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disclosing herpes after sex


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How do i get the guy that im dating to forgive me for not telling him i have herpes before we had sex? i know he just needs some space right now. i wanna rebuild the trust between us and show him im trustworthy. 

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Honestly you can't call yourself trustworthy if you never disclose to him from the start. You have to face the results of your own action and hopefully he forgives you. If he doesn't then move on and learn from your mistake. 

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yes, i know your right. i wish i told him from the start cause he deserved to know. i was only diagnosed 5 months ago, still havent come to terms with it. and i was scared of being rejected. i was ashamed.  thought he wouldnt want to be with me if he knew

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The best advice that I can give is to wait and see. There's nothing much that we can do to help. It all comes down to your bf decision which we had no control over it. Hope he forgives you and move on.

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yes, your right. i made a mistake and its his choice if he can forgive me or not. i learned my lesson thats for sure, to always be upfront no matter how hard it is. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 5 weeks later...

i had a similar situation! i say give them time to think and rebuilding their trust will take time. i found it very important to educate myself well so i could then educate my partner, and not just let them google it and read the first thing off the internet. hold your head high! its hard dealing with the stigma of hsv

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
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