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Sex with positive partner yesterday- wait game

Laurenhelena

By Laurenhelena,
in Spreading and Preventing Herpes

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Laurenhelena Honeycomb Member

Laurenhelena

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I had sex with a guy with positive genital herpes yesterday the morning of 31st

 

now I know I’m going to be anxious for the next two weeks as I know that is when Herpes is likely to show up :/

we used a condom and he wasn’t having an outbreak and said that the condom covers where he normally gets a blister but a lot of what he said I knew wasn’t true about chances of getting herpes - he was trying to make out condoms 99% reduce risk when I know it’s knly 30% and yet I still had sex cause Of my own self sabotage nature

now im going to spend the next two weeks checking and looking out for itchy/ bumps/ pain urine / flu and being depressed and unable to focus with work 

i have already found a small barely visable bump on one Labia but I’ve had stuff like that before just praying it doesn’t develop :/

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elnino Established Member

elnino

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He is actually correct about the reduction in transmission risk offered by condom usage. You have essentially nothing to worry about, especially if he takes suppressive medication. 

From the Results section of the following paper:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4725379/

"We found that condoms were differentially protective against HSV-2 transmission by sex; condom use reduced per-act risk of transmission from men to women by 96% (P < .001) and marginally from women to men by 65% (P = .060)."

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Laurenhelena Honeycomb Member

Laurenhelena

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He is not on any meds

 

i just find all of the research conflicting - I’ve definitely seen many studies that say condoms only reduce by 30%

also there are so many website and even when I’ve been to see nurses that say “oh if you have herpes you’ll know cause of the pain” when online it says you can have no symptoms or mistake herpes for a ingrown hair?!

i don’t understand why this is being pushed down and no one seems to be taking it seriously as something that needs medical attention

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blurneworder Platinum Support Member

blurneworder

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7 minutes ago, Laurenhelena said:

i don’t understand why this is being pushed down and no one seems to be taking it seriously as something that needs medical attention

The rest of us wonder this, too.

In my opinion, HSV has been made the butt of so many jokes that has eliminated knowledge of what it can do to people.

It also doesn’t affect everyone equally, so we are more prone to hear about people who suffer with typical symptoms.

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alextheman Honeycomb Member

alextheman

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Ive always wondered,could you preemptively take anti-viral meds before you even thought you might catch the virus? Also would this even help to prevent you from catching it?

  • WilsoInAus and themotion
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WilsoInAus Platinum Support Member

WilsoInAus

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23 minutes ago, alextheman said:

Ive always wondered,could you preemptively take anti-viral meds before you even thought you might catch the virus? Also would this even help to prevent you from catching it?

No, antivirals prevent, but don’t eliminate, replication of DNA viral strands inside of a cell. They do nothing to stop stray virions with the virus DNA from obtaining entry to a cell.

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Laurenhelena Honeycomb Member

Laurenhelena

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So I’ve slept with this person three times with a condom

but I just think that I must still have it, the condom didn’t cover everything, and what of hand jobs? I’m sure I’ve read that friction triggers shredding.. I am just remembering having a lot of contact with his penis outside of protected sex and could have potentially passed it onto myself that way

 

and now I’m anxious that I’m asymptotic, even if I go past the 20 days of incubation from exposure, when I next start dating people what if I pass it on to them? In UK they don’t do blood test so I can’t find out. I can just imagine myself waiting for someone to ring me up and tell me I have given them herpes when I eventually start dating again 

 

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  • 9 months later...
Arabicguy Honeycomb Member

Arabicguy

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On 9/9/2019 at 3:14 AM, WilsoInAus said:

No, antivirals prevent, but don’t eliminate, replication of DNA viral strands inside of a cell. They do nothing to stop stray virions with the virus DNA from obtaining entry to a cell.

It could however reduce the amount of neurons infected by latent virus if taken early, there is no proof it can prevent virus from establishing latency. i don't think any doctor would prescribe it prophlyetically. That is not natural and cost effective

https://academic.oup.com/jid/article/184/8/964/808519

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  • Posts

    • CHT
      SUCCESS STORY: Herpes is an opportunity to built trust and connection through vulnerability.

      By CHT · Posted

      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      SUCCESS STORY: Herpes is an opportunity to built trust and connection through vulnerability.

      By Jeremy Spokein · Posted

      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Unsure if Herpes, awaiting swabs, need help

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By Lcj987 · Posted

      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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