Jump to content

He’s in denial... or I’m crazy ... please HELP


Recommended Posts

it’s coming up on a year since I was infected by HSV1 down there... I am very careful about who I sleep with and I ended up having sex with a fucking pastor... we did it once with a condom. And the second time we didn’t have one. He had no signs of an outbreak or ANY symptoms on his penis... but the night we had sex, I woke up in the middle of the night and immediately had burning when I peed. I thought it could’ve been the beginning of an UTI because I didn’t pee after sex (which I usually do)... but then the next couple of days I was very sick. Flu like symptoms, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fever... then EXACTLY two weeks later the outbreak started ... I thought it was a hemorrhoid or discomfort due to the diarrhea... (sorry for the details but I’ve never been able to tell anyone and I need to free myself of this) ... so then the bumps came and I went to planned parenthood. She told me it didn’t look like genital herpes and it was probably just irritation from wiping ... the night after I left the clinic it got worst and I immediately knew... deep down. But I still kept faith. Until I got the call. I had HSV1. On my asshole. He gave me oral and TRIED ago put it in there but I wouldn’t let him. I only felt comfortable to tell him. And when I did he denied it and said there was no ya I got it from him and that he’d prove it. I forgave him. We never had sex again but he helps me out financially here and there and we meet for lunch/dinner now and then. He’s tried to have sex again but I always avoid it and make excuses on why I have to go home. Sooooo now I haven’t got an outbreak ever since the initial one... until a couple of weeks ago. I was drinking and was drunk and he was trying to play other my .... he licked his fingers and was attempting to finger me, asking if we could have sex... UNPROTECTED. but I moved his hand and again made an excuse on why I had to leave. Now two weeks after that day I’ve had another outbreak. Which brought back very harsh feelings and memories so I brought it up to him again bd told him. He still won’t admit he has it. He told me he would get tested since last year and prove me ring with the results. Still nothing. IS THERE ANY WHERE WE CAN GO TO GET IMMEDIATE RESULTS? I WILL PAY! I don’t want to wait and I don’t want him to try to lie or cover it up. Please help me. All fingers point at him, I wasn’t with anyone else around these times... why would he try to risk having unprotected sex wither if it wasn’t him? Please I need any advice.... this is killing me inside 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@WilsoInAus the initial test was a swab. Then I got a blood test a couple months later during routine testing that confirmed it as well. But for the blood test the doctor wouldn’t even say HSV1, they tried to sugar coat it and say “if u get cold sores treat it with blah blah blah...” and I knew what they were talking about but I don’t get cold sores... 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, moonchildx3 said:

@WilsoInAus the initial test was a swab. Then I got a blood test a couple months later during routine testing that confirmed it as well. But for the blood test the doctor wouldn’t even say HSV1, they tried to sugar coat it and say “if u get cold sores treat it with blah blah blah...” and I knew what they were talking about but I don’t get cold sores... 

There seems little doubt here that the oral sex is the culprit for the transmission of an oral HSV-1 infection to your genital area.

This guy has an oral HSV-1 infection. He hence may be well aware as he quite possibly gets cold sores on his lips or remembers doing so when younger. He has probably carried the infection since childhood.

Some 70% of guys have an oral HSV-1 infection. As such it is safe to assume he has it under these circumstances given such high prevalence.

He also has pretty good immunity to any further infection such as to his genitals owing to his immune system response to the virus.

There actually isn't a lot to gain in having him 'prove' he has HSV-1. It seems a bit immature not to test for it or at the very least simply acknowledge the high likelihood he has it and was your source. Nevertheless there is no reason to allow herpes to feature in your thinking here around a sexual relationship. Judge that on whether this is something you can justify to yourself.

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
    • Possiblehypercon11
      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.