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lifegoeson234

My Beef

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lifegoeson234

So this is my beef i walk around everyday thinking to myself that this is such a wide spread thing and 80% of people walkin around with it dont even no they have it. I live in a city with about 4 million people in it as statistics say about 1 million of them have this so there is 800 000 people walking around my city that dont even know they have this and would be some of the first people to judge me if they found out i had this. Dose it make me a bad person to walk around like i dont have this and be like one of them and just go on with my life like i dont have this like all of them do. how can 800 000 people be waling around and not give a shit because they dont no. dose it make me a bad person if i was walking around doing all the things they are. For some reason everyone thinks that if the person gave it to you and they dint know its alright why is it alright. Am i carzy to think that the 200 000 people that do know they have it should just go on with there lives and not tell people like the other 800 000. until everyone else starts to care why should i. i know some people are going to be pissed at me for this but fuck the person that gave it to me dint care and the person that gave it to her dint care so why the fuck should i care. i walk around and ive lost all intrest in girls because i think whats the point she will just run if i ever told her i have H. But then you have so many people not giving a fuck just doing it anyways why in the hell should i care then. So many people just go on with there happy little lives but im hear because im to nice letting my life go to shit.

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scared1220

I feel the same way u do... my babys father I gusss didn't know he had it he gave it 2 me he doesn't care he is in denial he has never been diagnosed he is the only person I only had sex with in my life I'm 19 and I just had a baby he is 2 months.. I was diagnosed when I was 5 months prego.. And he lives as if he doesn't have it... and I don't get outbreaks except for the 1 at 5 months so it feels like I don't have it so I don't know wether 2 ignore it or not... so yeaaaaaa I feel like u... everyone else don't know so shit I don't either..... they r only gonna judge me if I tell the truth right??? Well I don't know when I caught it cuz I been with him for 2 yrs b4 I was prego..... so idk!!

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shoelover07

Yea i agree. It's crazy, because the majority of the population has HSV1, but since I have it genitally I have to disclose it before I'm intimate with anyone :( But I really doubt everyone who's ever had a cold sore discloses they have HSV1 before giving oral sex...and part of me feels like "why should *I* be any different, since the risks would be about the same?"

Also, why the HELL aren't herpes blood tests standard????? I used to request that my dr. test for any STD she could...she told me there was no test for herpes unless there was an outbreak. WTF?

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VVK

It's not as though everybody can live a normal life with this disease.. many suffer from physical pain and the psychological impacts.

Forgive me if I am misinterpreting your message... are you saying that you think that just because some people don't care about informing their partners about possible exposure to STDs, that you should do the same thing? So, just so you can have your careless sex, you should just go ahead and take advantage of the ignorance of a partner? It's okay to treat people like walking fuck-toys? Is this what your message is?

Does it make you a good person not to care about the health of others? It makes me sick to think that there are people out there that knowingly transmit this and other STDs, including HIV, just to please their appetite for sex. All this accomplishes is the further spread of disease and the destruction of health and lives. So no.. in my opinion, just because there is ignorance about this and many other STDs does not make it right for you, as someone who is aware of this, to pretend to be ignorant.

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lifegoeson234

yea that is tru i dont wanna give this to people im just really pissed off. so many people are walking around with this that dont no they have it and even the people that dont have it are walking around not knowing how many people really have it. When the second it gets brought up about someone they say they are dirty and get looked down on. im not sayin what i said because you think i wanna go fuck everything that breaths. I would just like one day to find a girl i dont care if i only have sex with one more girl as long as i love her and am happy. But with this dose not look like that will ever happen why should i let it stop me from gettin what i want in life and you have so many next people who dont care dont know they have it just going on with there lives. do people think that 80% of people that have it dont no. i would think its more like 30 or 40% that dont know 20% know and care to tell people and the other 40 to 50% just dont give a fuck.

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estoy_perdida

Understandable anger

I do see where you're coming from. I was shocked to learn that I have herpes. And even more shocked to learn that so many people don't know they have it. I think the number is high. But, I'm sure that at least some of those 80% have had some kind of symptoms and never bothered to have it looked at. To those I say fuck you! But I also know that some people never even get outbreaks. I consider those lucky, but a part of me wishes they did get obs. Maybe then the number of people that do get it could be cut down. I'm not saying that everyone is all of a sudden going to inform their partners. But what if that one person who never knew they had it because they never had an ob really be willing to tell someone...if they only knew they had it. I also don't agree about how testing for herpes is not included in a STD test unless it's asked for. WTF is up with that?! People think they are doing their part by getting tested, only the tests don't test for everything! If herpes is so prevalent then why not make it a deal to test for it along with gonnorhea and chlamydia?!

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Claudia
Yea i agree. It's crazy, because the majority of the population has HSV1, but since I have it genitally I have to disclose it before I'm intimate with anyone :( But I really doubt everyone who's ever had a cold sore discloses they have HSV1 before giving oral sex...and part of me feels like "why should *I* be any different, since the risks would be about the same?"

I have oral HSV, type unknown, and I have made the decision not to so much as kiss someone without disclosing.

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sorensad
and part of me feels like "why should *I* be any different, since the risks would be about the same?"

I hear you on that one for sure. Why do I have to be the who gets tested diligently? Why does it always end up that I care more about someone else's health than they do mine? Why is it that I can't even bring myself to tell the guy that gave this to me that he did? All I want to do, is call him over here and f his brains out at the height of an outbreak...like right now! I with him for 8 months and NOTHING! I have sex with him unprotected ONE freaking time. ONE time and bam! Herpes. W. T. F. Now I'm here burning and he is planning a trip to Trinidad. All I want is for him to burn...just one weekend or two, or ten!

