Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Idkwhatimdoing

newly diagnosed and may have transmitted to my partner

Recommended Posts

Idkwhatimdoing

Hello Everyone,

I was newly diagnosed earlier this month.  I had my first outbreak, didn't even know I was infected.  I had a test drawn at the end of January but I didn't get the results because they weren't immediately sent to my doctors office, I work in the medical field and I know that STD's are reported to public health, well stupid me thought if I had something they would be finding me, so I followed up but not completely like I should have, because come to find out Herpes is sooo common its not reported like the other STD's.  So flash forward a couple months to my first outbreak, I've been seeing this man for about 7 months, the numbers from my January test are concurrent with my situation of being infected in October.  I had 3 sexual partners that month 2 of which were unprotected, one I'm still with.  before that I was celibate for 17 months because I had gotten out of a LTR that was for 13 years.  

 I am slowly coming to terms with this diagnosis, I disclosed to a friend and found out she has it too.  She assured me that I may feel like life is over but it really isn't because it is manageable.

I told my S.O. that I was diagnosed with this, and we had sex on an outbreak before I even knew what it was.  So he was telling me that this doesn't change how he feels about me, that he still loves me.  He was really wonderful during the beginning of it.  But recently has went to the doctor and he got an exam and on exam he had swollen glands in the pelvic area and a high temp which could be symptoms, it is about right with the timeline because this was about 2 weeks before I had my breakout.  

So he didn't want to see me on the day of, I understand he's processing, I'm trying to give him space but its difficult.  He said that we were ok, just needed to be alone, I haven't heard from him in a couple days but I am starting to wonder and getting doubts that I am not enough for him.  Or maybe he's changed his mind.  

Anyone out there with a similar situation that can help me out or have words of encouragement.  I am so lost.  I feel guilty that I possibly was the one to transmit it to him.  This is the first person that I have connected to since my last LTR.  I just feel like we were doing so good and of course nothing good ever lasts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WilsoInAus

Hey @Idkwhatimdoing and welcome to the website.

I think the first thing to note is that it does not appear you have transmitted to your current partner. That's good, you can do a stocktake and check what it going on for both you and him and assess how best to move forward.

Something seems a bit roundabout in the testing and first outbreak. People do not usually test positive before their first outbreak. If you didn't have an outbreak in October then chances are you were not infected then. People are almost invariably infected in the few days before their first noticeable outbreak. 

What tests did you have in January and then again what tests have you had now associated with this outbreak. 

I raise all this as first pass reading of your story suggests you have just been infected by your current partner, which would now make you concordant and have few worries in the future and alleviate any guilt you feel, not that it is warranted in the first instance!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Idkwhatimdoing
1 hour ago, WilsoInAus said:

Hey @Idkwhatimdoing and welcome to the website.

I think the first thing to note is that it does not appear you have transmitted to your current partner. That's good, you can do a stocktake and check what it going on for both you and him and assess how best to move forward.

Something seems a bit roundabout in the testing and first outbreak. People do not usually test positive before their first outbreak. If you didn't have an outbreak in October then chances are you were not infected then. People are almost invariably infected in the few days before their first noticeable outbreak. 

What tests did you have in January and then again what tests have you had now associated with this outbreak. 

I raise all this as first pass reading of your story suggests you have just been infected by your current partner, which would now make you concordant and have few worries in the future and alleviate any guilt you feel, not that it is warranted in the first instance!

Well I did a blood test in January and a swab and the herpes wb test this month. All of which are positive, except the wb for hsv2 was indeterminate but my igg in January confirms along with the swab that I have genital herpes (I’ve had cold sores before so I’m not surprised about the hsv1).  I’m more worried about having transmitted it to my current partner (he’s current awaiting blood tests) and his reaction to this. He’s always been one to independently deal with things on his own, I just wanted advice on what he could be feeling and how to go about this with him.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WilsoInAus

@Idkwhatimdoing stay curious on this one. The evidence here of the blood tests still supports a recent infection. 

