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moonchildx3

He’s in denial... or I’m crazy ... please HELP

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moonchildx3

it’s coming up on a year since I was infected by HSV1 down there... I am very careful about who I sleep with and I ended up having sex with a fucking pastor... we did it once with a condom. And the second time we didn’t have one. He had no signs of an outbreak or ANY symptoms on his penis... but the night we had sex, I woke up in the middle of the night and immediately had burning when I peed. I thought it could’ve been the beginning of an UTI because I didn’t pee after sex (which I usually do)... but then the next couple of days I was very sick. Flu like symptoms, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fever... then EXACTLY two weeks later the outbreak started ... I thought it was a hemorrhoid or discomfort due to the diarrhea... (sorry for the details but I’ve never been able to tell anyone and I need to free myself of this) ... so then the bumps came and I went to planned parenthood. She told me it didn’t look like genital herpes and it was probably just irritation from wiping ... the night after I left the clinic it got worst and I immediately knew... deep down. But I still kept faith. Until I got the call. I had HSV1. On my asshole. He gave me oral and TRIED ago put it in there but I wouldn’t let him. I only felt comfortable to tell him. And when I did he denied it and said there was no ya I got it from him and that he’d prove it. I forgave him. We never had sex again but he helps me out financially here and there and we meet for lunch/dinner now and then. He’s tried to have sex again but I always avoid it and make excuses on why I have to go home. Sooooo now I haven’t got an outbreak ever since the initial one... until a couple of weeks ago. I was drinking and was drunk and he was trying to play other my .... he licked his fingers and was attempting to finger me, asking if we could have sex... UNPROTECTED. but I moved his hand and again made an excuse on why I had to leave. Now two weeks after that day I’ve had another outbreak. Which brought back very harsh feelings and memories so I brought it up to him again bd told him. He still won’t admit he has it. He told me he would get tested since last year and prove me ring with the results. Still nothing. IS THERE ANY WHERE WE CAN GO TO GET IMMEDIATE RESULTS? I WILL PAY! I don’t want to wait and I don’t want him to try to lie or cover it up. Please help me. All fingers point at him, I wasn’t with anyone else around these times... why would he try to risk having unprotected sex wither if it wasn’t him? Please I need any advice.... this is killing me inside 

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moonchildx3

@WilsoInAus the initial test was a swab. Then I got a blood test a couple months later during routine testing that confirmed it as well. But for the blood test the doctor wouldn’t even say HSV1, they tried to sugar coat it and say “if u get cold sores treat it with blah blah blah...” and I knew what they were talking about but I don’t get cold sores... 

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WilsoInAus
4 hours ago, moonchildx3 said:

@WilsoInAus the initial test was a swab. Then I got a blood test a couple months later during routine testing that confirmed it as well. But for the blood test the doctor wouldn’t even say HSV1, they tried to sugar coat it and say “if u get cold sores treat it with blah blah blah...” and I knew what they were talking about but I don’t get cold sores... 

There seems little doubt here that the oral sex is the culprit for the transmission of an oral HSV-1 infection to your genital area.

This guy has an oral HSV-1 infection. He hence may be well aware as he quite possibly gets cold sores on his lips or remembers doing so when younger. He has probably carried the infection since childhood.

Some 70% of guys have an oral HSV-1 infection. As such it is safe to assume he has it under these circumstances given such high prevalence.

He also has pretty good immunity to any further infection such as to his genitals owing to his immune system response to the virus.

There actually isn't a lot to gain in having him 'prove' he has HSV-1. It seems a bit immature not to test for it or at the very least simply acknowledge the high likelihood he has it and was your source. Nevertheless there is no reason to allow herpes to feature in your thinking here around a sexual relationship. Judge that on whether this is something you can justify to yourself.

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