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jess5287

i have a question

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jess5287

alright well i just found out i got herpes. like last week. it was my first time having sex and i got it. if you have sex with a guy can they automatically get it when you have it? im so scared to see what a guy would say if they know ihave it. most guys would leave me if they know =[

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VVK

They don't "automatically" get it if you have it. The chances are very good, however, if you are having an outbreak with sores and have skin-to-skin contact with them at that time. The risks are lower at other times.

A lot of your concerns are already addressed on these forums. Look around, use the search function and you will find that these questions have been asked and answered previously. There are entire topics based on when and how you should tell your partner about your status.

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inspired83

definitely use this site and read up on it. it's the only support I get right now. I don't go to an outside counselor (no insurance...etc) but this site and the forum really help out.

Take time to learn more about what you have. It's okay to be afraid. We all are and once were. The people here are pretty supportive and will help you on your way. Take care!

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chicago girl

Hi Jess,

I'm sorry this happened to you. It happened to everyone here at some point in their lives~~i was 38 when it happened to me. I guess that we all need to learn from our mistakes. We all thought that STD's happened to other people, not to US! We are doctors and lawyers and teachers and students, wealthy and poor, black and white~~this virus doesn't discriminate.

You and I now have something in common (who knew you could have something in common with a 38 year old woman from Chicago!!). We both need to educate ourselves on every STD, not just herpes. Let's make this our only mistake. Commit yourself to being healthy and respectful of your partner. Remember that your partner could have HPV or HIV or Chlamdia or Warts or a number of other sexually transmitted diseases. We have seen how easily this can be transmitted, without precautions and education. Let's not get caught in the same situation with another STD.

Use this forum to vent, ask, listen and learn. We are here for you.

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    • Constant Diplomat
      Man, I think you need to meet people before you disclose to them. Having said that, I've disclosed via text and that worked for me with my ex girlfriend. We were together almost two years. Gotta get out there and take a few hits, to iron out your approach.
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      Shit now I'm worried.   My partner had no symptoms, and never has and does not know status.   Has gone to be tested too.  Recently cleared of other std's but honestly we never discussed HSV.
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      Oral was involved too....
    • Constant Diplomat
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