Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group

20 y/o male seeking advise on how to deal with herpes. 

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Hi everyone,¬†ūüėá


For about a year ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes which since then has had an enormously negative impact on my mental health. I have spent so much time thinking and worrying about it that I eventually went to see a psychiatrist and she advised me to make a post in a herpes forum, so now I want to give it a shot.


In the past I used to love to go out and meet girls, but after the diagnosis my self esteem has been so low that I barely have the guts to do anything and sometimes I even have trouble just speaking to girls I might could have been interested in. I guess I feel kinda alone about it and because of the herpes it's now been such a long while ago since I've been dating and that's something I really miss. In addition to this, I spend way too much time and energy thinking about the reaction from a potential partner. I suppose the fear of rejection is so big that I've chosen just to keep it to myself. Also, I don't really have any friends with whom I feel comfortable enough talking about this to.


Even though I realize that it's far from the end of the world, I still have huge trouble accepting the diagnosis and the way it affects my life. Therefore, I want to ask if anyone has any tips or something like that to deal with a diagnosis. I think the mental side of it is far worse than the actual symptoms. 

Does it get easier to live with as life goes on?


I truly appreciate any answers or advice from you guys. Also if you want to share your experiences or stories that would be more than welcome. 


Thank you all so much in advance¬†‚̧ԳŹ



Edited by SeanHanson

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites


I'm also at a year since diagnosis and mentally I'm in a different space to you. I don't let it bother me now but at the beginning I was devastated. This forum helped me massively come to terms with it. You can't change the fact that you have it so you have a choice either to live feeling like crap or just decide to live your life as before only taking a few extra precautions. I'd not had an ob in 8 months but I'm currently going through one and this time around I'm like  theres nothing to worry about, it will be gone in a few days. Whereas 8 months ago I was saying.. why me! It's all about how you think about it and I always say it's just a skin condition! 

I've not dated anyone since diagnosis but that is mainly because I don't have time and I was pretty much single for years before I got it anyway. I know telling people will be hard and it's something I do dread if the day ever comes, but the right person will stick by you anyway. As for meaningless sex...it's overrated anyway! Sex is much better with a good connection and mutual respect and from my many years of experience, more fun! 

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, that sure is an inspiring view you have. Thank you for your answer, it means a lot! Even though I am far from your inspirational mental state it's definitely something I wanna work on in the future. I guess you're right about the sex, too. I hope to find that some day. Thank again! 

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • @lw@ys
      I usually stick to 16-18 hour fasts daily. It helps me. 
    • iFdUp
      To all the people estimating 2023 for human trials of what Dr Jerome is working on, we really have to see.  Depending on what is happening right now about that 90% delivery to the SCG and the 50% to TG.  As soon as it is considered an effective cure in mice it will move to a greater animal.  The time to determine results of the mice testing was at most around 45~ days per test grouping. It may be longer for greater animals but I doubt it would be much longer.  If the same level of efficacy is found in the greater animals it may progress to clinic much faster. It may even be granted access to certain people with rare cases of lethal herpes, anything is possible. 
    • Focri
      Same... on everything. I hated when i saw that the CDC thought It wouldn‚Äôt change people‚Äôs behavior, therefore, no testing. Screw that. When I was tested before the last relationship I was in, they didn‚Äôt even tell me what was Not being tested for. I just assumed all the common or dangerous ones. ¬†However, my ex used it to her advantage and actually used it as a weapon so we would be ‚Äústuck together‚ÄĚ she would often say happily,¬†and now she‚Äôs even denying she has it (accused me) and she wont get tested, leading me to believe this is a strategy of hers - saying she got tested, but keeping the HSV off the books. Psycho¬† Will be taking her to court for sexual assault soon as she aggressively pursued sex, forcing herself on me as she stripped, and resulting¬†in a disgusting situation of me not interested and her looking back on it often saying, ‚Äúive never cum so much.‚ÄĚ ¬†I stopped dating for years trying to get life together, and this fuckingNot testing bullshit is beyond stupid considering all of the serious health complications from HSV1 and 2.¬†
    • LightafterDarkness
      Thanks @WilsoInAus   Day +43: Another inspection from the doctor and he is not seeing anything; also a dermatologist in the clinic takes a look. Doctor also is skeptical that cut on left butt check is anything to be concerned about. In the evening itchiness appears but its not too bad- i have noticed that perhaps the area is tender from the previous pain so any sort of touching sets off itchnyess. Speak with Doc and plan is to do a blood test around the 10 week mark. Im also down to 1g/day for Val and will be complete on Sunday. Day +44: itchyness continues but it comes and goes.
    • LightafterDarkness
      Looks like the fundraiser just passed the $25k mark. At some point this money starts to become really meaningful (e.g., $50k may pay for one additional person to work in the lab etc). Also its a signal from the community that there is alot of interest in a cure via gene therapy. http://engage.fredhutch.org/site/TR?px=1709211&fr_id=1574&pg=personal    
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.