit to has herpes

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Quest

It would not be a good idea to follow us because we didn't know we had it because STD testing doesn't that for hsv.

The first year we were bare!

2nd we found out and stared antiviral therapy. My hair started falling out. So I experimented natural.

I have fine-tuned my protocol every since.

 He wears latex shorts and a Sagami thinnest condom. 0.02 or 3 sexy as hell! 

No more outbreaks! Yay! Mostly due to BHT

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blurneworder
6 minutes ago, Quest said:

It would not be a good idea to follow us because we didn't know we had it because STD testing doesn't that for hsv.

The first year we were bare!

2nd we found out and stared antiviral therapy. My hair started falling out. So I experimented natural.

I have fine-tuned my protocol every since.

 He wears latex shorts and a Sagami thinnest condom. 0.02 or 3 sexy as hell! 

No more outbreaks! Yay! Mostly due to BHT

Did your hair grow back?

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Quest

It did! There are combinations you can take that will not give you this effect, I just didn't want to do medication anymore.

What I am doing

https://www.amazon.com/MakingCosmetics-BHT-4-4oz-125g/dp/B01DE780OS read Steve Fowkes free book

BHT1/8 t in coconut liquid MCT chain oil. Extremely hard to dissolve. I leave it for a day, must read Steve Fowkes free book online, overdose gets people dizzy! More is not better! Oils will also not get Rancid if you put some in your cooking oils!

whole food vitamin,

glutamine 3x one gram, suggested by case9 love it

DHEA,25mg, most people who breakout have low levels

lugols iodine worked way to four drops. Fulvic acid minerals. Thyriod granular meds 

 When I used to have obs I used monolaurin and st.John s wort.

I used diaper rash cream for obs

I also still spray genitals with zinc sulfate mixed with water. I learned it kills any virus plus summer sweat won't smell at all! 

There is one thing I will not be without and that's BHT and zinc sulfate

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AHerring

@Juda Lupo Hey Juda-

I totally get where you're coming from. You sound like the person I'm seeing, where he's not super concerned about the virus because I've been completely open about all of the risks.

That being said, I see where your partner is coming from as well. I'm speaking from my own experience when I say it feels like there's an extra responsibility on us not to spread it. Even if we're totally transparent, and we take our antiviral every day, and we aren't having an outbreak, nothing is 100%. 

The thing you should know though is that the antiviral (I take Acyclovir; not sure what your partner uses but I'm sure the same principle applies!) reduces the risk of transmitting the virus because it keeps us from breaking out. As long as you aren't being sexually active in the area of the outbreak, there is a very low chance of you contracting the virus.

There are things called prodromal symptoms, which may or may not spread the virus, depending on which symptoms your partner gets from time to time. If you do end up contracting the virus, know that male genital skin is different from female, and your symptoms won't be as severe. This may be TMI, but that's actually how I got it- the guy I was sleeping with had no idea that the sore he had wasn't an ingrown hair.

Something that helped me was talking to a therapist about the weight of having to tell other people about my diagnosis, and then accepting that my partner makes his own decisions by choosing to be sexually active with me or not. I've been working on telling myself that once they know, it's out of my hands and not my fault if the virus is contracted as long as I continue to take every precaution against spreading it. Talking to someone might help your partner feel better, too.

She isn't damaged goods, and you're a really good person for recognizing that. It says a lot about your character that you're on a forum like this to try and make your relationship work.

I hope this helps you!

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35hope
On 5/19/2019 at 1:33 AM, Juda Lupo said:

Hello, everyone. This being my first post, I'd like some help with a few questions I'm having trouble finding a firm answer to. 

A month ago I began talking to a woman I've been attracted to for quite a bit. Before that time, we would speak occasionally, but now the more I spend time with her, the more I see how much chemistry and how much in common we have, and of course now I find myself really wanting a little more than just a fling. A few days ago, she disclosed that she had contracted herpes from her ex-boyfriend six years ago and wanted to tell me before we got any further. While it threw me back a bit, it didn't change how I felt about her. In fact, I felt more closer to her because of her honesty and how much courage it took for her to tell me. When I told her that I would like to continue developing a potential relationship, she was happy to agree.

I told her we can abstain from sex for the moment so we can get as much information since I don't have herpes, and that when she's comfortable enough to have sex, then we will on her time.

I did a lot of reading online since, and I got some information that helped put some light on things I didn't even know about. What I'd like to know is the result of, say, accidental exposure.

  • What I mean is, say we do have sex (and we plan on practicing safe sex), but what if the condom breaks?
  • What if I don't see this until after the act of sex?
  • What if we drink too much one night and unintentionally find ourselves having unprotected sex?
  • What if (and I'm only asking this because I don't want to rule anything out) later in the future we want to have a child together?

I personally don't find myself paranoid in this situation. However, she does. She pointed out multiple times that she would feel guilty if I contracted herpes from her, which is why I suggested to her we wait until we have more information that she'd feel comfortable with.

