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Guilt, Shame, and Confusion

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I've yet to be diagnosed. Results of blood test tomorrow. I've had one sore on the side of my penis head for two weeks. Discomfort developed a few hours after a second round of very vigorous sex with my girlfriend. I dismissed it as chaffing or contact dermatitis. It was only upon further looking a few days later that I noticed the bump. 

I've been examined by two doctors - both expressed that they think I'm ok, but cant seem to tell me what else it might be. The second doctor's approach was to be aggressive - he put me on an antibiotic, antif fungal cream, and Famciclovir while I wait for results. 

I've already noticed so much conflicting information available, and I already feel like I know more than my doctors. Their knowledge seems to consist of what they read off of the same cdc websites that come up from a google search. 

The bump is extremely small - if not for the discomfort, I'm not sure I would've even noticed it. And I'm a bit of a hypochondriac - I notice everything. 

I've had the discomfort for two weeks today. It has not filled with any fluid/broken open/scabbed over etc. I thought the discomfort was subsiding, but seems to have resurfaced a bit. Not sure if it's related to particular clothes that I wear. 

And it's so hard to separate actual symptoms from imagined symptoms. 

So did an outbreak develop that quickly after being with my girlfriend? I understand average incubation is roughly within two weeks of exposure. I understand that it can lie dormant for long periods of time - but I wonder how common this is. 

I know I cant be diagnosed on here, but would appreciate any feedback/input. 

The idea of a life of strictly condom sex is depressing. The idea of having these conversations with my partner is frightening. 

I could never do anything to hurt myself - it's against everything I stand for. But I almost wish that I could. 

Not fishing for any sympathy - just input. 

glad to have come across this board. 

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    • WilsoInAus
      @LoneWolf let's assume for a moment that you have HSV-2. This would then mean that he is at risk genitally of being infected with HSV-2. His oral HSV-1 cannot be assumed to provide any protection. 'Suppressive' use of antivirals and condoms are what reduces risk to him. You actually have greater protection from HSV-1, HSV-2 just works that way with good cross reaction against HSV-1. In terms of your swab, ask if it was PCR or culture. If PCR then it was typed so ask them which type was detected. If culture ask if an immunofluoresence test was applied to the positive culture. If it wasn't then there was no typing. Of course make sure the swab was indeed positive for HSV in the first place. If type isn't clear from the swab, then request a blood test for IgG antibodies type specific for HSV-1 and HSV-2.
    • LoneWolf
      @WilsoInAus that’s what I thought also, like wow how rude BUT he did tell me he'd understand if I didn’t want to kiss him anymore. He said he felt bad because I kissed him and over the weekend he looked into it further and came  to this conclusion.  So if him and I have different types then what’s the possible outcome, we both infect each other with the strain we don’t have yet? Also, if I call my doctor to try to get specifics on the test results(which I hope they still have), is there anything in particular I need to ask for?    I’ve moved states since my initial outbreak. Moving forward and getting tested again, what do I and  he need to ask for specifically to make sure we get specific results? Also, about how much do these tests run for? I’m assuming insurance doesn’t cover any of it. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @LoneWolf this makes it imperative for you to understand type through a blood test. It sounds like your swab was not typed (or maybe the doc could check the detail). It is funny that it is OK for him to expose you to HSV-1 after disclosure but not for him to accept risk the other way! What you say is true segregated for type. This means it is actually advantageous if you both have the same HSV type, that is, HSV-1 in this instance. This is because your immune system prevents further infection, being so termed 'concordant' is the best position to be in. Note that this does not work if one partner has HSV-2 and the other HSV-1. Thus you need to find out your type for the best outcome here. It would be a shame for this breakup to happen if you are actually concordant. 
    • LoneWolf
      Hello all, I’m hoping for some clarification, hope, and even some “scientific” proof of some sort. It’s been about two years or so since I had my initial outbreak on my vulva. Yes I went to my doctor, yes I got swabbed but no, I never got specific answers on my diagnosis. All I was told was that I had herpes. Well obviously dating has been a little rough but I thought there was hope. So I’ve gone on a couple of dates with an amazing guy, we have a great time together. On our second date, he discloses to me that he has had cold sores on his lips since he was a kid and that he wanted to let me know before we ever got to kissing. I told him I could relate and explained my story to him. He was open and accepting, we agreed on using condoms whenever we get to that point UNTIL today that the topic was brought up again. Today he told me he did a little more research after I encouraged him to do so, then told me that he read he could get herpes on his penis from me and so now we could date but without sex.    Well, sex is a big thing for me because it creates a different sort of bond, it’s a very connecting moment and he knows my opinion on sex. He’s told me he understands if I don’t want to continue anything with him because of my views on sex. I am seriously hurting pretty badly after the conversation and I don’t know how to respond.  I could have sworn that that sort of transmission wasn’t a thing. Also, I thought once you have herpes, you can’t get a second initial outbreak on another location. Please correct me if I’m wrong and please give me some sort of link or something that gives me more information on transmission. I know it may be difficult to help me since neither of us know what exact strain we have. But I’m hoping maybe for some clarification, maybe some information that can possibly make him feel comfortable with protected sex.    This is devastating, please help 
    • dont quit!17
      this med and valtrex can be close to a functional cure
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