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Shoegirl

Alone forever...

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Shoegirl

So I have been seeing a guy that I met online. We have only been going out for a week, but it seems like longer as we've gotten to know a lot about each other pretty quickly.

Last night I told him about my genital (HSV1) herpes. I think it really freaked him out. He said it does change things, but not necessarily how he feels about me. He said he wasn't gonna lie--it scared him a little. He said he wanted to do some research online to find out more about it before deciding if he wants to continue dating.

I just don't know if I can handle this anymore. I've put my heart out there a couple of times w/ this serious talk, and I've been hurt. I'm starting to fear I'll be alone forever b/c I can't seem to find someone who is willing to deal with it.

I'm getting to a "hopeless" point.

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20Tearz

I just found out that i have this i dont even kno which type i have yet. So i havent had to experience having "the talk" and reading everyone's posts about it im gettin worried... i've been in love with this guy for 5yrs... we recently broke up but are workin it out rite now and then i find this out... i havent been intimate with him and i will most definately tell him if/when we get to that.. and i was pretty confident that he would b confused but would b ok.... now im not so sure... But here is what helps me:::

You can and will live a healthy and relatively normal life, this is just a part of it now. It could have been worse, think about the ppl diagnosed with thing that are contagious and deadly... u think finding someone to be with ppl like us is hard... HIV is wat will really put a shut down on ya love life. Herpes wont kill you ((tho im learnin it is VERY uncomfortable)) so it must make you stronger. You are beautiful, you are talented, you hav a lot to offer anyone you choose to be with and only the one that is willing to look past this illness is worthy of all you hav to give. Dont give up hope.

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VVK

A week in is pretty fast...

I think that you shouldn't give up hope and don't rush to conclusions so quickly. I don't even know where you are in life, what your background is, or what your plans are. What I do know is that you deserve your own respect, first and foremost. Life isn't all about sex, HSV is not unmanageable, and there may be a solution to it sooner than you think.

You're a human being, your life has value, and if the guy chooses to part ways even after his 'research', then he's not the one for you. Finding the right guy isn't easy, regardless of HSV.

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alwaysalone

Yeah I totally agree you don't have to worry because no matter what things always kinda work themselves out. Having this is not the worst thing. There are a lot worse things in life that could happen. If this guy really loves you then it will work out just fine and if not, then he wasn't right for you in the first place. No one got this by choice and we can't control it. If he can't love you for who you are and see past the tings that are not in your control then you are much better off.

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Brucie

Being alone is a fearful thing for everybody. I've been married for over 25 yrs. and am fearful of this same situation occurring now that I have herpes. It could and it is hard to think about. I feel deeply your fear and pain. I can only offer sympathy and commiseration on these boards so do take care of yourself and forget about trying to find the right man. Take care of you first and don't try so hard and keep busy. It helps some, though it'll always be a part of your thoughts daily I'm sure. Get counseling or join a support group if there is one. Support is essential. Find it.

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