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Long term marriage and hubby has never had any infection.


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Hi I have been with my husband for 24 years now and he has never had any infection off me.i was told I had genital herpes 2 when I was 17 I had only been with 1 other person before my husband and I am pretty certain I git it from him. We have had 2 children naturally and been really sexual up until a few years ago when I was put on a pill that took away my libido. I came off that pill and now have the libido of a teenager🤣 I am currently going through an ob so no sex at the moment but I was just wondering with my husband never having any symptoms would it be safe for me to give him oral sex? As I don't want him missing out. Only asking because he has never really been interested in it before but and we are wanting to give it a go x.

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Hey @Shellybum if you have HSV-2 genitally, then you cannot infect him with HSV-2 from giving oral sex. Herpes is very localised and sheds only from the infected nerve ganglion.

Be worthwhile testing to understand both your statuses in terms of herpes. It sounds like you had a visual diagnosis many years ago before IgG testing. Getting this test would be a very useful start.

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Thank you for your reply. How would I go about getting this test 🤔 will a Doctor carry them out or do you have to organise it yourself? Also if my hubby has never had any signs in 24 years  could this mean he possibly doesn't have it or could he be a carrier? Even tho I have had this so long there is not really anyone to explain how this works if you know what I mean. Doctors just tend to fob you off really x.

Edited by Shellybum
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No probs @Shellybum. The test you are after is for IgG antibodies type specific for HSV-1 and HSV-2. The Herpeselect test from Focus Diagnostics is amongst the best you can have. Your doctor should be able to complete a test requisition form similar to any other blood test.

One school of thought is not to worry about this at all. What would you want to be different about your life, including your sex life? If you can put it out of your head and move on as you once did, you might find that a good course of action.

There are numerous possibilities here, including:

  • you have genital HSV-2 and owing to your care to avoid sex during outbreaks you haven't transmitted the virus - this is true for about half of all couples in your situation
  • you have genital HSV-1 that reduces the chances of transmission and your husband may already have the oral cold sore virus
  • you were misdiagnosed visually and do not have genital HSV at all.

Might be useful knowing which of the above is true!

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Thank you so much and I think you are right we are both really happy I couldn't ask for a better partner. Think I just get stressed about sex during outbreaks when i know I shouldn't  but I am sure it will all be fine x.

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