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hsv 1 me vs hsv2 him

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Hi all,

My question is this..I have a potential new sex partner. He has let me know that he became positive as a "carrier" for hsv2 6 yrs ago. He has never transmitted it to anyone and hasn't ever had any outbreaks. Apparently his dr. says he's a carrier only. Well, ok, I grasp that..but, I have hsv-1 orally. I take 1000mg of lysine to keep it at bay. When I am feeling ill or fatigue whatever, I take 3000 a day. It has worked for me to prevent a cold sore on my mouth. My questions are..I know I will have a risk of getting hsv-2 from him. We wont be having protected sex, (my choice and his), if he abstains from the times he may feel a tingle..how low are my chances due to me having the antibodies already? I know it may be around 40%, I wonder if this is correct. He doesnt take any antiviral since he hasnt had any outbreaks. Again, all his past g/f's havent caught it either..yes, I know unprotected sex increases the risk and yes, I know the symptoms stay dormant. Aside from that, is this something I can manage and not necessarily fear..I would like to pursue this possible longterm relationship. Im just nervous like crazy. thanks all....:confused:

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*IF* he abstains when he is going to have a breakout/feels tingling/etc. then you'll most likely be exposed to the risk of shedding only - emphasis is on if, however.

Risk of shedding for genital HSV2 varies from person to person, but it is about 20% of the days of the year. If you have sex when he is shedding, then you are being exposed to the virus and the risk of contracting it then depends on how much virus is being excreted and on you.

Since you have HSV1 orally, you have some additional protection from contracting a genital herpes infection. There are no reliable stats for this one and there are plenty of people that have both oral and genital HSV infections.

Also, since you have HSV1 orally, you can give it to him orally or genitally.

Is all of this something you can manage and not necessarily fear? Well, it depends on what you mean. With protection, you can minimize the risk greatly. If you plan to have unprotected sex, then you know that the risk is about 20% of being exposed to the virus and maybe 40ish% of catching it if exposed. Unfortunately, stats don't paint the picture very accurately and once you have it, it will stay with you possibly for life.

A final thought: can you trust him when he says that he hasn't passed HSV-2 to his previous girlfriends and that he is "just a carrier"?

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Quest
      When I broke out/ shed it usually was on my backside left side, my  upper crack or back right below the belt! Doggy style is my absolute favorite position which makes him very vulnerable! I think there definitely is an advantage to wearing some sexy clothes or latex! Or even the liquid gloves. I think the biggest problem is that people shave now and they nick and cut themselves! That leads them open for infection on any part of the boxer area!  
    • WilsoInAus
      I’d build on this to say that the volume of virus is critical. It has been observed that shedding instances where there are 10^7 virions are required for a pragmatic chance to actually get through the skin and it’s natural defences. Most shedding instances are well below this threshold. I’d also suggest that for many asymptomatic transmissions, most of the virus comes to the surface during the sexual act itself. So little point testing beforehand.
    • floydmonk
      Thank you for sharing that. Very resourceful.
    • Cas9
      I wasn't following the conversation closely, but yes, all that matters in terms of being contagious is if the virus makes it to the skin.
    • yadayadayadayada
      @Cas9 isn't that a "technicality"? From the sound of it this means that on a cellular level there is a daily battle but at the end of the day the virus can't transmit until it is present on the skin... right? I mean the question will still be: how many days is the virus present and transmittable. The mechanism (the technicality) is important but also not important... but I could be wrong, just trying to interpret. 

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