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So confused


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I’ve posted a couple of times and have had lots of good advice and support from everyone here and I thank you for that.

ok, so the reason I’m confused is after being told by my GP that I had Herpes and to go to the sexual health clinic and the nurse at the clinic saying the same I have today finally managed to speak with someone at the clinic for the results of my swab test.  I was tested for other sti’s as well as herpes as this is standard practice.  All of my results are negative except for the one for herpes which came back saying they used the wrong swab so the lab couldn’t test it (??).  The advice I was given as I am in a long time relationship and my partner has no symptoms dispite  us having sex during my first outbreak about a month ago (I didn’t know there was anything wrong at that point) was to carry on as normal and if I get another outbreak go straight in for another swab test.  As for dangers to my partner the nurse said he will most certainly have it if we had sex during my outbreak and if he hasn’t had an outbreak then he will already have been infected prior to this and can’t be reinfected. Her parting shot was that is if this is herpes, there are a number if things that present like this.

i know there’s a lot of questions there but does this sound even plausible to anyone, I’m so confused and not really knowing what to do for the best.

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Hey @Candycotton that all sounds flippant from the doctor. But it is what it is.

I’m sorry but there’s just no data here at all.

It would be best for you both to obtain IgG testing and compare results. You can then decide what further tests you might need or it may shut the issue down with negatives across the board.

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Thank you for your quick reply, as you say it all sounds flippant and I have no answers.

im going to have to have another go at the doctor for these blood test, I don’t hold out much hope.

wish me luck 

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    • Nameshame
      @WilsoInAus do you really thing that above my symptoms are Herpes related? Or it may because of Herpes zoster shingles? Bcz of this my Igm is positive?
    • Nameshame
      @WilsoInAus i requested my partner, but they are refusing from testing and saying they dint had any symptoms. Now the only way i left is to wait untill 12 weeks window period right? I am not getting what to do in this case. Any suggestion for any other tests?
    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
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