No, I don't want to give it anyone else. Secretly, I'm comforted that ONE IN TWO African-Americans have GHSV. I read that in Essence this month. 1 in 2!!!!! What the hell??? The chances of me finding someone have gone up dramatically. Selfish eh? I know, but I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.

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sorensad

I found a pic of the guy that gave this to me on the internet. I'm using it as my back ground to remind myself not to be a stupid bitch....oh. Too Late.

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tothefuture

Got an idea. Can we set up a gallery on here - full of pictures of people who gave us this????

I'm half serious.:twisted:

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grimca

I understand

I understand that you don't care about the what ifs and stuff but you have to be considerate its hard but you do thats just like someone with aids thinking the same thing what if you don't care and u meet someone with aids don't care then u messed up more so just be considerate

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HC-Support-Team

Slander not acceptable here, sorry.

Got an idea. Can we set up a gallery on here - full of pictures of people who gave us this????

I'm half serious.:twisted:

Not a very nice idea. Hope you are only joking ;)

From time to time we actually get disgruntled ex's sign up using their partner's full name with a profile picture and some nasty blurb. They are deleted immediately but it always makes me a little sad to see this. Two wrongs don't make a right - our forum is here for support and definitely not to humiliate other people.

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sorensad

lol no. I was dating him. I have pictures of him, but I happened to be on a site that posts pictures from various parties in the City. The picture that I speak was taken the night that we met. I just thought it was interesting. If I had stayed home that night, things might have been different. oh well. Can't live in the past.

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tothefuture

Good grief, but then I suppose humour is sometimes lost in communications using just the written word.

So yes, just to make it clear, I was only joking.

Why?

Because it may be illegal - not sure.

Because people who are prepared to pass this shit on without disclosing it, are abusive, frightening people and we may be putting ourselves at further risk of harm from them.

Because some people would send pictures of people - who have nothing to do with herpes - just to be spiteful.

But would I think it was a good idea if the 3 reasons above could magically disappear?

Mmm…what do you think?

I had the best part of 30 outbreaks last year. I’m taking 4 tablets a day because of this shit. I have yet to tell a potential partner I have this - can’t wait for that.

I know my ex is not disclosing he has this, so if I could stop other women from getting this by posting his picture on the Net, then I think that would be a VERY good idea.

What's not nice about that?

How is that not being supportive to other women? Because as long as they don't know he has it, I can guarantee that they too will be subjected to ACTUAL BODILY HARM.

How is that humiliating? It would be simply stating the truth. And if the bastard who gave me this did feel humiliated - well hey, life’s a bitch.

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Peyton112181

I'm not usually a pascifist of "peacful" or whatever, but I only found out a few days ago and honestly, I could care less if I have and it doesn't matter who I got it from. I have informed the people I think might have passed it to me that they should get checked but I'm not angry with them in the least. Even if they did it intentionally what am I going to do it about it? Anger is a waste of time with this virus, especially if it's true that stress triggers outbreaks. With my job I have plenty of time to become stressed out without wasting my time being mad about this. Being pissed your whole life is a really long time. I understand why people are angry though and thats what alot of people need to feel to deal with it right now. We're all different. Just focus on doing everything you can to manage H and figure out how to be happy.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

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HC-Support-Team

The forum's perspective

Hi TTF,

I appreciate your stance and I respect your view.

However, in terms of the position of the forum, you must understand that we are not here to be nasty and smearing someone else is not a healthy form of support that we want to condone.

There are many circumstances to contracting this disease, one of them being that the person who gives this to another may not even know they have it, or they may be deeply upset by what has happened and trying to come to terms with their affliction themselves... just some aspects to consider.

I realize you were joking which is why I left off on a wink ;) and I do understand where you are coming from.

Shenda

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tothefuture

It always surprises me how effected I am when I think I am being misrepresented on here. After all, I don't know the people who come on here, and they don't know me. But for some reason, even when I try not to respond, I always do. Mmm...what does that say about me. I wonder.

However, in terms of the position of the forum, you must understand that we are not here to be nasty and smearing someone else is not a healthy form of support that we want to condone.

I really can't believe that you think this is what I was suggesting. If my post is somehow confusing (although I fail to see how it is), may I make it crystal clear that;

1. I was referring to people who DELIBERATELY PUT SOMEONE AT RISK WITHOUT DISCLOSING THEY HAVE THIS - which is illegal.

2. and in any case I was not making a serious suggestion - it was hyperthetical.

If you are not inferring that I would condone what you say in your statement above, then why write it? It reads as if that's exactly what you think I would do.

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sasha08

Sorensad, I bet every person on here felt stupid when the found out they had this, like how could I have let this happen, myself included. But unless you take every partner you are going to have sex with to the dr. and get tested and share your results together, then you risk getting STD's is highly likely, hell, its still risky even if you do get tested because somethings don't show up till months later like HIV and HSV in some cases.. I bet there are very few people out in the world that take these kind of precautions and guess what, they are at risk, unfortunately. I was one of those people walking around not knowing I had it til I got a tip that I need to get tested for all STD's based on my ex's behavior, did't really worry about it too much, had taken several tests over the years, they always had come back neg...til now...devastating, still dealing with the depression, but I'm done kicking myself in the ass, just nervous about the future. I'm not in a relationship and am worried about finding someone who can deal with this. People also know something is wrong with me, I am usually the life of the party and I'm struggling to leave the house for the past coupla days.

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