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meg2

I guess I'm feeling a bit sad today. My herpes isn't horrible OB wise but I think I have been contemplating that wow... I actually have it. Even though I only found out two months ago. I guess some days are better than others emotionally.

I really want to get married one day and have kids and I just feeling this fucking bullshit has ruined that. It's like.. now I have to be so mindful. Clearly, I wasn't before and ultimately put myself in this situation. smh. I think I'm just having a bad day guys and need to vent here.

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Urgent
1 hour ago, meg2 said:

I guess I'm feeling a bit sad today. My herpes isn't horrible OB wise but I think I have been contemplating that wow... I actually have it. Even though I only found out two months ago. I guess some days are better than others emotionally.

I really want to get married one day and have kids and I just feeling this fucking bullshit has ruined that. It's like.. now I have to be so mindful. Clearly, I wasn't before and ultimately put myself in this situation. smh. I think I'm just having a bad day guys and need to vent here.

It will be ok we all make mistakes how did u find out

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LightafterDarkness

Its ok to feel like this and give yourself the space to process but remember (1) you are still an awesome person, (2) A cure / better treatments are hopefully around the corner

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meg2

@Urgent i hooked up with this guy and a few weeks later i was mad irritated in that area. Went to my ONGYN and she suspected herpes cuz i had small cuts on the outer part of my vag. My bloodwork showed positive for HSV 2 but one part of my bloodwork was negative meaning that i had recently been exposed but it didn’t full blown hit me so i guess in a sense i got it early enough. It still sucks cuz the dude told he he always gets checked and thought he was clean. Guess he really didn’t know or had 0 symptoms it’s hard to say. Either way it just sucks since i have this for life now. I feel like it ruins dating in the future. 

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Urgent
2 minutes ago, meg2 said:

@Urgent i hooked up with this guy and a few weeks later i was mad irritated in that area. Went to my ONGYN and she suspected herpes cuz i had small cuts on the outer part of my vag. My bloodwork showed positive for HSV 2 but one part of my bloodwork was negative meaning that i had recently been exposed but it didn’t full blown hit me so i guess in a sense i got it early enough. It still sucks cuz the dude told he he always gets checked and thought he was clean. Guess he really didn’t know or had 0 symptoms it’s hard to say. Either way it just sucks since i have this for life now. I feel like it ruins dating in the future. 

Sorry I totally understand I am also going through something similar however I am waiting for my test results I'm scared nervous but I'm preparing myself mentally hopefully I don't have it but if I do I'll just have to deal with it it's okay to look at yourself but don't look at yourself too long we all do things that we are not happy about what we have to move forward and plus I heard it's great ways to actually beat this thing or at least try to anyway you are soldier I'm sure you'll be okay! So do you plan on staying with the guy or are you just moving on by yourself?

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meg2

@Urgent I am sending positive vibes your way!! And yeah I have been trying to eat better and workout more. Luckily, since being diagnosed I really don't get bad outbreaks. Even my first one wasn't that bad, just really irritating. Now when I get my prodones like tingling I Just take my Valtrex for five days. I am actually not with him, it was a random hookup. Ever since I found out I have 0 interest in dating or sex lol. I literally have ignored a lot of people, I am just not ready. I haven't had sex in three months... plus I just feel like when I am ready to date again this makes it harder. 

I recently have jjust been trying to move forward the best I can. Me and my ex stopped speaking recently. We were together for two years but had been in a weird limbo the last year. But now he's dating his co wrker whos like 19 and he completely cut me off. Needless to say thats been hard to deal with as well. But I know I'll be okay. This site is so great for support!! 

 

How did u find out? Did you have any symptoms? 

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JP9

Wow. Reading your posts is like reading what I'm thinking aloud. We oddly are in the same situation. I rebounded with a guy who said he was 100% clean and got checked very recently, only protected sex since. I totally trusted him - so stupid to think that one 20-minute encounter could affect your life forever, lol. If the diagnosis wasn't already enough to deal with, the anxiety and depression caused by my recent breakup made everything 1000x worse.

I totally feel you with being uncomfortable with myself and not wanting to have sex or even venture out in the dating world. It's so scary. I used to have pride in my sexuality and feel confident in myself everywhere I go. That's changed - which is really shitty. Even though I've had very few partners, sex was a huge part of all of my relationships, sometimes the chemistry I had with someone would even blind me from seeing how wrong they were for me. That's why I kinda take this diagnosis as a blessing and a curse. It's shitty that it happened to me, but it's gonna force me to realize that sex isn't everything in relationships and establishing a true connection with someone should come way before intimacy.

