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painful lesson

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Guest Anonymous

Here is my story.... About a year ago I had a beautiful little girl. Her father and I split about a month into my pregnancy due to his expensive habit. (weed) We didn't even have a talking relationship, and there has been know one till now, so I guess you can say that it has been a while since I've been touched. When my daughter was 2 months old I met this really amazine guy. He had just seperated from his wife after 6 years of marriage and was getting a place of his own. Knowing this, we decided to take things really slow..(oh yeh..and he lives in a different city) He decided to visit me on new years eve. We had an incredible time but we didn't have sex. (it was that time of the month) we talked for another couple of weeks and I decided to go to his place and stay the weekend. I was all set...had my mom to bbsit, cleaned my house, packed...the anticipation almost killed me. Finally I got there and it was sooo nice to see him. He is the first guy that I've ever been completely ga-ga over. Our weekend was pretty intense. I hated to leave and he hated seeing me leave. When I got home he decided to come to my town for his birthday....he reserved a suite at a hotel with champagne and chocolates and we made plans to go out for dinner and then have a nice romantic night with just the 2 of us. The Wed. after I returned from seeing him I started getting some discomfort down in the lower region. I thought it might be a yeast infection at first but the pain only intensified and by this last Friday I could barely walk. I went to the doctor and she broke the news to me that it looks like Herpes. I don't know what type yet, (tomorrow I'll find out) but I was devistated. I sat there wishing she had told me that I was pregnant, but this? I didn't know what to say and the only thing that popped into my head was that HE gave it to me and he probubly doesn't even know he has it. I cried all the way home and have been crying ever since then, on and off. I told "HIM" on Sat. and he sounded supportive. He has never had a cold sore nor has his ex-wife. He told me that he really cares about me and that he's just not going to toss me aside. He said that everything is going to be ok and we will work through this together. Before saying our goodnight's he told me that he would call me today (Sunday) but he hasn't yet and it's about 1:41 am Monday morning. I'm really not that worried..I know he needs time to think and maybe get checked but reading some fo those postings that everyone put up, will he really know for sure whether he has it or not unless he breaks out? I've printed off as much as I can on Herpes and have been reading alot in the past couple of days but I can't help thinking that I might have had it from past partners and just now broke out. I'm so confused. Well, that's it for now. I get to hear what my doc. has to say tomorrow...I hope she can tell me something good like I don't have Herpes and yes it's just a really bad yeast infection but I think I know the truth. I'm not looking for anyone to reply to this if you don't want to...I just wanted to tell someone that I'm not related to or friends with, at least until I come to terms with this. ty :cry:

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Thank-you for the confidence. I am comforted by your kind words.

ok, so this will be the 2nd time rewriting this reply. After reading other postings I gather that this isn't the end of the world. so I have Herpes...so does a lot of people. I love reading others take on this.... you, mc37pilot and lasmom seem to be very intouch with this and give really good advice. It's nice to know that I have someone I can turn to for either advice or an ear. now...I jsut need to find out how my boyfriend is taking all of this...he hasn't called or MSN'd and I'm afraid that he's not dealing with this too well....oh well...I guess we'll see.. :wink:


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Of course, it is not the end of the world. It's rather the beginning of the world. Wonderful world. :D

No matter what doctor say today, you will be just fine. With him, with someone else, or even without anyone, you're gonna have a beautiful life ahead of you. I'm not just saying that.

Tell him the information that you got, so that he can take care of himself, too.

Always, focus on the bright side of things.

In that way, your life can't go wrong. <smile>

Best wishes.


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Yeah it's a funny thing. My husband insists he hasn't broken out yet, he did once, went to the doc, they froze the bumps to kill them, and they never came back. I find it odd because we have had sex while I had a bump. Nothing about this seems to phase him physically or mentally. Maybe he's a prodigy, lol...

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:D well, I finally talked to him. How happy am I right now! I think him and I are going to do just fine. My doc. says that I only have to take this medication till Friday then I'll be done. Finally...I'm already starting to feel better....doesn't hurt so much. My boyfriend told me that he's had warts in the past but his doctor said they where just that, "warts"...hhmmm? makes you wonder? anyways, I'm getting lots of support from my friends that know about it...(yes, to some, my life is an open book) and from those who still think I have a bladder infection...well, there supportive as well. There's just some things, some people don't need to know.. :wink:

Now that this is semi-undercontrol...is there anyone that knows a quick fix for a double chin! lol...


can warts be mistaken for herpes? :?

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    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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