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i just found out i have it, someone..

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hey i just went to my doctor to get myself checked and i just found out that i have it. i dont even know what to do. im only 16. can someone please give me some advice. i already took stuff for it. and they went away. but like now no guys are going to want to do anything with me if they find out. and now my life is pretty much ruined. even if a guy has a condum on can they stil get it? what did you guys do, did u guys still get with other guys??? helllppp, :(


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Hi jess,

HSV+ people can still lead normal lives. Your life isn't ruined, unless you are specifically refering to your sex life - even then, that definitely isn't gone either. Look around these forums, there are many people here like you with similar questions and answers. There is a lot of support here and a lot of information.

Also, look at the statistics - many people have this virus, many aren't aware of it. Those who are H+ can take control of their symptoms, some can eliminate them (although the virus is still dormant in their systems). It may be somewhat more challenging to be intimate and safe with H- people in comparison to H+ people. However, the biggest problem is ignorance of the facts.

In the long run, you are still you, your life isn't ruined. It is important to learn as much as you can about how to manage HSV infection so as to minimize its impact on your everyday life.

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thanks, i guess my life isnt ruined. but im still worried. like every guy that comes up to me i practically have to turn them down. because of this. I think i might just take a break from guys for awhile =/ but thanks for your help.

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You need to realize that you are still the same person and you are still worth the attention of men. If you don't think you are worth it, its likely they wont either. There is no reason to have sex to have a good relationship. The only people that need to know are the ones you are going to have sex with, then you can let them decide if they want to take the risk. The man who loves you will still stay with you despite this little bump in the road. If he says he loves you for you, not the sex, he will continue to love you. Tell your future partners and stay positive. Learn to eat better and stay healthier to build your immune system to reduce outbreaks. Your life is not over... you will be much healthier and learn to choose your partners very carefully. If you need anything feel free to PM me. It will get easier.

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I am sorry you have to deal with this thing at such a young age. I would say that maybe you can just sit back and chill until you get a bit older. Take time to enjoy and do good in school. Spend lots of time with your family. The guys will come later and I am sure that you will have no problem with them as you get older. Enjoy the good things in life, at 16 there isn't a guy worth taking on forever anyway, so just kick back and live life. You are still the same person and just as good as you were before, don't let anyone tell you different.

Whatever you do do NOT tell anyone in your school. Don't tell your friends or any one else for that matter. Kids can be horrible and if a rumor gets started you will never hear the end of it. Trust me I know. Sit back and relax.


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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • honkschonks
      @Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do. It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back. Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it. Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.
    • Runride
      I've heard of STD dating sites but have never looked into one. Are they real? And does anyone have any experience with them?  If someone does I would really like to hear some details.  They sound kind of scary, but it seems it could also be a relief to know I would be less likely to be judged for this condition.
    • IcantThinkofaName
      I've also considered this option..and its still looking like a good idea. so... Did you try any other Av's like famvir or privetir? I think there are some others too...  Up the vitamin C, check your vit D levels via bloodwork... Are you stressed out or have a stressful lifestyle ( aside from having HSV, which alone is a stressor)? There are no other health issues going on ? How hard are your workouts? The last few Obs I had were after very intense resistance/weight workouts, and I was completely exhausted after...combined with a night of bad or little sleep. Tried L- glutamine supplementation? Lithium orotate ( its a supplement too) has been known to supress the virus/replication too. I have also read it could mutate it...not sure how accurate that is, or if there was a study that proved that..maybe google it. I took The lithium one time and it was an abbreviated/shorter Outbreak than others...but I was also taking alot of vit C, or it could have happened for another reason...I'll never know for sure. but...mediating for 12 hours a day might help too... (seriously) but just don't meditate on HSV. Or maybe in another year your body will get a better hold on the virus and can cope better. it is depressing, I can relate.  My Obs have finally  lessened after 1 yr and 3 months. I still have almost daily sensations, tingling though..I'm probably contagious AF. Sex isn't really on the radar anymore. so No reason to take the AVs as they cause some side effects for me. Time to join that monastery. There are more important things in life than sex, right?  (thats what some people are telling me and I want to punch them. I really liked/enjoyed sex) Hang in there. I was told after the 6 yr mark, HSV becomes a non issue in your body. ( thats what one of my Drs told me, so  not sure how accurate that is either, but I guess it gives me 4.5 years of hope) let me know if any of this helps or you find something that does.I wish you the best.  
    • NY12345
      Perhaps some of the best advice I received a couple of years back was that even if you do have herpes, it doesn’t mean that everything going on downstairs IS herpes. Blisters on your penis, probably herpes. Cuts in your buttcrack, maybe-maybe not.  You’re not damaged goods, you’re now in the majority of the population which had some form of HSV. Your confidence, honesty and being a good partner will determine how your life moves forward, even if that’s hard to believe now. There will be rejection, oftentimes because of lack of education, and sometimes because not everyone wants to take that risk. That’s ok, people are turned down for all sorts of reasons, that’s just life. It’s ok to be bummed out, but herpes isn’t the end all be all.
    • Anon222
      Hey there, I think you should tell him. Wouldn’t you want the same if the roles were reversed and he had it but you didn’t? He has the right to know and should get tested. From what I’ve read though there’s a good chance that you didn’t transmit it because it’s hard to transmit GSHV1 to another’s genitals.  Don’t feel bad about it. You are a person and people make mistakes. Having this open conversation is important if you truly care about him I think. Good luck 

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