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Idkwhatimdoing

newly diagnosed and may have transmitted to my partner

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Idkwhatimdoing

Hello Everyone,

I was newly diagnosed earlier this month.  I had my first outbreak, didn't even know I was infected.  I had a test drawn at the end of January but I didn't get the results because they weren't immediately sent to my doctors office, I work in the medical field and I know that STD's are reported to public health, well stupid me thought if I had something they would be finding me, so I followed up but not completely like I should have, because come to find out Herpes is sooo common its not reported like the other STD's.  So flash forward a couple months to my first outbreak, I've been seeing this man for about 7 months, the numbers from my January test are concurrent with my situation of being infected in October.  I had 3 sexual partners that month 2 of which were unprotected, one I'm still with.  before that I was celibate for 17 months because I had gotten out of a LTR that was for 13 years.  

 I am slowly coming to terms with this diagnosis, I disclosed to a friend and found out she has it too.  She assured me that I may feel like life is over but it really isn't because it is manageable.

I told my S.O. that I was diagnosed with this, and we had sex on an outbreak before I even knew what it was.  So he was telling me that this doesn't change how he feels about me, that he still loves me.  He was really wonderful during the beginning of it.  But recently has went to the doctor and he got an exam and on exam he had swollen glands in the pelvic area and a high temp which could be symptoms, it is about right with the timeline because this was about 2 weeks before I had my breakout.  

So he didn't want to see me on the day of, I understand he's processing, I'm trying to give him space but its difficult.  He said that we were ok, just needed to be alone, I haven't heard from him in a couple days but I am starting to wonder and getting doubts that I am not enough for him.  Or maybe he's changed his mind.  

Anyone out there with a similar situation that can help me out or have words of encouragement.  I am so lost.  I feel guilty that I possibly was the one to transmit it to him.  This is the first person that I have connected to since my last LTR.  I just feel like we were doing so good and of course nothing good ever lasts.

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WilsoInAus

Hey @Idkwhatimdoing and welcome to the website.

I think the first thing to note is that it does not appear you have transmitted to your current partner. That's good, you can do a stocktake and check what it going on for both you and him and assess how best to move forward.

Something seems a bit roundabout in the testing and first outbreak. People do not usually test positive before their first outbreak. If you didn't have an outbreak in October then chances are you were not infected then. People are almost invariably infected in the few days before their first noticeable outbreak. 

What tests did you have in January and then again what tests have you had now associated with this outbreak. 

I raise all this as first pass reading of your story suggests you have just been infected by your current partner, which would now make you concordant and have few worries in the future and alleviate any guilt you feel, not that it is warranted in the first instance!

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Idkwhatimdoing
1 hour ago, WilsoInAus said:

Hey @Idkwhatimdoing and welcome to the website.

I think the first thing to note is that it does not appear you have transmitted to your current partner. That's good, you can do a stocktake and check what it going on for both you and him and assess how best to move forward.

Something seems a bit roundabout in the testing and first outbreak. People do not usually test positive before their first outbreak. If you didn't have an outbreak in October then chances are you were not infected then. People are almost invariably infected in the few days before their first noticeable outbreak. 

What tests did you have in January and then again what tests have you had now associated with this outbreak. 

I raise all this as first pass reading of your story suggests you have just been infected by your current partner, which would now make you concordant and have few worries in the future and alleviate any guilt you feel, not that it is warranted in the first instance!

Well I did a blood test in January and a swab and the herpes wb test this month. All of which are positive, except the wb for hsv2 was indeterminate but my igg in January confirms along with the swab that I have genital herpes (I’ve had cold sores before so I’m not surprised about the hsv1).  I’m more worried about having transmitted it to my current partner (he’s current awaiting blood tests) and his reaction to this. He’s always been one to independently deal with things on his own, I just wanted advice on what he could be feeling and how to go about this with him.  

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WilsoInAus

@Idkwhatimdoing stay curious on this one. The evidence here of the blood tests still supports a recent infection. 

Check whether the swab was typed properly, many aren’t. I also suspect your January test has a number <3.5.

Great your partner is getting tested as this will shed more light on the situation.

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Idkwhatimdoing
7 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

@Idkwhatimdoing stay curious on this one. The evidence here of the blood tests still supports a recent infection. 

Check whether the swab was typed properly, many aren’t. I also suspect your January test has a number <3.5.

Great your partner is getting tested as this will shed more light on the situation.

Yes it is most definitely a recent infection considering the provider told me my January test was a low level positive which matches my timeline of October. I guess only time will tell what happens. Just trying to stay positive thru this whole ordeal.

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Tone123
On 5/22/2019 at 5:53 PM, WilsoInAus said:

. People do not usually test positive before their first outbreak.

Wilso so you're saying people won't show positive until one gets an outbreak. I thought antibodies build upon infection not outbreak. How about the asymptomatic people that have positive results. My encounter to an hsv+ partner was in October as well and I'm negative at 27 weeks so far. Will it be because of no ob. I'm gonna test at 30 weeks and I guess play it safe and see if I get an ob

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Tone123
On 5/22/2019 at 7:03 PM, Idkwhatimdoing said:

Well I did a blood test in January and a swab and the herpes wb test this month. All of which are positive, except the wb for hsv2 was indeterminate but my igg in January confirms along with the swab that I have genital herpes (I’ve had cold sores before so I’m not surprised about the hsv1).  I’m more worried about having transmitted it to my current partner (he’s current awaiting blood tests) and his reaction to this. He’s always been one to independently deal with things on his own, I just wanted advice on what he could be feeling and how to go about this with him.  

From what I've read it's a small chance to transmit female to male. If u don't mind me asking what made u test in January, did u have symptoms or because of your October encounters 

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WilsoInAus
2 hours ago, Tone123 said:

Wilso so you're saying people won't show positive until one gets an outbreak. I thought antibodies build upon infection not outbreak. How about the asymptomatic people that have positive results. My encounter to an hsv+ partner was in October as well and I'm negative at 27 weeks so far. Will it be because of no ob. I'm gonna test at 30 weeks and I guess play it safe and see if I get an ob

What I’m saying is that the an outbreak occurs upon infection in almost every instance.

If you experience what you are quite sure is a first outbreak of what turns out to be herpes, then the finger of suspicion must point to an infection in the preceding days.

Antibodies to commence learning and production from infection regardless. 

In your car you can be confident that you were not infected in October.

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