Check whether the swab was typed properly, many aren’t. I also suspect your January test has a number <3.5.

Great your partner is getting tested as this will shed more light on the situation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Idkwhatimdoing
7 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

@Idkwhatimdoing stay curious on this one. The evidence here of the blood tests still supports a recent infection. 

Check whether the swab was typed properly, many aren’t. I also suspect your January test has a number <3.5.

Great your partner is getting tested as this will shed more light on the situation.

Yes it is most definitely a recent infection considering the provider told me my January test was a low level positive which matches my timeline of October. I guess only time will tell what happens. Just trying to stay positive thru this whole ordeal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tone123
On 5/22/2019 at 5:53 PM, WilsoInAus said:

. People do not usually test positive before their first outbreak.

Wilso so you're saying people won't show positive until one gets an outbreak. I thought antibodies build upon infection not outbreak. How about the asymptomatic people that have positive results. My encounter to an hsv+ partner was in October as well and I'm negative at 27 weeks so far. Will it be because of no ob. I'm gonna test at 30 weeks and I guess play it safe and see if I get an ob

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tone123
On 5/22/2019 at 7:03 PM, Idkwhatimdoing said:

Well I did a blood test in January and a swab and the herpes wb test this month. All of which are positive, except the wb for hsv2 was indeterminate but my igg in January confirms along with the swab that I have genital herpes (I’ve had cold sores before so I’m not surprised about the hsv1).  I’m more worried about having transmitted it to my current partner (he’s current awaiting blood tests) and his reaction to this. He’s always been one to independently deal with things on his own, I just wanted advice on what he could be feeling and how to go about this with him.  

From what I've read it's a small chance to transmit female to male. If u don't mind me asking what made u test in January, did u have symptoms or because of your October encounters 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WilsoInAus
2 hours ago, Tone123 said:

Wilso so you're saying people won't show positive until one gets an outbreak. I thought antibodies build upon infection not outbreak. How about the asymptomatic people that have positive results. My encounter to an hsv+ partner was in October as well and I'm negative at 27 weeks so far. Will it be because of no ob. I'm gonna test at 30 weeks and I guess play it safe and see if I get an ob

What I’m saying is that the an outbreak occurs upon infection in almost every instance.

If you experience what you are quite sure is a first outbreak of what turns out to be herpes, then the finger of suspicion must point to an infection in the preceding days.

Antibodies to commence learning and production from infection regardless. 

In your car you can be confident that you were not infected in October.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,914
    • Total Posts
      471,913
  • Posts

    • Quest
      Right, that's why you spend every waking moment here because you have "PhD's and degrees" That's comical! If you're not messing with someone and hijacking a thread, you get the shakes!
    • MiLoBeng
      Yeah. I missed my old normal life too.
    • blurneworder
      Headaches and brain fog for me. It sucks i can’t eat grain or sugar anymore
    • MiLoBeng
      I wouldn't say HSV is totally harmless at all as it still poses risk for the women who's pregnant/in labor (despite of having antiviral to reduce the risk = it's never 100% risk-free either) + fatal disease to the babies (kiss of death lol..) + small % of people who are immunocompromised might be in danger because of the virus  Even though HSV doesn't kill us but it sure did create lots of inconvenience in our daily lives = Avoiding your favourite food (because of triggers) + disclosing issues in dating + mental stress (because it's incurable + stigma everywhr) + sex issues with loved one (scared of transmission) + dealing with OBs Most doctors (not all) out there only said it's harmless because it won't kill you (they couldn't care less of how you're going to deal or live with it) 🙂  *Some might even not saying anything at all (they just prescribe some med and sent you home) 😐
    • blurneworder
      Break free Wilsoanus! Accept you are wrong about diagnosing herpes.   theres a world out there for you to join and get a life! I noticed the flurry of new accounts making posts recently that you comment on before others. The original poster then praises you. Nice try creating fake profiles. You are a worse troll than Jay
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.