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To all of you and the support you have given

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There are many of you who have read my posts and offered your support whether it was in a kind manner or a kick in the ass to get me out of the despair I was feeling. Thank you each and every one of you for caring.

Most of you who have been here before me know what I have been going through. There has been a lot of unhappiness the past few years in my life that lead me to a one night stand that started a chain of events that had given me almost constant suicidal thoughts.

Two weeks after the one night stand I started having symptoms I had never had before and everything I had read and the pictures I had seen all indicated it could be ghsv. Just the thought of the possibility was too much for me to cope with. I lost 3 months of living life because I didn't get a definitive diagnosis as to what was going on with me. I'm glad I kept telling myself not to do anything stupid without knowing for certain if it was ghsv otherwise I might not be here today.

The second week of my symptoms I finally called the gyn and said I might have contracted genital herpes and had a culture done that came back negative. I assumed it was a false negative and the symptoms went on for another 4 1/2 weeks. Little did I know that my doctor hadn't tested for all possible causes. I had one symptom free week and it all started again. I took the samples of Famvir she gave me and it didn't help. I filled the prescription for Valtrex, as humiliating as it was, and it didn't help.

I decided to go back and get checked again because things were different the second time around thinking I would get another culture done. My gyn wasn't in that day and I had seen the PRN instead. Her first impression was that I had vulvar yeast infection and treated me for it. She saw nothing that looked like herpes so she didn't test for it since I had already tested negative with a culture and with a blood test at 7 weeks. For the first time in 10 weeks I actually got relief and it was almost immediate, after the first 24 hours I knew this treatment was working.

I had another blood test for type2 on Dec 17 which was 13 1/2 weeks out from possible exposure and tested negative again. The first time was .08<.90 and this second test was .06<.90. I feel very confident at this point that I do not have ghsv. I have however learned a lot about this virus and I am much more informed than I was. I cannot believe the fear of having this could take such a toll on me.

I owe so many of you an apology for having so much concern for my life. I don't know where I would be today if I had actually tested positive but I do think the support I got here on this forum got me through one day at a time and I thank you all who were there for me.

Those of you who live with this are so much stronger than I will ever be and I hope that it eases for those of you who suffer so terribly with your OB's. I will hold on to hope that they come up with something to stop this menacing virus sometime in the near future or at least in our childrens future so that others don't have to deal with the physical and mental anguish that comes with this diagnosis.

Aside from feeling very foolish having gone so long without a diagnosis, I am very grateful to those who participate on this forum to lend their support to others. Thank you Angel eyes, Caliope, Writercll, Shayna,

and anyone else I can't think of at the moment, but especially to you Claudia for your unwavering support and strength.

As much as I'd like to put this place behind me I just might drop in once in awhile to give something back to this community. I want to wish everyone of you a very Happy Holiday Season and hope it's as good for you as it will be for me. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

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Helied2me, your good news is like a Christmas present! I'm so relieved that you can put all this behind you now. We'll miss you, but in a good way, if you know what I mean. And anytime you need another kick in the ass, you know where to find me, okay? ;)

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Hello, friend.

I'm so glad to hear your news!!!

I am proud of you for putting one foot in front of the other, as hard as it was, and staying with us. You were able to handle much more than you told us you could in those early posts. I know you didn't like it, and you didn't entirely want to do it, but you did, and now you are back in the light.

I see so much strength in you.

Have a wonderful holiday with your children.



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