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GeminiGirl83

Dating and Disclosure

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GeminiGirl83

Hi there,

It’s been a while since I visited this site. I have not had a genital OB for 3+ years now and I don’t remember the last time I had oral OB. I still don’t know what type I have but I’m guessing it’s hsv-1 for both. 
 

Anyway, I’m here to ask you friends about how to disclose this disease to a possible partner. So I recently decided to go back to dating again after many years of being single though I did casually date 2 guys before and disclosed to them what I have and yes got dumped after revealing it to them. Now, I’ve been talking with this guy I haven’t met and will meet soon this Feb as he will fly to where I am living for us to meet. Do you think I should disclose to him now so that he doesn’t have to waste his time? Or wait till I got to know him better? I actually prefer the latter as I’m afraid to be judged and he might tell many people about my condition :(. None of my friends or family knew about my genital herpes and I would like to just keep it that way. 
 

Also, how do you disclose this kind of things in a way that will not scare him? I wanted to actually ask him thru text about what his opinion of std and if he would date a girl with std but I am afraid he might ask if I have that and I don’t think I can disclose now. 
 

I have also read from some that you can pass this even if you’re having protected sex. I don’t want to infect someone with this. When I think about it I feel lime maybe I should really just be single and be lonely for the rest of my life as a punishment. 
 

Please someone help! 😭

Edited by GeminiGirl83
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Cas9

@GeminiGirl

If you tested, how can you not know what type you have?; i.e. I'm implying that you didn't test

Edited by Cas9

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Tulip79
11 hours ago, GeminiGirl83 said:

Hi there,

It’s been a while since I visited this site. I have not had a genital OB for 3+ years now and I don’t remember the last time I had oral OB. I still don’t know what type I have but I’m guessing it’s hsv-1 for both. 
 

Anyway, I’m here to ask you friends about how to disclose this disease to a possible partner. So I recently decided to go back to dating again after many years of being single though I did casually date 2 guys before and disclosed to them what I have and yes got dumped after revealing it to them. Now, I’ve been talking with this guy I haven’t met and will meet soon this Feb as he will fly to where I am living for us to meet. Do you think I should disclose to him now so that he doesn’t have to waste his time? Or wait till I got to know him better? I actually prefer the latter as I’m afraid to be judged and he might tell many people about my condition :(. None of my friends or family knew about my genital herpes and I would like to just keep it that way. 
 

Also, how do you disclose this kind of things in a way that will not scare him? I wanted to actually ask him thru text about what his opinion of std and if he would date a girl with std but I am afraid he might ask if I have that and I don’t think I can disclose now. 
 

I have also read from some that you can pass this even if you’re having protected sex. I don’t want to infect someone with this. When I think about it I feel lime maybe I should really just be single and be lonely for the rest of my life as a punishment. 
 

Please someone help! 😭

Davidis from January 5th, had a great testimony regarding disclosure.  Check it out.  I think everyone has to find there own way, it depends on the person and circumstances.  Good luck.

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LightafterDarkness

I would urge you to figure out if you have HSV1/HSV2 given your concerns.

In the case of HSV1 by age 50 60% of Americans carry the virus (source) and most people dont know they do since it causes no issues (kind of how everyone carries the ChickenPox virus). Basically if you date someone who already carries HSV1 and you have ghsv1 then they are protected.

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