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kungfukenny

Learning to Live With HSV2

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kungfukenny

I was diagnosed with HSV2 about two months ago now and am still trying to learn to cope with it. I flip between feeling sad about having it, and feeling angry at myself. I’m a 20 year old girl in college and it just feels so hard to lead a normal dating life after getting my diagnosis. I haven’t been on any dates since testing positive, but I am supposed to go on one soon & I notice myself feeling a lot of guilt about not having disclosed my diagnosis to them yet. I know that it’s none of their business until I choose to have sex with them, but I just can’t help but feel like they’ll feel like their time has been wasted when I tell them & that they won’t want to pursue any type of relationship with me. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to go about dating when you’re newly diagnosed, and also how to cope with all the emotions I’m feeling in general?

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WilsoInAus

Hey @kungfukenny welcome to the website. How did you find out you were infected? Which tests came back positive for you?

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kungfukenny
6 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

Hey @kungfukenny welcome to the website. How did you find out you were infected? Which tests came back positive for you?

I started noticing symptoms about 2 weeks after having sex with someone, so I went to get tested & they did a culture test. I came back a week later to get my results and they told me I was positive for HSV2

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WilsoInAus
2 minutes ago, kungfukenny said:

I started noticing symptoms about 2 weeks after having sex with someone, so I went to get tested & they did a culture test. I came back a week later to get my results and they told me I was positive for HSV2

If the sexual encounter involved oral sex, very worthwhile checking that the swab was properly typed. Many culture swabs are not typed but assumed to be HSV-2 given the genital location.

The type may play a role in your disclosure approach and definitely impacts the proportion of guys you are concordant with.

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meg2

@kungfukenny I am in the same boat as you. I found out about two months ago as well... I have some days where I'm good and the next I'm still trying to cope. I totally understand the apprehensiveness of dating, I haven't wanted to  date or even have sex since finding out. Even though most of the time, my OB's are extremely mild, I'm stil apprehensive about sex because I don't want to pass it to anyone. 

For me, I try to take it one day at a time. I know it sounds cliche, but sometimes it works. I also try to look at it as you know, we didn't go out looking for this. It unfortunately ,just happened, even though it is really common. The person who gave it to me had no idea, so it's not his fault but part of me wished I could go back that night and not have sex at all. 

Feel free to message me if you need a friend, we are in it together! :) 

 

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