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Asking Future Partners for Testing & Results? Your thoughts


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Hi Everyone!

Recently confirmed negative IgG at 12 weeks after having positive IgM at 5 weeks. The postitive IgM had me traumatised like you wouldn't believe. Now that I know I am negative and cleared of every STD known to man, I want to keep it that way - I never want to take advantage of my sexual health again!!!

What are your thoughts about asking any future partner to get tested for the standard STD panel + HSV and having them show their paperwork before agreeing to a sexual relationship? Do you find this ok to ask or is it unreasonable? Especially given that the majority of the population have HSV1?

One of my best friends recently went through a herpes scare also and we found ourselves having this conversation. She doesn't know if she could demand for someone to test for HSV while I'm thinking I will want to see results for HSV before anyone touches me. Is this cruel and unreasonable of me? I'm by no means saying I would never have a relationship with someone with HSV (I would if I liked/loved them) - it's just I want to make the choice for myself instead of someone hiding it from me...

What do you think about asking partners for paperwork showing their HSV/STD status? 

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Hey @Roxanne11 it is certainly your choice on whom you have sex with and under what circumstances.

Something you need to get used to though is that most guys will be positive for HSV-1. There will also be a number of guys with HSV-1 but no longer test positive for it as they've had the infection for 20-30+ years.

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1 minute ago, WilsoInAus said:

Hey @Roxanne11 it is certainly your choice on whom you have sex with and under what circumstances.

Something you need to get used to though is that most guys will be positive for HSV-1. There will also be a number of guys with HSV-1 but no longer test positive for it as they've had the infection for 20-30+ years.

Does that mean they are not shredding at all?

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5 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

Hey @Roxanne11 it is certainly your choice on whom you have sex with and under what circumstances.

Something you need to get used to though is that most guys will be positive for HSV-1. There will also be a number of guys with HSV-1 but no longer test positive for it as they've had the infection for 20-30+ years.

Agreed, I guess this is why I'm asking on other people's thoughts. This is the reason why my friend won't be asking future partners for their results. Thanks again Wilso!

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5 minutes ago, Tulip79 said:

Does that mean they are not shredding at all?

They are still shedding. Remember IgG antibodies are only one component of you immune system that addresses HSV. There are various t cells that roam your skin that probably plays a better role in reducing shedding.

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  • 1 year later...

You most definitely should be asking future partners for their test results. We all should have been doing that a long time ago tbh! You need to protect yourself because now that you have herpes you are at a higher risk of getting infected with HIV. Also other STDs are hell to go through, let alone with herpes on top of that. Do not think that everyone else is walking around with nothing going on! Put your health first by knowing sexual health status before sleeping with anyone. PERIOD. 

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