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Desperate for Advice (oral sores)

Guest Anonymous

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Guest Anonymous

I'm a bit embarrassed to ask for advice, and share my story, but I'm getting more worried and desperate.

The first time I gave oral sex to my boyfriend I had an ulcer in my mouth. It was caused by the wearing away of the gum tissue on my cheek, I don't think it was the herpes virus. Anyways, I didn't know that the herpes virus can be spread that way.

The next few times I gave him oral sex, nothing happened. But after the third or fourth time, I got a sore in my mouth. I think it was a canker sore. But, right as that one was almost done healing, another one formed in another part of my mouth. And as that one finished healing, another one formed in my mouth.

Now, it seems that everytime I give him head, I get another sore in my mouth, sometimes even two. However, he doesn't have any sores on his penis. Does anyone know if its possible to get the virus even if he has no signs on the virus in his genital area? Please, if you have any advice, please email me at MiniGrL02@aol.com, or post a reply message. Thank you!

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It is possible that he has the virus and doesn't show any visible symptom.

But........ what you get in your mouth can be canker sore or something. It can also appear when your body lacks some kind of nutrition (Vitamin B?). Also, oral sex can make inside of your mouth rough if you do it too much.. That can cause canker sore, too..

I think, next time you get the sore, you should go see a doctor and get checked (and tested if necessary).

Best wishes...


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Now, it seems that everytime I give him head, I get another sore in my mouth, sometimes even two.

Its really hard to determine causal relationships with stuff like this.

Once you get a concern in your head, it can be pretty easy to think something is causing something when its not.

The only way to really know whats going on might be to see a DR...

On the other hand... Looking at all the circumstances you described...

EVEN if he did have HSV, if he didn't have an outbreak, I DOUBT VERY STRONGLY that giving him head would cause you to have a sore in your mouth corresponding to giving him head.

I mean yes, you can get HSV from shedding, but I don't think you'd get an outbreak every time you gave him head...

Perhaps there is something else that is causal... Perhaps its just coincidence and they are just normal canker sores...

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    • EssenceL25
      I’m going to force him to get tested ! Thanks for your help ! 
    • WilsoInAus
      @EssenceL25 there really isn't a question mark around the source, it's your latest partner. The median time from infection to an outbreak of lesions upon initial infection is 4 days.  The only thing that isn't certain is the type I suggest.
    • EssenceL25
      I asked if it was hsv 1 or 2 and the doctor said it was Hsv2. I’m not sure i just asked him when he was tested last he said this year I said I think we should go test together and he agreed . I’m going to bring it up again cause I really need to know if he gave this to me I wasn’t sure since it was so close to my previous relationship.
    • WilsoInAus
      @EssenceL25 then it is all beyond reasonable doubt that the current partner is the source. A 'perfect' fit in terms of timing, symptoms and swab. It may be though that the type is not technically known. Culture swabs are very often not typed and just assumed to be HSV-2 if taken from a genital location. If you received oral sex in the days leading into 7 March then it is 50/50 as to whether this is HSV-1 or HSV-2. You could contact your doctor and confirm if the swab was actually typed (which is a second test where fluorescent antibodies for HSV-1 and HSV-2 are added and see which one 'glows').  If that test wasn't done then you do not know type. If you have oral HSV-1 yourself (cold sores) then this will be HSV-2. Does your partner have oral HSV-1? It is somewhat strange for him not to rush and test - many people have a 'reaction' if they truly do not know their status and have concerns that you infected them etc. (not initially rational of course). This indicates he may know his status - or maybe he just isn't simply the sharpest tool in the shed!?
    • EssenceL25
      I had flu like symptoms and ulcers on my vagina . They did a culture and I tested positive for hsv2. I asked my partner to get tested he agreed but I’m not sure if he will cause he hasn’t said anything else about it. 
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