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I knew eventually I would have to feel this feeling I’m feeling now I just didn’t know how bad it would hurt ! I haven’t even had sex with this guy wanted to ... we’ve kissed ... I’ve gave him oral .... touched a little .... don’t know how much of a risk that put him at but I just felt like I couldn’t hold it in anymore ..... so I said it jokingly.. that he probably shouldn’t come to my because I think I had Herpes he said it didn’t bother him unless i gave it to him ..... for a second I thought we could still be friends but for the last couple of days he’s being treating me like sht and I understand I have so much to say but he doesn’t wanna hear it I  I wanna explain transmission rates and tell my story on how I just found Out i don’t think I can ever disclose again how do you guys do ittttt this sucks 😢 

Edited by Court
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The biggest question here is which type of HSV do you have? I'm no expert obviously, but from what I've read on this forum so far and what I've researched, OHSV1/GHSV1 and GHSV2 are different when it comes to transmission. 

I can't speak on issues like this too much, because of my own personal mess-ups (both STD related and non-STD related)... but I can say that if I was in his position, I would be upset that you didn't tell him upfront, especially if you knew you had HSV initially (especially if this is someone you actually see a future of having some sort of relationship with, etc.. not sure where you guys stand on that). It's a sensitive subject for sure, but just being open and honest about it is probably the best thing to do, for all parties involved. Maybe reach out to him in a couple of days and explain your situation, hopefully he'll listen. Best of luck on this! I really do hope everything works out!

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I have hsv2 and I found out about it a few months ago when I found out I didn’t tell him every detail because my doctor said she didn’t believe I put him at any risk but I did tell him I had something and I was contagious and If he wanted to still come around me that we couldn’t do anything sexual he agreed but it’s different ig when you know exactly what I’m talking about ... I don’t wanna be the person I hate basically I don’t wanna put anyone through what I’m doing through 

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And everyone keeps saying be open and honest yes it’s the right thing to do and most of us aren’t careless and heartless like the people we got it from but damn I’m feeling like now maybe I should have just disappeared and stopped talking to him all together 

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1 minute ago, Court said:

Yes I’ve gotten blood test and it was positive (igg

But low positive and a negative swab? Be really good to progress to the WB or repeat the IgG testing.

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Ik but I can literally see it and feel it could It be something similar? They really don’t want to continue testing me I’ve been told by several doctors the numbers don’t matter 

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@Court they sure do matter. I think it best to find a doctor who understands. With a negative swab and low positive (HSV-2) competent doctors would recommend a WB.

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    • CHT
      Hey Jeremy.... I know only too well that emotional pain you are feeling.... I really do.... and many of us on this site also know that pain.  It's not so much the physical side of having HSV that hurts, it's the stigma and risk of rejection that stings like hell!  You have to do what you think is right as it relates to when you disclose your HSV status when getting to know someone romantically.... I just think it's best to do it relatively early, and certainly before any sexual activity.   Have you looked into dating sites that cater to those with HSV?  I know others have had some luck with meeting partners on these sites.... you don't have to worry about the "disclosure" talk nor would you obviously have to worry about passing along a virus the other person already has.... take a few minutes and search around and see if it's an option you like. By the way, by taking your daily antiviral med and using a condom, your risk of passing along the virus is down around 1.9%.... pretty good odds that if you stick to your regimen you are very unlikely to transmit the virus....keep that in mind when you meet your next girlfriend and need to have "the talk."  That statistic might help calm any concerns about contracting the virus from you. I hope you don't give up.... as tough as it can be to find the right partner, it's still worth trying.... try to stay optimistic and look into some alternate options and see what happens.... all the best.... take care.
    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
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