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Updates..Any Help???

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so the guy that i was seeing that i said was being a jerk messages me "merry Christmas, talk to u soon..." you know that stuff. I was in shock because he told me he didnt want to talk to me anymore.

So anyway, I was having some headaches on and off and then when I start urinating i feel a little tingle (Which Ive felt this feeling before on and off for a year) So I take photos becuase I cant see down there. The first day I saw it NOTHING, the next day a little cut, then a few hours later ONE little pimple. Now Ive had this on and off for a while and it always feels that way in the same spot and I asked the doctor and he tested me. So thats what makes wonder why when I had sex with the guy it came in completely different spot with almost different feelings??? and now its only back to that one spot. What Im really wondering is if this is something different or that maybe he too also had hsv? I mean he hasnt said anything about being tested. Should I tell him that I think that Ive had it before and that this whole time we've been fighting I exposed him. (he feels like Im blaming him). But its like after he told me he never wanted to talk or see me again he calls 3 weeks later...WHY?

Also I was talking to a new guy recently...just friend someone to keep my mind off the other guy. This new guy really likes me and I keep telling him Im not right for him and we are not right for each other...ANYWAY Im talking to this NEW guy and we were on Instant Messenger so I started making stuff up like a question game and I said "Would you date a girl that...." and Id go from, a girl with 6 toes to a girl with a penis. So somewhere in the convo I said "would u date a girl with herpes" and he said "no lol". It killed me inside but then at the same time I thought to myself, good thing I didnt tell him. Then I also thought...if he really fell for men and he really liked me would he think differently even though we were playing that game. I wonder if he really thought his questions out.

Im just confused, sad, and frustrated...


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One thing you should try to remember is that people usually react the way you think they will. If this new guy really likes you he will take you as you are and, while expect him to be weary, he won't walk away. You have already told him you are right for him because you don't think he will accept you with it. When you tell someone about it you need to do it positively. If you tell him how horrible it is and that he shouldn't stay he wont. About the other guy... I say you should just be nice. I don't know the whole situation, but I think you should just be nice to him. It is possible that you have had it and he has had it and the new guy has it, too. Anything is possible and there are many people who have it and dont know they do. Do you know you have herpes or you just think you do. Give us a little more information and try to keep a positive attitude about yourself. Make sure you understand that you are the same person you were before you found out you have it (if you have it) and that people will often react the way you think they will. I am sorry for your situation and keep us up to date.

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The older guy needs to know. How he assumes you came about it he dosen't really have to know the truth but he knows that he was at risk to prevent spreading to any future people without knowning. If it's been awhile you may say oh I was with someone after you but I'm being told that I may have had it up to a year without knowing. Then there isn't the whole, "well you knew there was a chance you had it and still passed it on?" Either way if he's a jerk he may freak out about it. Either way, you don't need his BS in your life. You have enough to deal with without him.

I had to tell someone who I possibly could have gotten it from or vise versa (after talking with everyone I learned I got it afterwards from a blacked out drinking night with my married boss... still pissed at him). Only one of the people at risk totally flipped out on me, cursin and swearing. Knowing that guy wouldn't possibly tell his g/f, I told her using a past eperience months ago. she was okay, understood and got tested. Point is he does need to know but how you tell him he may have been put at risk.

As for the new guy, give him a shot. Only if you think your gonna like him tho. You don't need to tell him until your ready. As far as the dating a girl with herpes senerio (sorry for bad spelling) things are differen't when you think about them than when your actually approached with them. I'm now in a great relationshiip with a guy who I wasn't sure how he would react, but I told him bluntly, and he doesn't care. The only reason we haven't had sex is because I've decided it's best not to. We haven't been dating long enough for the choice to be made. It's entirely on lust in my opinion, but he doesn't have it and it hasn't affected anything between us.

