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Newly Diagnosed & Depressed


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On Feb 10, I slept with somebody new. I specifically asked him if he had been tested for HSV and HIV via blood test. He told me he had just been tested two months ago and everything was negative and he hadn’t slept with anybody in a year. He either lied to me about being tested or lied about his status. I believe he knew he had HSV2, was not taking antivirals, and didn’t care if he infected me. Now he is using it to make me feel like I HAVE to stay with him because we both have this. And he is minimizing it. 
 

I am in pain, depressed, having suicidal thoughts (don’t think I’d act on them), and feeling hopeless. I have nerve pain all over my genitals, my lower back, my butt, back of my legs. It’s a constant pain and burning. I’m also bleeding as if I’m on a light period! ITS AWFUL! I don’t understand why anybody minimizes this!!! INFORMED CONSENT IS SO IMPORTANT! I feel violated! I’m so angry

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 3/4/2020 at 10:45 PM, HSV2sucks said:

On Feb 10, I slept with somebody new. I specifically asked him if he had been tested for HSV and HIV via blood test. He told me he had just been tested two months ago and everything was negative and he hadn’t slept with anybody in a year. He either lied to me about being tested or lied about his status. I believe he knew he had HSV2, was not taking antivirals, and didn’t care if he infected me. Now he is using it to make me feel like I HAVE to stay with him because we both have this. And he is minimizing it. 
 

I am in pain, depressed, having suicidal thoughts (don’t think I’d act on them), and feeling hopeless. I have nerve pain all over my genitals, my lower back, my butt, back of my legs. It’s a constant pain and burning. I’m also bleeding as if I’m on a light period! ITS AWFUL! I don’t understand why anybody minimizes this!!! INFORMED CONSENT IS SO IMPORTANT! I feel violated! I’m so angry

It will get better soon and be back to normal.  Or new normal that is.  As for him if you can prove he concealed the disease by a test already documented before. My test lab said it was reported to the health dept.  Thats how you would hold someone accountable and be able to sue them.

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Hsv doesn’t require health department reporting due to it not being a serious infection. 
 

Getting that information would be difficult anyway because it’s protected by law.  
 

I know it sucks.  I would focus on you for the moment.  You deserve to get yourself right and deal with him others at a later time.  

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Sorry that you are suffering, especially due to the selfish, irresponsible and criminal actions of another.

Many here will attest to the same, myself included.

I may have mis-read you post but I have to ask the obvious question.

Have you been tested via IgG test ? Do you have external symptoms that have been swabbed ?

Not doubting you, just want you to be sure so that you can take some appropriate action going into the future.

Edited by RNY18
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Também foi diagnosticada a pouco tempo, e estou muito triste.

No meu caso, o rapaz tirou a camisinha e eu não percebi, só vim perceber depois, e pronto, a herpes tava na minha vida pra sempre.

Agora surgiu essa bolinha na minha boca, alguém pode me dizer se parece com herpes. Tô com medo.

É um queda atrás da outra.

IMG_20200323_134948858_2_Easy-Resize.com.jpg

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I understand how you are feeling. The same thing similarly happened to me. I had unprotected sex and after i found out, i told him and he said he was clean. So either he really didn’t know or he knew and he just didn’t tell me. Clearly, he was not clean though. . Do not give up hope, it will get better. I hit my year mark this May and while I do still struggle with it emotionally, this forum def helps when you are feeling down. At the end of the day, i look at it as a blessing and a curse. A curse because it is unfortunately forever. However, a blessing because i see it as it will weed out the ones who are not strictly for you. Especially the ones that only just want to hook up and genuinely don’t care. It does not define us. And there are pieces of shit out there who know they have it and don’t say anything, which is completly disgusting. I can tell you i was told the first year is the hardest, and it is. I know it is hard right now but you will get through it ❤️

Edited by meg2
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1 hour ago, meg2 said:

A curse because it is unfortunately forever.

Not likely. They're getting close. Are you familiar with Dr. Jerome's work?

If you're young, you have a solid chance of being cured (at least practically). There are also prophylactic vaccines in the pipeline that have a lot of potential. If they work, your partner can get protection, and you wont have to worry about passing the infection.

