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Frusteratedddd


meg2

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Soo I had a conversation with the person who I'm about 95% sure gave me herpes. After I was diagnosed back in May, I texted him to let him know and that he should get tested asap. I also let him know that if anything comes up, to let me know. Fast forwarded to yesterday, he recently has been reaching out to me to start a conversation. I'm not sure why. Anyway, I brought it up and asked him if he ever got tested. He told me he did and that he was all good, and asked what I meant by that because I thought they tested me for everything. I told him they did... but I was just asking. It seems like he got defensive. However, I didn't specifically ask if he got a routine screen with a herpes test or just a regular screen without one. I got really overwhelmed... angry, sad, etc. and just didn't even reply to the last thing he said because it was upsetting.
 

He kept insisting that he's clean and he wasn't lieing that after we had sex that he was clean. Even after I told him, he said he had 0 symptoms and didn't notice anything. He said if he did, he would of never had sex with me that day. I tried to inform him that sometimes you can be asymptomatic and not even know you have it. Even after my swab/bloodwork came back positive... luckily, I only get prodones of tingling every once in awhile since my original diagnosis. So far so good. Granted, as I've said before one part of my bloodwork was negative. But  I obviously know I have it because my OB did a swab of the small cuts and from reading my results it said positive. I guess I'm just frustrated with him... but maybe he really didn't know. It's hard to tell. I'm just venting :(

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My opinion..he already knew he had it.  If someone sends you a text and says "you may want to get tested".  I would think, they would be making a bee line to get tested.

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A lot of narcissistic people out there.  My ex-husband gave it to me, as he was hooking up in the bars.  We are divorced now, and he is still hooking up in the bars.  Take this next year to figure out what works for you.  It gets better.

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Thank you so much for the support! Since i found out i have def used this year to calm down and just focus on myself and deal with everything on my own. I’m so sorry that happened to u :( but it’s so nice to talk to someone who gets it!

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Meg, I'm so sorry.  I know how that feels.  I was with a man who had a similar attitude.  There are people who choose to ignore or dismiss not only the signs of the infection but the test results, as well.  Saying he was "all good" could be his way to avoid telling an outright lie such as, "I got tested and I'm negative." It is so stigmatized that a lot of people are in denial that they have it.  I'm sure Burroughs Wellcome didn't anticipate that their marketing strategy to stigmatize herpes in the 1970s would have such a rebound effect as to chase people away from a diagnosis...and from becoming a customer.  Drug companies ...nice to see some karma visited upon one of the predators.

 

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@CookieSC hi. I appreciate the feedback. At first i really thought he didn’t know but after having that conversation with him yesterday, i think he did. I hate to assume things but besides yesterday after we had that same conversation i literally didn’t hear from him. And I’m like.. that’s sketchy and makes no sense. It’s so upsetting i put myself in that situation :(. The stigma is the worst part. Worrying about my future relationships is also one of the worst parts. I hate the anxiety along with it. 

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They live in denial! The guy who gave it to me still denies it to this day and turned so nasty with me when I was diagnosed. He kept saying he had been tested for everything etc etc. Then he got paranoid and actually got tested but for the wrong type and it came back negative. He sent me a horrible message saying " I feel sorry for you, good luck finding out who gave you herpes". I told him to come back to me when he got the right test and it showed negative. So far he hasn't! Just ignore that idiot and know you are a better person than he will ever be! 

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@G77 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you!! Exactly why i stopped replying to him i just couldn’t deal. So crazy cuz I’m literally like there is no other person BUT YOUU. So frustrating !! 

Omg that’s so awful what a fucking asshole smh. Fuck them ! 

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