Someone's gonna marry you and have kids with you and that person is gonna love every single part of you. Even the fact that you have H (weird to think, right?). We're still sexy, smart and worth equally as much as anyone else who doesn't have it. The stigma behind H is the worst part about it. Having it isn't shameful at all. I know people that got it from their first sexual encounter (the worst). It's just another shitty part of life that we have to face. If you ever wanna talk I'd love to. I'm still trying to grow and heal myself from this. ❤️

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meg2

@JP9 Wow!! Your post resonated with me so much! I almost cried reaching it TBH. I cannot agree more. I totally agree that if anything, it really is a blessing and a curse. I honestly was doing some wild shit which got me into this situation to begin with. But the blessing came from really forcing me to calm down.. because tbh I don't think I would have if this didn't happen to me. I think dating in the future is scary, like you said with the stigma behind the herp (lol) And disclosing in general. If anything, it has also taught me that if people do want to walk away from me because of it it's because they only wanted to have sex and nothing further.

 

I totally feel you on the anxiety and depression, especially the anxiety. Even though we weren't together the last year... it's so crazy how they say they still want you in their life and they'll never leave you. But then they do... it's awful.

We are all growing and healing, in our own ways. It's just part of the process ❤️ 

I would love to talk more! Feel free to message me any time! :) 

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Urgent
5 hours ago, meg2 said:

@Urgent I am sending positive vibes your way!! And yeah I have been trying to eat better and workout more. Luckily, since being diagnosed I really don't get bad outbreaks. Even my first one wasn't that bad, just really irritating. Now when I get my prodones like tingling I Just take my Valtrex for five days. I am actually not with him, it was a random hookup. Ever since I found out I have 0 interest in dating or sex lol. I literally have ignored a lot of people, I am just not ready. I haven't had sex in three months... plus I just feel like when I am ready to date again this makes it harder. 

I recently have jjust been trying to move forward the best I can. Me and my ex stopped speaking recently. We were together for two years but had been in a weird limbo the last year. But now he's dating his co wrker whos like 19 and he completely cut me off. Needless to say thats been hard to deal with as well. But I know I'll be okay. This site is so great for support!! 

 

How did u find out? Did you have any symptoms? 

I still don't know if I have it but I do have the sypmtoms. I still can't believe it! I talked to him today I haven't confronted him about it because I still don't have the test results back yet. I'm so pissed when I think about it because I feel like he knew I jus feel it in my heart when I get the results back and if there positive I'm going to confront him I'm mad at myself too because I was not in a stable relationship with this man I'm mad because he was not someone that I was in love with he was a mistake I wish I never met him but what can I do now. Ugh jus frustrated and pissed off 😠 I feel so stupid! Just can't believe THIS

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meg2

@Urgent omg if he did know that is so fucked up!! I hope that things turn out okay and that it is negative . It’s so crazy how a few minutes of pleasure can turn into this bullshit 🤦🏼‍♀️

It is totally understandable that you are angry! You have every right to be angry. Try to stay positive, i know it is easier said than done. 💞

 

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Urgent
20 minutes ago, meg2 said:

@Urgent omg if he did know that is so fucked up!! I hope that things turn out okay and that it is negative . It’s so crazy how a few minutes of pleasure can turn into this bullshit 🤦🏼‍♀️

It is totally understandable that you are angry! You have every right to be angry. Try to stay positive, i know it is easier said than done. 💞

Thanks for the support I really needed it 

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CheekyMunkey

I guess in a weird and twisted way its good and bad to know people out there are in a similar situation. Lets be positive eh :). I still need to get tested for HSV2 but I feel something is definitely is not right since my last encounter. It was with someone I slept with twice but it was never going to go anywhere. Feel the shame of it all, the anger, the anxiety At least if it was someone I was in a long term relationship with it would have meant something. I asked her afterwards if shes clean as I didnt feel right.  She said shes always been tested but they dont really test for HSV in the UK unless you show symptoms. She has never had symptoms. I believe her but I think she may have symptoms which she thinks is something else ( regular UTIs). 

She did say one line which has stuck with me ' If you sleep around with people you dont really know and its not a long term its always a risk. You just have to get on with it' lol. I dont know how to take that line but its 100% true. Irony is I just turned 40 and I still need to settle down. This has just made it even more difficult. 

