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Mackenzie

Love is TRICKY

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Mackenzie

Hello! 

So I am 99% sure I have HSV2. My ex boyfriend and I first started dating in highschool and were together for 2.5 years, the only reason we broke up was because of long distance and never really stopped communication feelings are still there for the both of us. During those times, I had tried new relationships and had been with people I trusted.

Now that I am back home we had been on a few dates and everything is just like how it used to be. We haven't had sex since i've been home (thank god) and recently started having symptoms of herpes, got tested and bam positive for HSV2. I am extremely positive I got it from one the guys I had been with at college, one of them had said he just got tested and was clear and the other got tested but is being an ass saying he doesnt have symptoms and if he does have it, its because of me (real mature...)

The real dilemma is, how in the world am I suppose to tell him and anyone reading this how have you told your SO or new partner about this disease... My heart is breaking, but I am being positive and am a huge believer in everything happens for a reason so whatever outcome happens i am ready to make the best of it. 

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davidis

Hey Mackenzie - welcome to the site! And sorry for the delayed response.

It sounds like you already have a really healthy approach to all of this, which I can say from my own similar experience helped me get back to normal and even got me learning a ton about myself in the process. 

I think one thing that might help with explaining this to him is firstly to not put the onus on yourself alone, it's a really common thing to have happen and at first it can definitely feel like something you got for making bad decisions - but really it's just some bad luck and you shouldn't blame yourself for getting it.

If you're going to disclose this to him, my approach has always been to not treat it like a world-ending, sex-destroying virus from hell and just treat it as it actually is - a really harmless skin condition that may or may not show up again.

It sounds like the two of you already have a strong connection, and this is just my biased opinion, but usually that leads to a lot more understanding and sympathy than you would find trying to explain this to someone you've just met. So just read up on how to avoid transmission (at least for the first six months) and then after that the rate goes way, way down and becomes a lot less scary.

This has turned into a novel 😐so if you have any other questions feel free to shoot me a message - I've had a lot of experience dating with herpes (seven-ish years) and I'm happy to offer any advice.

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