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I am hsv2+ and need opinions about my relationship, feeling guilty and gross.

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So my boyfriend and I have been together for five months. I got tested back before we slept together and of course they didnt check for hsv. Everything else came back clean. I have been working as an exotic dancer (stripper) since like a month into our relationship and he was okay with it. About a month ago we started not using condoms and a week later we both had an "outbreak" at the same time. This was both new and shocking to us because I know for 100% fact that he was clean. Hes not the kind to sleep around and he hadn't been in a relationship for years before me and even then hes crazy about condoms and safe sex. I got mine swabbed and it came back positive. I took medicine and we never really knew if his was herpes or razor burn. 

I feel like I had to have gotten it from the club (I do not have sexual contact with customers but there were a couple incidents where a customer touched me without my consent and I cried to my boyfriend and told him immediately both times). My doctor said that I very well could have gotten it from that if the customer touched himself before touching me... I feel awful and so disgusting. I no longer dance because it made me realize how risky it is.. 

My boyfriend doesn't seem to care.. he was planning on buying me an engagement ring the week that we had the outbreak and he still did. He said it doesn't change anything and it's not a big deal, but I feel so guilty about it. I'm still having a little irritation after we have sex, and I dont have any symptoms anymore other than just being sensitive if we go too long. I will be crushed if he has these horrible problems, or even worse, gets it on his mouth.. he went down on me the week that we had the outbreak before we knew what it was. I am soooo freaking scared. He doesn't care to get it. He said if I have it, we have it and theres no point in trying to avoid him getting it because he probably already has it and we want a baby in the next year or so.. I just feel extremely guilty about the entire thing.  

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Hey @Angie040417 hope you’re going ok.

Note that it is not feasible that you obtained herpes from a touch from a customer.

The most rational explanation with the fewest assumptions is almost invariably the correct one. This explanation for you is that your partner has HSV-2 and based on his actions, quite probably knows this.

That said, there is much, much more to life that renders things such as a herpes infection largely irrelevant. Play your life and choose your actions with no reference to HSV

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    • Samantha1997
      And yes i have never done a hsv1 and i think i prefer not to do it cause if i have also the antibodies i would make myself more crazy about the topic that i am already... i have that in mind always of 2016 when i had the discomfort tmdown there and then i saw blisters on ex boyfriend WEIRD @WilsoInAus
    • Samantha1997
      @WilsoInAus it means a lot that u answered to me! Yes you are right i have been months like this.  Cause at first how does my gyn prescribe me a topica aciclovir when she told me she did not saw anything and then the second time she saws “blisters” which i dont and she prescribes valtrex oral.  Then i do the exams and are really onfusing. the dermatologist told me he did not see anything of herpes and also another gyn I went after the two times of going to my gyn of all life who told me and gave me the meds and he told me that i did not have blisters lor sores maybe they were varicose veins there. But id weird cause no one can tell me what is was. Why would it be red and itchy and ti gling on the same part as 2016? Right. And that many different exams wow
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      Hey @Samantha1997 this is all a bit confusing for you. I’m afraid that the best interpretation I can give right now is that you have a childhood HSV-1 oral infection that is producing erratic combined IgG test results. It would seem likely that you do not have a HSV-2 infection. And likely that you do not have genital herpes. However your suspicions need investigating. clarity could be achieved with the following: - a swab of a freshly emerging lesion - IgG testing that is type specific for HSV-1 and HSV-2.
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