I don't know if people joked around before but now I always pick it up, but people are always making jokes about having herpes. Not that they know but it's something they think wont happen to them. Kinda like dating someone with it, it's a joke because they don't expect to be approached with it. Hence why he said "no, LOL". By approaching it as a game, its fun and humor. I'm sure he would take it differently if you approached him in a serious manner. Does that make sence?

When you say your saying that your not right for him, is this just because you have herpes? If so, then thats so stupid. Sometimes you need to put yourself out there. Life is about living and learning, not hiding. If you like this guy even the slightest bit, give him a shot. Obviously he likes you by staying around after you've said your not right for each other.

I wish you all the luck in the world but I don't think you'll need it. Things always work out one way or the other. Be strong! And remember were all here for you! I'm interested to hear how it goes, either way. Remember, were not just here for the bad stuff. :D

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Games are games. When you are on the spot the answer will change then when you WANT to be on the spot. You understand? I talk to a stranger and it's "hell no i dont want some infected person". I talk to someone I want to be with and might be in love with it will be "well I don't care cause I like/love you and we can work with it"

you never know how it might really go. Good luck. Let us know

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

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    • honkschonks
      @Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do. It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back. Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it. Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.
    • Runride
      I've heard of STD dating sites but have never looked into one. Are they real? And does anyone have any experience with them?  If someone does I would really like to hear some details.  They sound kind of scary, but it seems it could also be a relief to know I would be less likely to be judged for this condition.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I've also considered this option..and its still looking like a good idea. so... Did you try any other Av's like famvir or privetir? I think there are some others too...  Up the vitamin C, check your vit D levels via bloodwork... Are you stressed out or have a stressful lifestyle ( aside from having HSV, which alone is a stressor)? There are no other health issues going on ? How hard are your workouts? The last few Obs I had were after very intense resistance/weight workouts, and I was completely exhausted after...combined with a night of bad or little sleep. Tried L- glutamine supplementation? Lithium orotate ( its a supplement too) has been known to supress the virus/replication too. I have also read it could mutate it...not sure how accurate that is, or if there was a study that proved that..maybe google it. I took The lithium one time and it was an abbreviated/shorter Outbreak than others...but I was also taking alot of vit C, or it could have happened for another reason...I'll never know for sure. but...mediating for 12 hours a day might help too... (seriously) but just don't meditate on HSV. Or maybe in another year your body will get a better hold on the virus and can cope better. it is depressing, I can relate.  My Obs have finally  lessened after 1 yr and 3 months. I still have almost daily sensations, tingling though..I'm probably contagious AF. Sex isn't really on the radar anymore. so No reason to take the AVs as they cause some side effects for me. Time to join that monastery. There are more important things in life than sex, right?  (thats what some people are telling me and I want to punch them. I really liked/enjoyed sex) Hang in there. I was told after the 6 yr mark, HSV becomes a non issue in your body. ( thats what one of my Drs told me, so  not sure how accurate that is either, but I guess it gives me 4.5 years of hope) let me know if any of this helps or you find something that does.I wish you the best.  
    • NY12345
      Perhaps some of the best advice I received a couple of years back was that even if you do have herpes, it doesn’t mean that everything going on downstairs IS herpes. Blisters on your penis, probably herpes. Cuts in your buttcrack, maybe-maybe not.  You’re not damaged goods, you’re now in the majority of the population which had some form of HSV. Your confidence, honesty and being a good partner will determine how your life moves forward, even if that’s hard to believe now. There will be rejection, oftentimes because of lack of education, and sometimes because not everyone wants to take that risk. That’s ok, people are turned down for all sorts of reasons, that’s just life. It’s ok to be bummed out, but herpes isn’t the end all be all.
    • Anon222
      Hey there, I think you should tell him. Wouldn’t you want the same if the roles were reversed and he had it but you didn’t? He has the right to know and should get tested. From what I’ve read though there’s a good chance that you didn’t transmit it because it’s hard to transmit GSHV1 to another’s genitals.  Don’t feel bad about it. You are a person and people make mistakes. Having this open conversation is important if you truly care about him I think. Good luck 

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