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Easdem

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Easdem

Here is my story. 

I write it so that someone out in the inter-webs may benefit and perhaps be able to get a decent night of sleep in those first few days when we are waiting for a diagnosis from the doctor.

I bet that most people who are reading these posts are trying to self-diagnose, at least I did.  I lurked on this forum, read many posts and googled images all the time, I was hoping that what I had, that my symptoms were either a razor bump, inflamed hair follicles, impetigo....ANYTHING other than HSV.

I am married and have been for 10 years. Also, I haven't had any indiscretions- I did have a fairly libertine past before marriage tough.  I was a successful chef in a mayor metropolis/tourist destination and had a LOT of unprotected encounters.  I have been tested at least once a year since I was 18 years old for the standard battery of STI tests and have always tested negative for everything.

Every once in a while, I would get the random irritation...a single bump on my shaft. Always a solitary one. A "scratch" or "pimple" never gave it much thought as it would scab up and vanish in short time. I would always be able to attribute it to either friction, sweat, tight underpants, wetsuits or something, perhaps 4 times over the past decade.  I never had a partner who tested positive for any STI either. I considered myself lucky.

When my future wife, she told me she's was HPV+, was not an issue with me at all, moved on dated and get married.  Made a family, we punched out a little kid...all happy.

Here comes August 2019.  After an extremely stressful, busy, and anxiety ridden few weeks of work, I got a tiny bump, it grew and scabbed.  This time tough,  it took longer to heal and it had appeared exactly 6 days after I had sex with my wife.  She had taken a sales job two years ago with a fairly extensive travel schedule, and had been gone for a significant part of the last few months.  This made me wonder a bit, I got paranoid, and enter Doctor Google.  

If Google STD, you learn about STI.  Google STI and get a million photos, forums and bad information. None of it happens to match anything you have. I kept at it though, I ended up on this forum and realized that there are a LOT of people who have a-typical symptoms and most folks are sub clinical.  Not a single picture on any forum or google image looked like the single tiny "bump" I had.

I thought I was fine, I thought I was paranoid, and when I showed my wife, she reminded me that it looked like those bumps "you get" every few years and she seemed totally unconcerned.  That was the key...I knew I had to to my doc and get a swab (I could hear Wilson asking about that test) so that I would know 100%  

I went to my primary doc, and got a CPR swab and a HSV IGM (even though I asked for an IGG)

After a few nights of no sleep the CRP test came back + for HSV1  and - for HSV2.  The IGM showed some antibodies for both. The PA who was my caregiver understood that the IGM test the MD ordered was not the best diagnostic tool (even the company who they outsourced had a disclaimer about the results),  and with a positive CRP swab for HSV1 it was clear....I have herpes.

NOW comes the hard part.  I have to disclose my status to my wife. 

There are a couple of possibilities:

1-I have had this for a LONG while 
2-It's a new infection of unknown origin
3-It's a new infection and wife is the vector

(PS- I forgot to mention that I got the diagnosis on the day of my 40th birthday)

I didn't now how to approach this, no idea how to tell her.  I have never doubted her fidelity and had no idea how she would react to the news.  

I just told her point blank. I had gotten diagnosed with HSV1G. I was put on 1000mg of Valacyclovir for 10 days.  She needed to got to her OB ad get tested. I probably got it years ago.

Her tests all came back negative. IGM, IGG and she had nothing to swab.

I thought my life was over. I thought she would never believe me, I thougty it was all her fault, all my fault- NOTHING happened like I expected it....

Now, I am on daily suppressive dose and using condoms.

She was 1000% understanding of the condition and it was barely a blip in the grand scheme for our relationship and our family.  Although it can seem that HSV is a life ending/changing diagnosis, it's not.  One goes on, things may change, they may not...Just don't catastrophise.  

Put your head up and shoulders back...Stand up and walk forward.

WE CAN ALL OVERCOME!         

Thanks for reading.

Let me know if you have any questions.

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Tone123

Crazy it took you awhile for a diagnoses. I'm just curious if you've ever tested IgG throughout this whole time and showed pos result for hsv1.. I noticed you said u tested negative. Just not sure if u continued testing or not 

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blurneworder
3 hours ago, Easdem said:

Here is my story. 

I write it so that someone out in the inter-webs may benefit and perhaps be able to get a decent night of sleep in those first few days when we are waiting for a diagnosis from the doctor.

I bet that most people who are reading these posts are trying to self-diagnose, at least I did.  I lurked on this forum, read many posts and googled images all the time, I was hoping that what I had, that my symptoms were either a razor bump, inflamed hair follicles, impetigo....ANYTHING other than HSV.