I don't want intimacy completely out of the picture with her. I connect with her more than I thought possible, and I don't want her thinking anymore that she and I can't have a healthy relationship because she feels she's "damaged goods", which isn't true at all. Any help would greatly appreciated in this. 

 

 

your choice your life i'm just going to say it can be very painful weekly to even daily for the rest of your life...

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Juda Lupo
11 hours ago, AHerring said:

@Juda Lupo Hey Juda-

I totally get where you're coming from. You sound like the person I'm seeing, where he's not super concerned about the virus because I've been completely open about all of the risks.

That being said, I see where your partner is coming from as well. I'm speaking from my own experience when I say it feels like there's an extra responsibility on us not to spread it. Even if we're totally transparent, and we take our antiviral every day, and we aren't having an outbreak, nothing is 100%. 

The thing you should know though is that the antiviral (I take Acyclovir; not sure what your partner uses but I'm sure the same principle applies!) reduces the risk of transmitting the virus because it keeps us from breaking out. As long as you aren't being sexually active in the area of the outbreak, there is a very low chance of you contracting the virus.

There are things called prodromal symptoms, which may or may not spread the virus, depending on which symptoms your partner gets from time to time. If you do end up contracting the virus, know that male genital skin is different from female, and your symptoms won't be as severe. This may be TMI, but that's actually how I got it- the guy I was sleeping with had no idea that the sore he had wasn't an ingrown hair.

Something that helped me was talking to a therapist about the weight of having to tell other people about my diagnosis, and then accepting that my partner makes his own decisions by choosing to be sexually active with me or not. I've been working on telling myself that once they know, it's out of my hands and not my fault if the virus is contracted as long as I continue to take every precaution against spreading it. Talking to someone might help your partner feel better, too.

She isn't damaged goods, and you're a really good person for recognizing that. It says a lot about your character that you're on a forum like this to try and make your relationship work.

I hope this helps you!

This is very encouraging, thank you for sharing this with me.

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WilsoInAus
6 minutes ago, 35hope said:

your choice your life i'm just going to say it can be very painful weekly to even daily for the rest of your life...

But you don't have genital herpes. This guy needs real advice about herpes which has zero to do with your issues.

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35hope
2 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

But you don't have genital herpes. This guy needs real advice about herpes which has zero to do with your issues.

like i said befor i hope your right wilson, i pray that you are...

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WilsoInAus
12 minutes ago, 35hope said:

like i said befor i hope your right wilson, i pray that you are...

Me too, me too, I hope you can reach you desired level of health... I just think it isn't fully fair in a way to imply that your unfortunate issues are caused by herpes when there is virtually no chance that they are.

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JP9
On 5/20/2019 at 10:39 AM, morty1234 said:

How long a couple can practice safe sex?

Imagine you catch it and then she loose interest for you or you loose interest for her, do you think women will be interested by you with herpes? Most guys here will tell you that except single mum, fat belly and 40+ are ok which means only low quality girls for a young man.

Chemistry? You think she is the one, but maybe her herpes push her to be sweet with you. So in fact you dont really know her.  Maybe she is desesperate ?

Did you read that some people suffering from chronic nerves pain and dont find any relief like me?

Good luck

Worst most unsupportive and negative response ever. Please stop thinking this way. For yourself and others.

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Juda Lupo
Posted (edited)

Just to update everyone on this topic.

We have been in a serious relationship since I posted this. She is keen on letting me know when she has an OB and we avoid any physical sexual activities during those flares, which she now feels comfortable in telling me since I assured her it's nothing to be embarrassed about. We've had sexual encounters in-between and, since she wanted some assurance, I've gone and done tests on myself and came up clean. While I know that's not 100% since the virus can pretty much remain hidden within a person even through testing, she has felt relieved since I've experienced no common symptoms that comes along with it.

Edited by Juda Lupo

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Juda Lupo
1 hour ago, Juda Lupo said:

Just to update everyone on this topic.

We have been in a serious relationship since I posted this. She is keen on letting me know when she has an OB and we avoid any physical sexual activities during those flares, which she now feels comfortable in telling me since I assured her it's nothing to be embarrassed about. We've had sexual encounters in-between and, since she wanted some assurance, I've gone and done tests on myself and came up clean. While I know that's not 100% since the virus can pretty much remain hidden within a person even through testing, she has felt relieved since I've experienced no common symptoms that comes along with it.

I should point out that we've only had unprotected sex, and while I am aware that increases my risk of getting the virus, it's a decision I've come to terms with. On average, we have sex one to two to times a week, though most times it can be once every couple of weeks since I work a lot of hours and she's a mother of three.

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Voyager2

@Juda Lupo--If it were me I'd ask her to go on Acyclovir daily. I've taken it for decades and it pretty much prevents outbreaks (FOR ME) and maybe even shedding. Then get yourself tested to see if you are truly free of the virus. If so, her daily regimen might lower your risk of catching it. It's not that expensive.     

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