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CatEyes

Need Advice about HSV2

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CatEyes

I’ve just started seeing a man who I REALLY like.  Thankfully, he did the right thing last night and told me he had two partners who had HSV2 and subsequently tested positive for the antibodies.  He also said he’s never had an outbreak or any symptoms at all, but that’s still no guarantee he can’t pass it on to me.  He said he can take antivirals to decrease the chance of transmission.  And of course he’d wear a condom.  He told me to please not do anything I’m uncomfortable with and he’d understand if this was my exit pass.  I told him I wanted to do more research, which I did.  And it doesn’t look good to me.  I slept on it last night and woke up this morning thinking this is way too risky.  I don’t want to live with HSV2 for the rest of my life.  It’s such a shame though because I really like him. Thoughts?  

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Slkxx

It’s your choice at the end of the day, it’s not unreasonable to be put off by hsv2. I can’t think of anyone who would actually want it. 

It is a shame but it is what it is. I will say the risk of transmission is very low, I think it’s 2% risk from male to female in a year with condoms and anti-virals, but there will always be that little bit of risk.

Maybe carry on seeing him for a little while, without sex, if you’re unsure. He’ll either be somebody you don’t mind taking the risk for or it’ll be a deal breaker, but at least you’ll know you really thought it through.

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CatEyes

Thank you, Slkxx.  What you said above is a route I’ve considered.  I’m surprised how low the potential risk of transmission is.  This is the kind of information I really need.  

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Slkxx

It’s a lot easier to prevent when you know you’ve got it, know how to reduce the risk of transmission and actually care about not giving it to anybody else- which he clearly does. It spreads very easily when people don’t know they’ve got it or simply don’t care

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WilsoInAus

Hey @CatEyes I’d be curious about his test, especially as he hasn’t had an outbreak. 

Ask him what test he had, IgG or IgM and what were the numerical results.

Things aren’t usually this vague which may suggest a little digging will shed some light.

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CatEyes

@WilsoInAus Yes, I read about the difference between the two tests.  I had the same thought- that I should find out which one it was and what the values were.  

 

Why do say say this is vague?  Just curious.  And thanks for your response.

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WilsoInAus
59 minutes ago, CatEyes said:

@WilsoInAus Yes, I read about the difference between the two tests.  I had the same thought- that I should find out which one it was and what the values were.  

 

Why do say say this is vague?  Just curious.  And thanks for your response.

Vague as he describes zero symptoms and that he didn't confirm with you that it was indeed an IgG test he had with a high value. 

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CatEyes
7 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

Vague as he describes zero symptoms and that he didn't confirm with you that it was indeed an IgG test he had with a high value. 

Yes, I’m guessing he was assuming that information wouldn’t be meaningful to me.  At the time it wouldn’t have been.  But I have done some research.  I will ask him.  I also know there are plenty of others who have zero symptoms, however.

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