I am married and have been for 10 years. Also, I haven't had any indiscretions- I did have a fairly libertine past before marriage tough.  I was a successful chef in a mayor metropolis/tourist destination and had a LOT of unprotected encounters.  I have been tested at least once a year since I was 18 years old for the standard battery of STI tests and have always tested negative for everything.

Every once in a while, I would get the random irritation...a single bump on my shaft. Always a solitary one. A "scratch" or "pimple" never gave it much thought as it would scab up and vanish in short time. I would always be able to attribute it to either friction, sweat, tight underpants, wetsuits or something, perhaps 4 times over the past decade.  I never had a partner who tested positive for any STI either. I considered myself lucky.

When my future wife, she told me she's was HPV+, was not an issue with me at all, moved on dated and get married.  Made a family, we punched out a little kid...all happy.

Here comes August 2019.  After an extremely stressful, busy, and anxiety ridden few weeks of work, I got a tiny bump, it grew and scabbed.  This time tough,  it took longer to heal and it had appeared exactly 6 days after I had sex with my wife.  She had taken a sales job two years ago with a fairly extensive travel schedule, and had been gone for a significant part of the last few months.  This made me wonder a bit, I got paranoid, and enter Doctor Google.  

If Google STD, you learn about STI.  Google STI and get a million photos, forums and bad information. None of it happens to match anything you have. I kept at it though, I ended up on this forum and realized that there are a LOT of people who have a-typical symptoms and most folks are sub clinical.  Not a single picture on any forum or google image looked like the single tiny "bump" I had.

I thought I was fine, I thought I was paranoid, and when I showed my wife, she reminded me that it looked like those bumps "you get" every few years and she seemed totally unconcerned.  That was the key...I knew I had to to my doc and get a swab (I could hear Wilson asking about that test) so that I would know 100%  

I went to my primary doc, and got a CPR swab and a HSV IGM (even though I asked for an IGG)

After a few nights of no sleep the CRP test came back + for HSV1  and - for HSV2.  The IGM showed some antibodies for both. The PA who was my caregiver understood that the IGM test the MD ordered was not the best diagnostic tool (even the company who they outsourced had a disclaimer about the results),  and with a positive CRP swab for HSV1 it was clear....I have herpes.

NOW comes the hard part.  I have to disclose my status to my wife. 

There are a couple of possibilities:

1-I have had this for a LONG while 
2-It's a new infection of unknown origin
3-It's a new infection and wife is the vector

(PS- I forgot to mention that I got the diagnosis on the day of my 40th birthday)

I didn't now how to approach this, no idea how to tell her.  I have never doubted her fidelity and had no idea how she would react to the news.  

I just told her point blank. I had gotten diagnosed with HSV1G. I was put on 1000mg of Valacyclovir for 10 days.  She needed to got to her OB ad get tested. I probably got it years ago.

Her tests all came back negative. IGM, IGG and she had nothing to swab.

I thought my life was over. I thought she would never believe me, I thougty it was all her fault, all my fault- NOTHING happened like I expected it....

Now, I am on daily suppressive dose and using condoms.

She was 1000% understanding of the condition and it was barely a blip in the grand scheme for our relationship and our family.  Although it can seem that HSV is a life ending/changing diagnosis, it's not.  One goes on, things may change, they may not...Just don't catastrophise.  

Put your head up and shoulders back...Stand up and walk forward.

WE CAN ALL OVERCOME!         

Thanks for reading.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you for posting this.

You are not the first nor the last person to prove herpes doesn't always look like herpes. Good lesson for those wondering about strange things popping up "down there."

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WilsoInAus
9 minutes ago, blurneworder said:

Thank you for posting this.

You are not the first nor the last person to prove herpes doesn't always look like herpes. Good lesson for those wondering about strange things popping up "down there."

It sounds exactly like herpes to me. 
Regardless, the lesson is to get a swab to remove doubt and guesses.

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Tone123
15 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

It sounds exactly like herpes to me. 
Regardless, the lesson is to get a swab to remove doubt and guesses.

Yes swab is better but apparently he hasn't had outbreaks for a long while before the swab result but yet still tested negative in blood. Kind if discouraging 

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WilsoInAus
2 minutes ago, Tone123 said:

Yes swab is better but apparently he hasn't had outbreaks for a long while before the swab result but yet still tested negative in blood. Kind if discouraging 

That was IgM. That’s not discouraging, that’s simply the wrong test.

As you pointed out IgG is better testing, maybe even a Westernblot if there are doubts.

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