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Asking Future Partners for Testing & Results? Your thoughts


Roxanne11

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Hi Everyone!

Recently confirmed negative IgG at 12 weeks after having positive IgM at 5 weeks. The postitive IgM had me traumatised like you wouldn't believe. Now that I know I am negative and cleared of every STD known to man, I want to keep it that way - I never want to take advantage of my sexual health again!!!

What are your thoughts about asking any future partner to get tested for the standard STD panel + HSV and having them show their paperwork before agreeing to a sexual relationship? Do you find this ok to ask or is it unreasonable? Especially given that the majority of the population have HSV1?

One of my best friends recently went through a herpes scare also and we found ourselves having this conversation. She doesn't know if she could demand for someone to test for HSV while I'm thinking I will want to see results for HSV before anyone touches me. Is this cruel and unreasonable of me? I'm by no means saying I would never have a relationship with someone with HSV (I would if I liked/loved them) - it's just I want to make the choice for myself instead of someone hiding it from me...

What do you think about asking partners for paperwork showing their HSV/STD status? 

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Hey @Roxanne11 it is certainly your choice on whom you have sex with and under what circumstances.

Something you need to get used to though is that most guys will be positive for HSV-1. There will also be a number of guys with HSV-1 but no longer test positive for it as they've had the infection for 20-30+ years.

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1 minute ago, WilsoInAus said:

Hey @Roxanne11 it is certainly your choice on whom you have sex with and under what circumstances.

Something you need to get used to though is that most guys will be positive for HSV-1. There will also be a number of guys with HSV-1 but no longer test positive for it as they've had the infection for 20-30+ years.

Does that mean they are not shredding at all?

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5 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

Hey @Roxanne11 it is certainly your choice on whom you have sex with and under what circumstances.

Something you need to get used to though is that most guys will be positive for HSV-1. There will also be a number of guys with HSV-1 but no longer test positive for it as they've had the infection for 20-30+ years.

Agreed, I guess this is why I'm asking on other people's thoughts. This is the reason why my friend won't be asking future partners for their results. Thanks again Wilso!

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5 minutes ago, Tulip79 said:

Does that mean they are not shredding at all?

They are still shedding. Remember IgG antibodies are only one component of you immune system that addresses HSV. There are various t cells that roam your skin that probably plays a better role in reducing shedding.

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  • 1 year later...

You most definitely should be asking future partners for their test results. We all should have been doing that a long time ago tbh! You need to protect yourself because now that you have herpes you are at a higher risk of getting infected with HIV. Also other STDs are hell to go through, let alone with herpes on top of that. Do not think that everyone else is walking around with nothing going on! Put your health first by knowing sexual health status before sleeping with anyone. PERIOD. 

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    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
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    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
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      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
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