Its been 7.5 weeks since my exposure. I want to test but I think I might as well just wait for week 12 for a definitive result. My symptoms are not consistent with others as in Ive never had any blisters/sores. Just constant tingling in hands/legs and a foggy head.  I remember having cold sores as a child  maybe 2 times or something. Canker sores 2 times too. So I must have HSV-1 already...Maybe I just caught it again but in the genitals. If my test comes back for HSV-1 Ill probably be none the wiser... This sucks! 

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Urgent
On 7/24/2019 at 6:26 AM, CheekyMunkey said:

I guess in a weird and twisted way its good and bad to know people out there are in a similar situation. Lets be positive eh :). I still need to get tested for HSV2 but I feel something is definitely is not right since my last encounter. It was with someone I slept with twice but it was never going to go anywhere. Feel the shame of it all, the anger, the anxiety At least if it was someone I was in a long term relationship with it would have meant something. I asked her afterwards if shes clean as I didnt feel right.  She said shes always been tested but they dont really test for HSV in the UK unless you show symptoms. She has never had symptoms. I believe her but I think she may have symptoms which she thinks is something else ( regular UTIs). 

She did say one line which has stuck with me ' If you sleep around with people you dont really know and its not a long term its always a risk. You just have to get on with it' lol. I dont know how to take that line but its 100% true. Irony is I just turned 40 and I still need to settle down. This has just made it even more difficult. 

Its been 7.5 weeks since my exposure. I want to test but I think I might as well just wait for week 12 for a definitive result. My symptoms are not consistent with others as in Ive never had any blisters/sores. Just constant tingling in hands/legs and a foggy head.  I remember having cold sores as a child  maybe 2 times or something. Canker sores 2 times too. So I must have HSV-1 already...Maybe I just caught it again but in the genitals. If my test comes back for HSV-1 Ill probably be none the wiser... This sucks! 

Sorry to hear that but I don't totally agree with her comment it could have been someone that u were involved with long-term and it happens shit happens end if story lol but people purposely infecting others us not cool I can't believe that I'm going through this right now. I feel so alone 😭 and afraid u keep saying what if ugh the struggle is real. This us seriously gonna effect my love life

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Sunflower07

This thread has hit so close to home. I recently was diagnosed with HSV2 from a one night stand and have been going through the same shame, guilt, anxiety, social withdrawal, and helplessness regarding being with anyone ever again. I  don’t date much anyway, but have zero interest in dating or missing hook ups. I truly cannot ever see myself being comfortable enough to disclose, and thus can’t see myself ever have sex, or a relationship, ever again. So much regret over one night!!!

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Screwed

Have you looked up 10 pass ozone therapy. There’s a slight chance to reverse the virus if treated as early as possible. I believe you should also drink structured silver. 

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Humanandthething
On 7/18/2019 at 4:50 AM, meg2 said:

@Urgent I am sending positive vibes your way!! And yeah I have been trying to eat better and workout more. Luckily, since being diagnosed I really don't get bad outbreaks. Even my first one wasn't that bad, just really irritating. Now when I get my prodones like tingling I Just take my Valtrex for five days. I am actually not with him, it was a random hookup. Ever since I found out I have 0 interest in dating or sex lol. I literally have ignored a lot of people, I am just not ready. I haven't had sex in three months... plus I just feel like when I am ready to date again this makes it harder. 

I recently have jjust been trying to move forward the best I can. Me and my ex stopped speaking recently. We were together for two years but had been in a weird limbo the last year. But now he's dating his co wrker whos like 19 and he completely cut me off. Needless to say thats been hard to deal with as well. But I know I'll be okay. This site is so great for support!! 

 

How did u find out? Did you have any symptoms? 

Hei meg... I was diagnose at feb 2018... But i know for sure i was get this virus at dec 2017. I was with this girl who i meet up in club. Only one night stand, after that day i feel itchy and my penis not the same.. But i let it pass i just think positive that i maybe just ussualy itchy. After that i had my 1st ob at the 2 weeks after i with this girl. And the ob need 6-8 weeks to healed. Then u have badly headache till i got allopecia, now its normal again on my hair. I go to drs, she give AV but i never take it till today, i dont want AV make my liver or kidney down.. So i take supplement till today. And everthing seem bettet than before.. Ob not pain tingling is so rare.. Rate at first time ob tingling everyday about 10rate. And now tingling like never comeback but somehow still there at 1 rate. 

No sex since diagnose at 2018 january

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