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livelaughlove

newhere/would like suggestions for dating

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livelaughlove

hello...i contracted HSV 1 below the waist about September...that relationship has since ended. now i get to face the big bad world and dating with HSV 1. don't know what to do...but i have read what lot's of others do and have suggested...i guess this is my game plan and if you could offer suggestions or alternatives please do so..i realize that others have already gone through this and know much more than i do:

i'm not the type of person who could tell on a first date-wouldn't happen with me. cudos off to those that can tell on a first date, but just call me 'chicken'..i guess i would only feel truely obligated to even tell a partner if i thought that things were headed down south. in my opinion i guess i would feel that there is no need for them to know unless activity was going to happen below the waist and therefore give them the option of making that choice if they wanted to expose themself to HSV 1 or not.

with that said, it might take me a while to get to that point of giving myself sexually to a partner cuz i move slow, as in 3 or months to partake in a full throttle sexual relationship. (at least that's slow to me) really i probably wouldn't even do it until i was engaged to someone. but i realize that now that i have HSV 1, the talk probably can't wait that long. i guess what i'm saying is that i don't want to appear manipulative by holding out on the important info in order for them to fall head over heels in love with me so that having sex with me (someone who has HSV 1) would be easier for them because they love me. i guess i don't want to tell too early because i wouldn't want them to not have that respect for me and blab it all over the place...it just seems that if we were deeper into the relationship there would be more of an allegiance to me and our friendship and not spread my business. does this at all make sense?

my gyn. also said that older couples(people) have less of an issue of having a partner with HSV because if they love someone it's not so much of a problem because they want to be with them. He also said that its younger people that have much more of a problem with it. what do you all think about what i've posted?

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ArizonaLove

I would say younger people have more a problem with it because were still in the "It can't happen to me" stage. Like my friends joke about it... (The ones who don't know), like for instance, this dog would not go near this dude the other night, and someone said, "oh yea, its cause he smell your herpes" or something (mind you not the dog loves me, lol).

I casually dated a guy for about 3 or 4 months, never told him because things just didn't work out. I never felt comfortable around him to begin with.

But like I'm just starting a new relationship with an old friend that I'm crazy for. Its been maybe a month unoffically and things havent gotten serious yet, although I can see them heading in that direction. I'm still trying to come up with the nerves to tell him... I want him to know early enough that if it does affect the dating part, hopefully it wont kill the friends part, but at the same time, I want him to be hooked. :D

I too could not tell someone on a first date. Not even a second... It's always been a touchy subject. This is the first time in the past two years that I've really gotten close to a guy. I was drunk off shots and raped when I got it. Hence, major issues, Never have I been able to take shots since, and expect for my best friend, I havent been around guys alone either. But everythings way different with cory.

I guess in my opinion it really depends on how you feel towards a guy and how you think they will handle it at the time. Like I think Cory will be like, damm... that sucks... but I don't think he'll be like some of the stories where they completely shut you out.

And my best friend and I dated previously, and I told him. We've always been closer than most friends (the idea of a new guy kills him, lol) and he took the news just fine. We just limit what we do so he's not at risk, and he still chooses to fool around with me, over other girls. And It's not because I'm drop dead goregous, lol.

It really depends on who the guy is, how he finds out, and so forth.

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