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13 hours ago, meg2 said:

Eu entendo como você está se sentindo. O mesmo aconteceu comigo. Eu tive relações sexuais desprotegidas e depois que descobri, contei a ele e ele disse que estava limpo. Então, ele realmente não sabia ou sabia e simplesmente não me contou. Claramente, ele não estava limpo. . Não desista da esperança, vai melhorar. Eu atingi minha marca do ano em maio e, enquanto ainda luto emocionalmente, essa definição do fórum ajuda quando você está se sentindo mal. No final do dia, vejo isso como uma bênção e uma maldição. Uma maldição, porque infelizmente é para sempre. No entanto, uma bênção, porque eu a vejo, pois eliminará aqueles que não são estritamente para você. Especialmente aqueles que apenas querem se conectar e realmente não se importam. Não nos define. E há pedaços de merda por aí que sabem que têm e não dizem nada, o que é completamente nojento. Posso dizer que me disseram que o primeiro ano é o mais difícil, e é. Eu sei que é difícil agora, mas você vai passar por isso❤️

Obrigada amiga!

Não é fácil mesmo, estou muito triste.

Mas tentando seguir a vida, e preservando a minha família.

Não entendo como tem pessoas que fazem isso com as outras, não me imagino fazendo isso nem com o meu pior inimigo.

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12 hours ago, Cas9 said:

Não é provável. Eles estão chegando perto. Você está familiarizado com o trabalho do Dr. Jerome?

Se você é jovem, tem uma boa chance de ser curado (pelo menos na prática). Também existem vacinas profiláticas no pipeline que têm muito potencial. Se eles funcionarem, seu parceiro poderá obter proteção e você não precisará se preocupar em passar a infecção.

Deus te ouça, amigo!

Que tudo der certo pra gente!

Sofremos demais com essa doença.

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On 3/25/2020 at 2:24 PM, Babrb said:

Hello, could you send me a link about the work of Dr. Jerome and about the vaccines in the pipeline

You can start by watching these videos and reading the article about Dr. Friedman's work. There's one treatment for a cure (Dr. Jerome) and two separate prophylactic vaccines (Dr. Herold and Dr. Friedman). It gets rather science-y. I see that RNY18 sent you a link to a paper on Dr. Jerome's work also. You can reference the paper and/or the video I provided to understand Dr. Jerome's work. Enjoy.
Also, feel free to PM me with any questions and I'll try and answer them.

Potential herpes cure (Dr Keith Jerome)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bn3idMX9x1c

Prophylactic vaccines
(Dr. Betsy Herold)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wRT219obLM
(Dr. Harvey Friedman)
https://www.newscientist.com/article/2217255-herpes-vaccine-to-be-tested-in-humans-after-best-result-yet-in-animals/

Edited by Cas9
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On 3/24/2020 at 8:09 AM, Scooby2112 said:

Hsv doesn’t require health department reporting due to it not being a serious infection. 
 

Getting that information would be difficult anyway because it’s protected by law.  
 

I know it sucks.  I would focus on you for the moment.  You deserve to get yourself right and deal with him others at a later time.  

My state does.

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Can someone help me wrap around how to ask the guy if they gave it to you when your still together ..you knowing he did but not knowing if he knew or just didn't tell me...

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Just ask him calmly.  Start out by playing dumb perhaps and judge his reaction.  If you go into accusing you wont get anywhere and permanently blow any hope at all for an answer.  

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@Cas9 - thank you for posting Dr. Jerome's video. I work in IT and with machine learning, so some of the cellular biology is lost on me, but the gist is pretty accessible.

The tools they are working with are much more advanced than I had realized, and Dr. Jerome points out some advantages we have in tackling HSV, which is that relatively few cells (hundreds of thousands, not billions) are infected, and they are very localized. This makes targeting those infection areas more manageable. I'm not sure how good existing IT models are for simulating human microbiology, but as those models improve, ML-based approaches to discovering effective, safe combinations of delivery mechanisms and gene editing payloads would seem very hopeful. It might take another 10 years, but it's nice to see new approaches showing promise where traditional approaches (vaccines) have struggled.

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On 3/24/2020 at 10:16 AM, RNY18 said:

Sorry that you are suffering, especially due to the selfish, irresponsible and criminal actions of another.

Many here will attest to the same, myself included.

I may have mis-read you post but I have to ask the obvious question.

Have you been tested via IgG test ? Do you have external symptoms that have been swabbed ?

Not doubting you, just want you to be sure so that you can take some appropriate action going into the future.

Yes, iGG testing was done. I hadn’t had symptoms at the time of the post, but later I did. Mine were pretty minor compared to others I’ve read. Except the nerve pain sucked. 

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