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Don't wait to break up because they accepted you


Labscientist

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I had a fiance. He was actually the first guy I ever had to disclose to after my ghsv2 diagnosis. And he accepted me and it wasn't a big deal and we ended up not using protection and pretty much had a normal sex life except when I had my minor symptoms. But there were many times in the relationship that I knew I should have left him. But especially in the beginning I admit, I was desperate and was happy to have someone love me. Looking back, all the times he yelled at me or made me cry makes me so angry. Because I know that it was the fear of having to date again with hsv that kept me there. Finally I am free (sort of) of him. Now he is harassing my friends and family desperately trying to get me back ( he is mentally unstable and codependent) but he has now gotten to the point where he is telling my friends (via one of my friends boyfriends) that I gave him herpes. Which very well may not be true, by the way. But very inappropriate regardless. Also, he gave me HPV ( no symptoms just an abnormal pap) , but he also was telling people I gave him hpv. Ahh, just wonderful, my desperate lying asshole of an ex. 

But, my point is, to anyone out there, do not stay with someone you shouldn't because they accepted your diagnosis. I am as happy and relieved as ever just to be away from his emotional vampirism. Is it a little scary thinking about future disclosure? Sure. But just remember you have a great personality to back you up and that is what matters. I know there will be a right person out there who will understand that the majority of the population has it. It's to the point where the differences between hsv1 and hsv2 are practically meaningless since they can happen in either mouth or genital and really anywhere on your body, so the statistic might as well be combined in saying that the majority of the WORLD population has either one or both. 

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You will find someone so much better. I always learned from others. Rejection is hard, and remember back how the guys were not always a match right away. Thanks for the update!

((((Tight hugs))))

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    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
    • Possiblehypercon11
      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
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