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LemonDifficult

A happy ending (or beginning?)

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LemonDifficult

I’ve been a frequent visitor of this site for awhile. The times when I feel down about my H+ status, I have come here to read stories of hope and happy endings, and I feel a lot better and reassured. 

So, I finally made and account because I wanted to share my happy story! 

I was diagnosed with GHSV2 about 5 years ago. While I’ve been with and disclosed to two partners about my status since then, they had already told me that they had been with women previously who had the same diagnosis, so I wasn’t nervous to disclose my status to them after finding that info out. 

Neither of those relationship panned out. When I felt like I was ready to date again the thought of having to have the disclosure convo to another person made me so anxious! Like sick to my stomach, losing sleep kind of anxious. What if my status is a dealbreaker? And all the other worst case scenarios.  But I haven’t let this stop me from dating in the past, and I didn’t want to let that stop me from dating now. And I met a guy who is amazing: funny, kind, thoughtful, smart, understanding, and curious about me and what makes me happy. The more time we spent together( and the more I developed my interest in him), the more anxious I got to give the talk

We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks and the physical chemistry is definitely there (kissing, touching over the clothes). But I would not let myself take it any farther with him until I had the disclosure talk. 

Heading into our date last night, I knew that I couldn’t wait any longer to have the convo I had so been dreading. When I felt like the time was right, I finally gave my “spiel” and I was so relieved to get it out of the way, I honestly didn’t care if he rejected me at that point. I was proud of myself for doing something difficult and flexing my integrity muscle. Well, He actually got emotional, thanking me for putting his health and well-being above mine and told me this doesn’t change anything, in fact he said that me being open about my status before being intimate made him like me even more! He asked questions about how H effects me and was even curious about my experience dealing with the stigma. It went way way better than I anticipated, and we have plans to spend this upcoming weekend together! 

Whether or not it works out with him, I’m proud of myself. For those that are even thinking about having this conversation ahead of time, you should be proud of yourselves too. This is not an easy conversation to have and it shows a tremendous amount of character. 

Thank you to this community for sharing your stories. Hoping my story can help others during times of hopelessness that I too have experienced. 

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Cas9
4 hours ago, LemonDifficult said:

I’ve been a frequent visitor of this site for awhile. The times when I feel down about my H+ status, I have come here to read stories of hope and happy endings, and I feel a lot better and reassured. 

So, I finally made and account because I wanted to share my happy story! 

I was diagnosed with GHSV2 about 5 years ago. While I’ve been with and disclosed to two partners about my status since then, they had already told me that they had been with women previously who had the same diagnosis, so I wasn’t nervous to disclose my status to them after finding that info out. 

Neither of those relationship panned out. When I felt like I was ready to date again the thought of having to have the disclosure convo to another person made me so anxious! Like sick to my stomach, losing sleep kind of anxious. What if my status is a dealbreaker? And all the other worst case scenarios.  But I haven’t let this stop me from dating in the past, and I didn’t want to let that stop me from dating now. And I met a guy who is amazing: funny, kind, thoughtful, smart, understanding, and curious about me and what makes me happy. The more time we spent together( and the more I developed my interest in him), the more anxious I got to give the talk

We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks and the physical chemistry is definitely there (kissing, touching over the clothes). But I would not let myself take it any farther with him until I had the disclosure talk. 

Heading into our date last night, I knew that I couldn’t wait any longer to have the convo I had so been dreading. When I felt like the time was right, I finally gave my “spiel” and I was so relieved to get it out of the way, I honestly didn’t care if he rejected me at that point. I was proud of myself for doing something difficult and flexing my integrity muscle. Well, He actually got emotional, thanking me for putting his health and well-being above mine and told me this doesn’t change anything, in fact he said that me being open about my status before being intimate made him like me even more! He asked questions about how H effects me and was even curious about my experience dealing with the stigma. It went way way better than I anticipated, and we have plans to spend this upcoming weekend together! 

Whether or not it works out with him, I’m proud of myself. For those that are even thinking about having this conversation ahead of time, you should be proud of yourselves too. This is not an easy conversation to have and it shows a tremendous amount of character. 

Thank you to this community for sharing your stories. Hoping my story can help others during times of hopelessness that I too have experienced. 

Great story!  Thanks for sharing.

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meg2

Thank you so much for sharing this, I was diagnosed four months ago and I have not been ready to date or have sex yet. I worry about when I am ready about having the disclosure talk, especially if I really hit it off with someone. My plan is to go about it like you have, to tell them way before anything physical happens. This story gives me hope, so thank you again for sharing! :)

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CookieSC

My experiences have been similar.  I found that more people will accept rather than reject a person for having HSV2. Sure, I've been through a couple of rejections and they've been really tough.  I went through one such rejection last night, which brought me here for comfort and strength.  I feel like it takes character to disclose having HSV and character to accept a person when they disclose it.  When someone accepts you despite having HSV, they most likely already like you, care about you, and see there could be a future with you.  Accepting each other's flaws is important in all relationships.  This is trial by fire for a future relationship, without a doubt.

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JHenry
On 8/8/2019 at 1:55 PM, LemonDifficult said:

I’ve been a frequent visitor of this site for awhile. The times when I feel down about my H+ status, I have come here to read stories of hope and happy endings, and I feel a lot better and reassured. 

So, I finally made and account because I wanted to share my happy story! 

I was diagnosed with GHSV2 about 5 years ago. While I’ve been with and disclosed to two partners about my status since then, they had already told me that they had been with women previously who had the same diagnosis, so I wasn’t nervous to disclose my status to them after finding that info out. 

Neither of those relationship panned out. When I felt like I was ready to date again the thought of having to have the disclosure convo to another person made me so anxious! Like sick to my stomach, losing sleep kind of anxious. What if my status is a dealbreaker? And all the other worst case scenarios.  But I haven’t let this stop me from dating in the past, and I didn’t want to let that stop me from dating now. And I met a guy who is amazing: funny, kind, thoughtful, smart, understanding, and curious about me and what makes me happy. The more time we spent together( and the more I developed my interest in him), the more anxious I got to give the talk

We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks and the physical chemistry is definitely there (kissing, touching over the clothes). But I would not let myself take it any farther with him until I had the disclosure talk. 

Heading into our date last night, I knew that I couldn’t wait any longer to have the convo I had so been dreading. When I felt like the time was right, I finally gave my “spiel” and I was so relieved to get it out of the way, I honestly didn’t care if he rejected me at that point. I was proud of myself for doing something difficult and flexing my integrity muscle. Well, He actually got emotional, thanking me for putting his health and well-being above mine and told me this doesn’t change anything, in fact he said that me being open about my status before being intimate made him like me even more! He asked questions about how H effects me and was even curious about my experience dealing with the stigma. It went way way better than I anticipated, and we have plans to spend this upcoming weekend together! 

Whether or not it works out with him, I’m proud of myself. For those that are even thinking about having this conversation ahead of time, you should be proud of yourselves too. This is not an easy conversation to have and it shows a tremendous amount of character. 

Thank you to this community for sharing your stories. Hoping my story can help others during times of hopelessness that I too have experienced. 

Great story, not sure how I missed it—congrats and best of luck, let us know how it works out.  Henry.

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CookieSC

I'm glad I came back to read your story.  It's given me some hope.  I'm struggling so much with it today.  I needed to read this again.  So, thank you for writing about your happy beginning and thank you to JHenry for commenting which triggered the notification that brought me back here.  I really needed this today.

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